parenthood
Family Foundations

What I Wish I Knew About Parenthood Before Becoming a Parent

by Denise Wright

Parenthood 101

Parenthood is a wild, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey. Before becoming a parent, I had plenty of expectations about what raising children would look like. Some of those expectations were accurate, but most were, well, completely off. Nothing fully prepares you for the emotional rollercoaster, the sleepless nights, or the indescribable joy that comes with the journey.

If I could go back in time and have a conversation with my pre-parent self, there’s so much I’d want to share—lessons learned through mistakes, unexpected triumphs, and the beautiful messiness of parenthood. While it’s true that no one gets it perfect, having some insights beforehand could have made the transition a little smoother.

Before writing this post, I sat down with Matt and asked him what he wished he had known before becoming a dad. Together, we reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way. In this post, I’m sharing what both Matt and I wish we had known about parenthood before becoming parents—from the sleepless nights to the everyday joys—and how this journey has shaped our lives in ways we never imagined.

1. Parenthood Redefines Exhaustion (and Joy)

When I asked Matt about the biggest adjustment to sleepless nights and long days, his answer was straightforward: “Having to provide for a kid who couldn’t do anything for himself.” For me, it was the constant worry that I was doing everything wrong or making all the wrong decisions. I quickly learned to trust my instincts when Ethan developed pyloric stenosis at just six weeks old—a moment that taught me the importance of listening to my gut as a parent.

The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. Knowing that someone is entirely dependent on you is both humbling and exhausting. But alongside the hard work comes moments of joy that make it all worthwhile. Watching your child grow, smile, and eventually give you a hug are the priceless moments that redefine what joy means in parenthood.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Matt thought he’d naturally be great at giving advice to his kids. Instead, he’s discovered that it’s something he’s still learning. “Kids don’t always want answers,” he admitted, “and sometimes, I’m not sure what the right advice is.”

We often tell our kids, “We’ve never been the parents of an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old before. Have patience with us as we figure it all out.” And that’s exactly how we came up with the name for our blog and podcast. Parenthood really is one big experiment—trial, and error, and everything in between. Sorry, kids!

Parenthood has shown us that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being present, listening, and showing your kids that you’re willing to learn and grow alongside them. And when we make mistakes… we have gotten pretty good at letting them know and when necessary, apologizing for making said mistakes.

We explore this topic in much greater detail in our eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection. And the best part? We’re giving it away for free to our subscribers! Just enter your email below, hit subscribe, and we’ll send the PDF straight to your inbox shortly after.

3. The Little Things Matter the Most

When I asked Matt about moments that make him feel like he’s doing something right as a dad, his answer was simple: “When they come up and hug me, or I see Ethan open a door for somebody.” I’d have to agree with this one 100%! I love it when the kids come to sit next to me for cuddles or just to ask me how my day is going or how I’m feeling.

Those small acts of kindness and love are a testament to the values we’re instilling in our kids. Watching them demonstrate empathy and respect in their everyday lives is one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood. It’s a reminder that the little things—like modeling kindness and giving hugs—really do make a difference.

4. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Like many parents, Matt admitted that he still compares himself to other dads. “I still do,” he said. And honestly, what parent doesn’t?

It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when social media often highlights picture-perfect parenting moments. But parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about doing what works best for your family and focusing on the values you want to instill in your kids. Letting go of comparison is an ongoing process, but it’s worth the effort for your peace of mind and your family’s happiness.

5. Your Identity Will Shift—and That’s Okay

When I asked Matt how becoming a dad changed him, his answer was straightforward and to the point: “More responsibilities.”

Parenthood shifts your identity in profound ways. For Matt, taking on the role of provider, protector, and mentor has brought a new level of accountability and purpose. While the added responsibilities can feel heavy at times, they’ve also given him a deeper sense of fulfillment and pride in being a dad.

For me, becoming a mom was something I had dreamed about since my early teenage years. I absolutely adored my sister’s girls and couldn’t wait for the day I’d have children of my own. I was the teenage girl who always wanted to help young moms with their babies and toddlers. Whether it was volunteering to teach or watching the kids during events, I jumped at the opportunity—not out of obligation, but because I genuinely loved spending time with them.

I laugh at that now, of course, because nothing fully prepares you for having kids of your own. Parenting is a whole different ballgame when you’re on call 24/7, managing the chaos, the mess, and the endless energy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids with all my heart, but I’ve also learned to love and appreciate the breaks. Those quiet moments when you can finally breathe and recharge are just as vital to being a good parent as the time spent pouring into your kids.

Parenthood is beautiful and challenging in equal measure. It changes you in ways you don’t expect, and while it’s everything I dreamed of, I’ve also learned the importance of finding balance and giving myself grace along the way.

6. Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

One of Matt’s most honest—and funniest—reflections came when I asked if there was ever a time he realized he needed help as a parent. Without missing a beat, he took me back to the early days of parenthood and made me laugh: “We’re pregnant. What do we do now?”

