When Insecurities Take Over: Lessons From a Tough Week

Insecurities have driven much of my behavior this week, and it’s time to take accountability. This isn’t your typical “parenting” post. I’m not here to share tips or lessons learned from my kids. Instead, this post is about me—about the insecurities, struggles, and mistakes that have taken center stage in my life this week.

Matt and I have been in a perpetual argument for days now, and I know a lot of it stems from me. My insecurities, my need to fix things immediately, and my inability to give him the space he needs have turned small moments into big conflicts.

I’ve said and done things I wouldn’t normally say or do, and it’s left me feeling drained. But I believe there’s healing in speaking openly about these struggles—acknowledging the mistakes, holding myself accountable, and taking the steps to seek help. Maybe you’ve been here too. If so, I hope my story reminds you that you’re not alone.

Recognizing the Cycle of Insecurities

This week made me painfully aware of how my insecurities drive my actions. When Matt feels frustrated or upset, my first instinct is to assume it’s my fault. That assumption triggers a need to fix the situation immediately, even when he needs space. Instead of letting him process, I push for solutions, which only escalates the tension.

It’s a cycle I’ve been stuck in for years: insecurity, overreaction, and regret. Recognizing it is one thing, but breaking it? That’s something I’m still working on.

Owning My Part in Letting Insecurities Take Over

I said and did things this week that I wish I could take back. Words spoken in frustration, actions driven by fear—it’s not who I want to be, but it’s who I’ve been in those moments.

Part of the healing process is accountability. I can’t undo what’s been said or done, but I can take ownership. I can apologize, not just to Matt, but to myself for letting insecurities control me. And I can work toward becoming the person I want to be: someone who listens more, reacts less, and allows space for others to feel without making it about me.

Seeking Help to Overcome Insecurities

This week, I let my insecurities get the better of me, leading to moments I deeply regret. In a breakdown, I turned to TikTok Live, momentarily seeking input and validation from strangers—something I quickly realized was a mistake. As soon as it hit me how inappropriate and unproductive that was, I immediately ended the livestream. But not before people I care about saw it and started reaching out, worried and confused.

To those who saw that moment and felt concerned, I want to apologize. It wasn’t fair to pull others into my raw, unfiltered emotions like that, especially in such a public way. My intention wasn’t to alarm or cause hurt, but I know my actions may have done just that. I’m sorry for not handling my emotions more constructively and privately.

This moment also brought up a lot of unresolved pain. There are people in my life—people I’ve loved deeply and considered lifelong friends—who have completely blocked me from their lives. This isn’t a new experience; I’ve dealt with this kind of loss since my teenage years. My insecurities tell me it’s because of how I’ve tried to fix things and, in doing so, made everything worse. Whether or not that’s true, the pattern feels inescapable, and it feeds my belief that I’ll never get it right.

Acknowledging this is painful, but I know I need to face it. I’m learning that healing isn’t just about repairing the present; it’s about addressing the wounds of the past that still shape my actions today.

Lessons Learned

Here’s what I’m taking away from this week:

1. Not everything is my fault. People are allowed to have bad days, and it doesn’t always mean it’s about me.
2. Space is healthy. Sometimes, giving someone time to process is the most loving thing I can do.
3. Grace is essential. For Matt, for myself, and for the process of learning and growing.

Conclusion

I’m still raw, emotionally and mentally, but I’m learning. Speaking openly about this is part of my healing process. It’s a reminder to hold myself accountable, to seek help, and to give grace—to Matt, to myself, and to the journey we’re on.

If you’ve struggled with similar insecurities or conflicts, know that you’re not alone. Healing is messy, but it’s also worth it.

Let’s Talk About It

Have you ever struggled with insecurities in your relationships? Let’s talk about it. Share your story with me via email at [email protected] or connect with me directly on Facebook or Instagram. Together, we can navigate the ups and downs of personal growth.