Classic Matt. That single question perfectly summed up the mix of excitement and sheer panic we both felt in those early days. Asking for help during those uncertain times took humility (and a bit of bravery), but it also brought much-needed guidance and reassurance.

Parenthood is a team effort, and seeking support—whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals—doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you’re willing to put your family’s well-being first, even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers. And let’s be honest—none of us do! Sometimes, all you can do is ask the question, take a deep breath, and figure it out one step at a time.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of Matt’s proudest moments as a dad is watching Ethan open doors for strangers. “We’ve often been complimented on it by people,” he shared.

Parenthood isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about celebrating the small wins. Seeing our kids display kindness and respect, even in seemingly minor ways, is a reminder that we’re making progress as parents. Those moments, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be celebrated.

Conclusion: What We’ve Learned About Parenthood

Parenthood has taught Matt and me more about patience, grace, and the art of not losing our minds than we ever thought possible. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s packed with moments that make the chaos and hard days worth it—like when the kids hug you for no reason… or finally remember to flush the toilet.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that parenthood is less about having it all figured out and more about figuring it out as you go. It’s messy, unpredictable, and humbling—like stepping on Legos at midnight—but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. And hey, if the kids end up in therapy one day, at least we can say we tried our best!

If you enjoyed reading about Matt’s perspective on parenthood, subscribe to Our Family Experiment for more real-life parenting stories and tips. Don’t forget to grab your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you sign up!

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ideas for family
Family Foundations

Ideas for Building Resilient Kids: Strengthening Emotional Foundations for Your Family

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Raising emotionally strong kids can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re searching for ideas for your family to build resilience, create stronger connections, and help your kids face life’s challenges with confidence, you’re in the right place.

In this post, we’ll explore practical tips, real-life examples, and simple strategies to help your kids grow emotionally while strengthening your family bond. Because when kids learn to manage emotions and overcome obstacles, they don’t just bounce back—they thrive.

1. Creating a Safe Space for Emotions

Building emotional resilience starts with teaching your kids that their feelings are valid and welcome.

  • Listen First: Encourage your child to share what’s on their mind without jumping in to “fix” the problem. Sometimes, they just need to feel heard.
  • Model Emotional Awareness: When you’re frustrated, say things like, “I’m feeling upset right now, but I’m going to take a deep breath and calm down.” Kids learn resilience by watching us handle our own emotions.
  • Tools for Younger Kids: Consider a feelings chart for younger children to name their emotions, or perhaps a journal for older kids over the age of 7.

This is especially important in our household because our daughter Addison experiences a wide range of emotions on a regular basis. Every day, we’re learning a little more about how to help her regulate her feelings, process things that upset her, and prepare for situations that might trigger strong reactions.

Though she’s the loudest in our house and a constant chatterbox, Addison is also incredibly sensitive. She reacts strongly to certain noises, has specific preferences for clothing textures, and is very particular about the foods she eats. Understanding her unique needs has been a journey, but it’s teaching us so much about patience, empathy, and creating an environment where she feels supported.

2. Teaching Problem-Solving Skills

When life gets tough, kids need to know how to work through challenges rather than avoid them.

  • Encourage Independent Thinking: Next time your child has a problem, ask questions like, “What do you think we should do?” or “What are a couple of solutions you can try?”
  • Break It Down: Help kids tackle challenges step by step so they don’t feel overwhelmed.
  • Celebrate Effort Over Outcomes: Remind your kids that trying and failing is often how we grow the most.

✨ Practical Tip: Start a family mantra like “In this family, we try, learn, and try again!”

3. Prioritizing Connection in Your Family

Strong emotional bonds help kids feel secure enough to handle life’s ups and downs. In our family, we’ve found that creating these bonds doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s often the little moments of connection that make the biggest difference. Whether it’s sitting down together for a meal, laughing over a shared joke, or simply being present when emotions run high, these everyday interactions build a foundation of trust and love.

One way we’ve worked on strengthening these connections is by being intentional about how we spend time together. Activities like family game nights or taking time to really listen to what our kids are saying have become simple but meaningful ways to create stability and connection.

There are many ways to strengthen your family’s bonds, from creating special traditions to finding small ways to show support every day. These efforts, no matter how small, provide kids with the stability and security they need to navigate life’s challenges with confidence.

These small, intentional efforts don’t just make kids feel loved—they give them the emotional security they need to face challenges with confidence.

  • Family Traditions Matter: Whether it’s weekly family game nights or bedtime chats, routines build connection and consistency.
  • Spend One-on-One Time: Even 10-15 minutes of focused time with each child can make a big difference. Ask about their day, dream with them, or simply share a laugh.

4. Teaching Healthy Coping Strategies

One of the best ideas for your family is helping your kids learn how to manage stress and disappointment in healthy ways.

  • Breathe Through It: Teach your kids simple deep breathing exercises to calm their minds.
  • Physical Outlets: Encourage activities like walking, biking, or playing outside when emotions run high.
  • Create a Calm-Down Space: Set up a cozy corner with soft blankets, books, and stress relief tools such as a box of sensory fidgets for kids who need a break.

In the end, even adults sometimes need a moment to cool down and breathe before reacting or engaging. In fact, I’d go a step further and suggest that those who are quick to react at the drop of a hat likely didn’t have someone teach them healthier ways to cope with their emotions growing up.

I’ll be honest—I struggle with reacting before I think, and I’ve noticed my kids have picked up on that habit too. But the fact that I can acknowledge it gives me hope—for their future and my own. After all, the first step to solving any problem is recognizing that it exists.

5. Practicing Gratitude as a Family

Gratitude shifts the focus from what’s missing to what’s already good in our lives—building a positive, resilient mindset.

  • Family Gratitude Jar: Have each family member write down one thing they’re grateful for each week and place it in the jar. At the end of the month, read them together.
  • Gratitude Journals: Encourage kids to list three “good things” each night before bed.
  • Model Thankfulness: Share your own moments of gratitude out loud.

✨ Reminder: Resilience grows when kids learn to look for the silver lining, even on tough days.

6. Celebrating Small Wins Together

Resilience isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Celebrate the effort your kids put into growing, trying, and learning.

  • Call Out the Little Things: Did your child try something new, stick with a tough task, or handle a disappointment well? Celebrate it!
  • Create a Family Wins Jar: Write down victories big and small, from “finished my chores without complaining” to “I stayed calm when I felt frustrated.”

Matt and I created an eBook that dives deep into Celebrating the Wins (Big and Small) and is packed with great ideas to help you do just that. Want a copy? Subscribe to Our Family Experiment today, and we’ll send you the eBook for free! It’s our way of saying thank you for joining us on this journey.

Conclusion: Resilience Starts at Home

Fostering emotional resilience in your kids isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, offering grace, and creating space for them to learn, grow, and bounce back stronger. These ideas for your family can help you build a foundation of emotional strength that will carry your kids through the challenges life throws their way.

Remember, small efforts add up. Every time you connect with your kids, celebrate their progress, or model resilience in your own life, you’re equipping them with tools they’ll carry for a lifetime.

Want more ideas to help your family thrive?

  • Subscribe to Our Family Experiment for real-life parenting tips, relatable stories, and exclusive updates.
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Don’t forget to download your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you subscribe! We will send it straight to your email within minutes!

Family Life

Balancing Work, Parenting, and Personal Time

by Denise Wright

Balancing work, parenting, and personal time often feels like a juggling act with no manual. As a mom, I know how overwhelming it can be to meet deadlines, keep the house running, and still carve out time for yourself. The truth is, we can’t do it all perfectly—but with a few strategies, we can create a rhythm that works for our families and ourselves.

Let me tell you, I’ve been there. Mid-thought on a work project, and suddenly, my kids, God love them, have the most pressing questions—always at the most inopportune times. Add to that living in someone else’s home, without your own space, and it feels like the chaos is magnified. It’s tough, but these experiences have taught me a lot, and I’m excited to share some of the ways we’re learning to balance it all.

1. Embrace the Power of a Schedule

Having a schedule isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Start by blocking time for work, parenting, and personal care. Even a loose plan can make a big difference in managing the chaos.

This past Friday, Matt and I planned a date night. We sent the kids to my sister’s house for a sleepover so we could have an uninterrupted deep discussion about our budget and set goals for the next five years. It was a much-needed moment to recalibrate as a team. Thankfully, our trusty See It Bigger Planner kept everything organized because we had a lot to cover!

At the end of the day, having a plan helps reduce the stress of life’s inevitable surprises. A great plan gives you a sense of control in what often feels like uncontrollable circumstances. As we’ve learned in 5 Parenting Lessons We’ve Learned the Hard Way, flexibility is key—because even the best plans require adjustments.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

One of the biggest lessons we’re learning—and trying hard to implement—is setting boundaries between work and family time. This is not easy. When you work remotely or for yourself, it’s tempting for your family to see you at your computer and assume you’re available.

Communicating your work hours is critical. Let your family know when you’re working and when you’ll be fully present with them. And when it’s time to log off, honor that commitment. It’s not just about getting work done; it’s about showing your family that they are a priority, too.

3. Delegate and Accept Help

You don’t have to do everything. Get the kids involved with age-appropriate chores, and don’t hesitate to lean on your support system. For us, it’s a team effort. Matt and I divide tasks based on who’s available and best suited for them. The kids help, too—whether it’s cleaning their rooms or caring for the dogs, every little bit counts.

Sometimes, outside help is a lifesaver. Whether it’s a family member offering to babysit or a food delivery service like DoorDash, don’t be afraid to say yes when help is offered. You’re not failing by asking for assistance—you’re being resourceful.

4. Make Time for Yourself

This one is easier said than done, but personal time is critical. Whether it’s 10 minutes of journaling, a long shower, or pursuing a hobby, prioritize activities that recharge you.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. The other day, I wasn’t feeling well, and we had a grocery pickup scheduled. Matt graciously offered to handle it for me. Normally, I’d push through, but I knew resting was the best choice for everyone.

If you don’t have a spouse or partner, reach out to a trusted friend or family member when you need help. And don’t underestimate the value of community—whether it’s a church group or an online parenting forum, support is always available if you’re willing to ask.

One thing I’ll add here, as someone who has been on the receiving end of being that trusted friend or family member, is this: don’t take that person for granted. A heartfelt “thank you” is a great start and far better than nothing, but consider going a step further. Just because they love you and want to help doesn’t mean they aren’t setting aside their own responsibilities to assist you. Show your appreciation in tangible ways to honor their generosity and the effort they’ve made to support you.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Balancing work, parenting, and personal time isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about celebrating the small wins that keep you moving forward.

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to overlook small accomplishments. But each goal reached—no matter how small—is progress. Whether it’s finishing a work project, sneaking in a quiet cup of tea, or getting the kids to bed on time, these moments matter. Acknowledging them reminds you that you’re doing enough, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Conclusion

Finding balance isn’t about fitting everything into one perfect day. It’s about creating harmony over time. By planning, setting boundaries, and giving yourself grace, you can make space for work, family, and yourself without burning out.

You don’t have to be superhuman to be successful. Success doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly—it means showing up, giving your best, and not neglecting yourself in the process. YOU matter. And trust me, your family sees and appreciates all that you do, even on the days when you don’t feel like you’ve done enough.

How do you manage the juggling act of work, parenting, and personal time? Share your tips with us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com or Facebook and subscribe to our blog for more insights on navigating the chaos of family life.

Faith and Family

How to Manage Parenting Stress During the Holidays

by Denise Wright

The holidays are a magical time, but let’s be honest—they can also make it difficult to manage parenting stress, inevitably taking things to a whole new level. Between coordinating schedules, shopping for gifts, and managing the inevitable sugar-induced meltdowns, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But don’t worry—you’re not alone, and there are ways to handle the chaos while still enjoying the season.

1. Plan Ahead to Tame Holiday Stress

One of the best ways to start managing stress is to get ahead of the chaos. Use a family calendar or planner to organize events, shopping lists, and meal plans. When everything is written down, it’s easier to see what’s coming up and avoid last-minute panic.

This is something Matt and I have started doing since being back in Oklahoma, living with family especially. Not only do we need to keep track of our own lives, but on occasion, we have to keep up with my parents as well. It’s hard for anyone, let alone busy parents to remember all the things! We started using the See It Bigger Padfolio Planner to help us stay on track with everything from shower schedules to doctor appointments. We can replace the insert every year which makes it convenient. Don’t make it harder than it has to be. Work smarter, not harder! Anything you can do to help manage parenting stress should be a top priority in my opinion!

2. Simplify Your Gift-Giving

You don’t have to do it all! Stick to a simple gift-giving formula, like the popular “Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read.” This not only reduces holiday stress but also keeps the budget in check.

I enjoy giving gifts, but don’t you dare ask me what I want or need because I don’t have a clue! As a mom, I’m always thinking about what everyone else wants or needs. I used to get so irritated with my mom when I was younger and would ask her to tell me what she wanted for Christmas or her birthday. She’d say, “I have no idea.” Now here I am… Mrs. I have no idea Jr.

However, when I’m stuck I enjoy visiting Etsy. There is always something there for everyone! I’d tell you what we’re getting the kids and each other… but we all read this blog. So I won’t spoil any surprises. 😉

3. Take Breaks to Recharge

As parents, we’re often so focused on making the holidays perfect for everyone else that we forget about ourselves. Schedule small breaks for self-care—even if it’s just 10 minutes to enjoy a cup of tea or read a book.

For Matt and me, living in someone else’s home makes it challenging to find a quiet space. So, we’ve turned our bedroom into a little getaway suite, complete with my Xbox and TV and Matt’s gaming PC. Most evenings, after the kids are asleep, we unwind together by playing our favorite games and chatting about our day.

It’s honestly my favorite time of the day—especially now that Matt added a wax warmer to his desk that looks like a miniature fire burning! It sets such a cozy, relaxing mood in the room and fills the air with all the holiday scents we love.

4. Delegate and Ask for Help

Remember, you don’t have to do everything alone. Enlist your partner, kids, or extended family to pitch in with decorating, wrapping, or cooking. Sharing the load can reduce parenting stress significantly. Which reminds me… If I don’t put up the kids’ miniature Christmas tree this weekend for them to decorate, they might never let me live it down!

This week in Children’s Church the kids’ teacher brought them each these scratch art ornaments to design however they wanted. I was blown away when my 11-year-old son brought his ornament to show me after church. Nobody suggested to him what to scratch into this ornament, but they had just been learning about the Virgin Mary and her Virgin birth. Didn’t the kids do such a good job?!

5. Prioritize Family Time

It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness, but some of the most cherished memories are the simplest ones. Set aside time for family traditions, like baking cookies or watching a favorite holiday movie together. These moments can ease holiday stress and bring joy to everyone. Do what works for you and your family.

My mother is great about pulling the kids into the kitchen to help her bake cookies. She’s already started her holiday baking spree to hand out trays of cookies to her neighbors. DO NOT touch the cookies. That’s a really difficult thing to do when she so rudely makes it smell like a holiday baker’s market in here. I prefer to do things outside of the kitchen with my kids because the kitchen is my space. HA! This is how I manage parenting stress. I avoid moments that are bound to cause me stress because I know myself pretty well.

Haven’t developed any of your own family traditions for the holidays? I’ll let you borrow one of ours! We love going to our local grocery store and picking up a gingerbread house-making kit to do together. We’ve even been known to order a special kit online a time or two. Check out this adorable gingerbread barn. Or if you’re like me and aren’t a fan of the taste of gingerbread… this chocolate cookie house is a must!

6. Keep Expectations Realistic

Not everything has to be perfect. The tree doesn’t need to look like it belongs in a magazine, and it’s okay if the cookies come out a little burnt. Embrace the imperfections—they’re often the moments you’ll laugh about later.

This is one I’m still working on, to be honest. My nerves and OCD get the better of me. Not gonna lie, I’ve been refraining from adjusting the garland on my mother’s Christmas tree because it isn’t evenly placed toward the bottom. THE GAP IS TO MUCH! I digress. As I was saying… not everything has to be perfect. HA!

Pro-tip: maybe write that on your hand this holiday season so you don’t forget.

7. Focus on Gratitude

During the hectic moments of the holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of to-do lists, gift shopping, and family gatherings. But when you feel overwhelmed, take a step back and reflect on what truly matters—what you’re grateful for. The holidays are about so much more than the presents we give or receive; they’re about celebrating the ultimate gift given to all of us—the birth of Jesus Christ.

This season is an opportunity to remember God’s incredible love for us, demonstrated in the gift of His Son, who came to bring hope, joy, and salvation. Share this profound truth with your family as you talk about what you’re thankful for. Encourage your kids to think about the blessings in their lives and how they can share that same love and kindness with others.

By grounding your family in gratitude and focusing on the real reason for the season, you can create a holiday filled with meaning, connection, and joy. After all, it’s not about the gifts under the tree, but the gift of grace that was given to us all. ✨

Closing Thoughts to Manage Parenting Stress

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be memorable. If you think about it, your most memorable holiday moments probably weren’t these grand expensive gestures. But the simple smell of Grandma baking a card table full of homemade pies or riding on your brand new bean bag down the basement stairs with your siblings hoping mom doesn’t stop you.

By taking a step back, planning ahead, and prioritizing what truly matters, you can enjoy the season while keeping parenting stress at bay. Remember, the best gift you can give your family is a happy, present version of yourself.

If these tips resonate with you, share your own strategies for managing parenting stress during the holidays by sending us a quick email to contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com. Let’s navigate this season together!

From Our Family Experiment to yours… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Family Traditions
Faith and Family

The Importance of Building Strong Family Traditions

by Denise Wright

Family traditions are more than just routines—they’re the threads that weave together a family’s identity. From simple rituals like Friday movie nights to elaborate holiday celebrations, traditions help create a sense of belonging, stability, and love within a family. They remind us of who we are and what we stand for, even amidst life’s constant changes.

In this post, we’ll explore why building traditions is vital for family stability and share tips for creating meaningful rituals that your family will cherish for generations.

Why Are Family Traditions So Important?

1. They Create a Sense of Belonging

Family traditions provide a sense of connection that strengthens family bonds. Whether it’s a weekly Sunday dinner or an annual camping trip, these consistent practices remind everyone that they are part of something bigger.

In today’s world, the concept of family is being redefined in ways that often stray from its biblical roots. The family unit, as God designed it, is foundational to society—a husband and wife committed to one another, raising children in love and faith. Yet, modern culture often diminishes the importance of this sacred institution, promoting ideas that normalize divorce for reasons like “falling out of love” or redefining family in ways that stray from biblical teachings.

This shift can lead to confusion, instability, and the loss of the deep meaning and purpose God intended for families. Family traditions rooted in biblical principles help ground us in God’s design, creating a firm foundation that honors His plan and provides a sense of security and identity for children.

2. They Promote Family Stability

Traditions offer a comforting sense of predictability, which becomes especially valuable during times of change or uncertainty. Children thrive on routine, and knowing certain traditions will always be there provides a sense of security and stability.

Simple rituals, like a bedtime routine or a family holiday tradition, can serve as anchors, offering comfort and reassurance even during the most challenging times.

During one period when we lived with my parents, our kids shared a room with a bunk bed. We developed a nightly routine together: family devotion, prayer, and lights out. Our prayers were heartfelt moments where we asked God to watch over each child, bless them with restful sleep, and give them sweet dreams. When we eventually moved into our own home and the kids had their own rooms again, they wouldn’t let me get away with praying for just one of them. They insisted on hearing me pray for each other in their separate rooms. Addison would remind me, “Mommy, you didn’t pray for Bubba.” “Of course, I did… when I tucked Bubba into bed,” I’d respond.

This small tradition became a meaningful way for our children to feel connected, both to their family and to God. It wasn’t just about routine; it was about the love, faith, and reassurance that our prayers symbolized. Moments like these show the lasting impact of traditions—they provide stability in uncertain times and create a legacy of connection and care that children carry with them for years to come.

3. They Pass Down Values and Culture

Family traditions are a powerful way to instill values and share cultural heritage. By involving your kids in meaningful rituals—whether it’s holiday celebrations, cherished family recipes, or cozy storytelling nights—you’re passing down a part of who you are. These moments teach your children about respect, gratitude, and love while ensuring your family’s legacy continues for generations.

When Matt and I got married, we quickly realized our family traditions couldn’t have been more different. Now and then, I’ll share a story about a tradition from my family or a quirky habit of one of my siblings. Without fail, Matt will respond with, “Yep, we were definitely raised by two very different sets of parents.”

I grew up in a Christian home. My father, a minister, and retired pastor, and my mother who still embodies the role of the quintessential pastor’s wife—creative, compassionate, and always brimming with ideas, even as she works tirelessly to help others while maintaining a full-time secular job. Sitting still isn’t her strong suit; she’s always busy, often worrying about everyone else’s needs.

Matt, on the other hand, grew up in a non-Christian home where drinking, cussing, and a more casual approach to family life were the norm.

Despite these differences, one thing remains constant: both of our families have traditions. Over the years, we’ve taken pieces from each of our upbringings and blended them into something uniquely ours. These combined traditions have become the foundation of what we pass on to our children—traditions we hope they will carry forward to their own families one day, Lord willing.

How to Build Meaningful Family Traditions

1. Start Simple

You don’t need elaborate plans or a big budget to build family traditions. Start with something small and meaningful, like a game night, a monthly picnic, or a “family gratitude jar.”

The key is consistency—make it something your family looks forward to and can rely on.

ome of our family traditions that come to mind are simple yet deeply meaningful. For example, every Thanksgiving, Matt insists on having his mother’s cornbread dressing. It’s a recipe he cherishes, especially now that his mom has passed. Making it each year is more than just preparing a dish—it’s a way of honoring her memory and keeping her presence alive during the holidays.

Another cherished tradition is letting the kids pick out a new Christmas ornament every year for the tree. It’s a small tradition, but over time, our tree has become a timeline of memories. Each ornament tells a story—what they were interested in that year, or even a reminder of the season of life we were in as a family. Unboxing those ornaments every December is like taking a stroll through a scrapbook of our lives.

Even our dogs are included in our family traditions! Every year, for each of their birthdays, we take them to PetSmart. The kids look forward to this just as much as the dogs do. It’s become a ritual: we let them pick out a new toy and a special treat, and the joy it brings is something we all share.

These traditions, while seemingly small, weave together the fabric of our family life. They offer comfort, joy, and a sense of continuity—reminding us of the value of honoring the past while creating new memories together.

2. Get Everyone Involved

The best family traditions are those that reflect everyone’s interests and personalities. Ask your family members for ideas and ensure that everyone has a say.

For instance, let each person choose a favorite meal for family dinner night or pick a holiday activity that everyone can enjoy together.

One tradition my mother started, and that I’ve continued with my own family, is letting everyone choose their favorite dinner and dessert for their birthday meal. This tradition often means I’m cooking up a storm in the kitchen—unless, of course, it’s my own birthday. On my special day, we usually end up going out to eat, or on rare occasions, Matt will step in and take over the kitchen, cooking or grilling something I love. It’s a fun and meaningful tradition that makes each birthday feel extra special.

3. Make It Unique

Traditions don’t have to follow societal norms—they should reflect what makes your family unique. Whether it’s creating a yearly playlist for your family or hosting a “family awards night” to celebrate each other’s accomplishments, building traditions that are truly yours adds an extra layer of meaning.

Growing up in tornado-prone Oklahoma, my family’s favorite movie was Twister. We can quote it word for word, and by the end of the movie, you’ll either be wondering what’s wrong with us or be completely sucked in—just like the “suck zone”! Now, after 13 years of being part of my family, my husband has embraced our quirky hand gestures and sayings, all of which stemmed from that film.

We always thought our traditions—rooted in Twister—were uniquely ours, until one day my dad saw a friend of his doing the exact same things with his own kids. That’s when we realized Twister had made its way into more families than we realized!

4. Be Flexible

While consistency is important, I’ve learned that flexibility is what truly allows traditions to grow and evolve with our family. As the kids get older and circumstances change, I’ve come to realize that being open to adjusting our rituals helps keep them meaningful and enjoyable. It’s the adaptability that allows these traditions to stay relevant and continue bringing us together.

For example, our bedtime story routine, which was once a nightly ritual when the kids were younger, has naturally shifted over time. While we still enjoy reading together, it’s also become a time for us to share more personal moments, like praying for each other or talking about our day. As the kids get older, the stories and conversations we have together become richer, and it’s been wonderful to watch them evolve.

Adapting Traditions to Grow with Your Family

Another example of how we adjust traditions is how we celebrate birthdays. When the kids were younger, it was all about the party and the toys, but now that they’re getting older, we’re finding that we prefer to focus on spending quality time together. Whether it’s doing something special like volunteering or simply reflecting on the past year, our birthday celebrations are becoming more about connection and creating lasting memories, rather than just gifts and parties.

I think the flexibility in our traditions also reflects the blend of both mine and Matt’s backgrounds. We’ve both brought pieces of our own family traditions into ours, and the way we’ve combined them has made them even more meaningful. As our children grow, the traditions we’ve started together evolve too. Something as simple as our bedtime prayers, which once focused on the comfort of routine, now reflects our children’s personalities and needs, and it’s beautiful to see how they contribute their own ideas to it.

Flexibility ensures that the traditions we’ve built will continue to hold significance in the years to come, no matter how much our family changes. It allows us to celebrate who we are and how we’ve grown, while still keeping that same foundation of love, faith, and connection.

Examples of Family Traditions to Build Stability

  • Weekly Rituals: Family game night, movie night, or a special breakfast.
  • Seasonal Activities: Picking pumpkins in the fall, decorating the Christmas tree, or summer beach trips.
  • Milestone Celebrations: Celebrating birthdays with handwritten letters or hosting a “first day of school” photo tradition.
  • Faith-Based Practices: Attending worship services together, reading devotionals, or participating in service projects as a family.
  • Cultural Celebrations: Honoring heritage through recipes, stories, or traditional festivities.

Traditions Create Lifelong Memories

The importance of family traditions goes beyond the present moment. They become the stories your children will tell, the practices they’ll carry forward, and the moments they’ll treasure long after they leave home.

By intentionally building traditions, you’re giving your family the gift of stability, love, and a shared identity. In a constantly changing world, these rituals remind us of the strength and beauty of family.

What Are Your Family Traditions?
We’d love to hear about the traditions that make your family unique. Share them with us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com!

grounded in parenting
Faith and Family

5 Ways to Stay Grounded During Parenting Challenges

by Denise Wright

Parenting is one of life’s greatest joys, but it’s also one of its toughest challenges. There are days when nothing seems to go as planned—tantrums erupt, schedules fall apart, and patience is tested to its limits. Staying grounded during parenting challenges is crucial for your peace of mind and your family’s well-being. Here are five tips we try to follow to help navigate the tough times with grace and resilience.

1. Start with Self-Care to Stay Grounded in Parenting

It’s easy to put yourself last when juggling the demands of family life. However, neglecting self-care can leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed. Even small steps like walking, journaling, or spending five quiet minutes can make a big difference. And let’s be honest—we’ve all escaped to the bathroom behind a locked door at least once! We parents do what we gotta do to stay grounded in parenting. Am I right?

The truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If your cup is empty, no one is going to be happy.

Tip for parents: Schedule self-care moments like an appointment you can’t miss. When you care for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to tackle parenting challenges.

2. Lean on Your Support System

Parenting isn’t meant to be done alone. A spouse, family member, friend, or fellow parent can be invaluable when you need advice or simply a listening ear.

I’ll admit, as a wife and mother, it’s not always easy to be on the listening end when my spouse vents. I’ve failed countless times by taking his words too personally. But I’ve learned that he needs the same things I do—grace, understanding, and a safe space to say, “I’m overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overworked.”

Stay grounded: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s delegating tasks or venting to someone who understands, leaning on others can lighten the load.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

Parenting throws curveballs—unexpected meltdowns missed appointments, or sudden changes in plans. Instead of stressing over what’s out of your control, focus on what you can manage.

For example, you might not be able to stop your child’s tantrum immediately, but you can control your response—calm and empathetic instead of reactive.

I often remind myself that kids are still learning how to handle their emotions and anxieties. I’m almost 35 years old, and I’m still learning how to cope with my anxieties. Our kids deserve the same respect we demand from them.

Just today, my kids were arguing over something trivial because neither was truly listening to the other. I finally said, “Guys, slow down and listen to each other. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s called respect—try it.”

Parenting challenges become less overwhelming when you focus on your actions rather than the external chaos.

4. Practice Gratitude in the Chaos

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to lose sight of the good. Taking a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for can shift your perspective. Gratitude doesn’t erase challenges, but it helps you focus on the bigger picture.

I often watch my kids and reflect on growing up with my brothers. After losing my older brother when I was nine, I tell my kids often, “What I’d give for just one more minute with him. Don’t waste time arguing over things that won’t matter tomorrow.”

At the end of the day, family is what matters most. Challenges are just a part of life, but we have so much to be thankful for.

Tip for parents: Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down three things each day that brought you joy, no matter how small. For example:

  1. I had an amazing sandwich at lunch.
  2. The kids and I shared a hilarious moment of uncontrollable laughter.
  3. I spent a peaceful moment admiring the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree.

5. Turn to Faith and Reflection to Stay Grounded in Parenting

For many parents, faith provides strength during hard times. Prayer, meditation, or reading scripture can bring peace amidst the chaos and help keep you grounded in parenting. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Even on the hardest days, your efforts are building a foundation for your child’s future.

If you’re unsure how to lean on faith or want to learn more about having a relationship with God, we’d love to help. Reach out to us—we’d be honored to walk with you on this journey.

Stay grounded: Reflect on the values you want to instill in your children. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

Remember, Challenges Are Temporary

No matter how tough parenting feels right now, it won’t last forever. By staying grounded, you’ll help yourself and model resilience for your kids. Parenting challenges test us, but they also provide opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

What’s Your Go-To Tip?
How do you stay grounded during parenting challenges? We’d love to hear your insights—share them with us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com!

Family Bonding

10 Tips for Strengthening Family Bonds

by Denise Wright

Family bonds are the glue that holds us together through life’s highs and lows. A close, connected family doesn’t happen by accident—it’s built through intentional actions, shared moments, and consistent love. In a world full of distractions, making time for each other and prioritizing these connections is more important than ever.

Here are 10 simple but powerful tips for strengthening family bonds and fostering a deeper connection with your loved ones.

1. Prioritize Family Time

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to let family time take a backseat. Make it a point to schedule regular moments together, whether it’s a family game night, Sunday dinner, or a quick walk around the neighborhood. These moments create shared memories and strengthen relationships. 

At my (Denise’s) mother’s house, she has weekly family dinners for the entire family. We come, eat, and hang out! It’s usually very loud and by the time it’s all over Matt and I in our introvertedness are ready for peace in our bedroom, (since we are living here with my parents), but are thankful for the time we got to spend with everyone.

Scheduling regular family activities creates shared memories and strengthens relationships. Here are some of our family’s favorite board games and video games:

2. Practice Open Communication

Encourage open, honest, and respectful conversations with your family. Create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “What’s something you’re excited about right now?” If you are like me and have trouble with small talk or just starting the conversation, I’ve found that TableTopics has a Family edition of their conversation starter cards and they are SO helpful!

This is easy with our daughter because she has the gift of gab. You best be prepared for a long drawn-out answer from her. Not to mention half a dozen rabbit trails. However, these types of questions are overwhelming to Ethan. He’s like his momma. The spoken word terrifies me. I’d rather be writing. Otherwise, I better have a script or an idea of what I need to say before I say it. He will answer these types of questions, it just takes him a bit longer. So patience is key!

3. Unplug and Be Present

Technology is a wonderful tool, but it can also be a major distraction. Set aside time to unplug from devices and focus solely on each other. Whether it’s during meals or designated family hours, being present helps deepen your connection.

This is easier said than done. Can you imagine the look my husband and I give each other when one of us grounds the kids from their devices!? Like… “What have you done? Now they will be all over us and constantly seeking our attention because they are bored!” All jokes aside though, it is important to unplug. We will often take short drives just to get out of the house. Go to the park. Get our favorite drinks from Sonic. When it’s warm, take the drone and RC cars out in the cul-de-sac and play! 

It really doesn’t matter how glamorous the activity… what matters is just being in the moment. Don’t let your kids remember you by how much time your face was glued to your phone or computer. Not only are you an example, but you are THE main example impacting the very core of their being. And your children will be affected by what you do or do not do. Be there in every way. Mentally and physically.

4. Create Family Traditions

Traditions, big or small, give your family something special to look forward to. It could be baking cookies every Christmas, having pizza on Friday nights, or taking a yearly camping trip. These rituals create lasting memories and give your family a sense of identity.

For us, especially around the holidays, it’s shooting the BB gun on Thanksgiving at whatever target we can grab. Mostly sheets of paper on a box, but occasionally momma’s rotten pumpkin decor. Or how we go out every year and let the kids pick out a new Christmas ornament to put on the tree.

Traditions might seem small and insignificant, but over time, they add up. And years from now your children will be sitting around with their children reminiscing about their childhood. What do you want them to remember or carry on with them when you are gone?

Establishing rituals fosters a sense of identity. Ideas include:

Personalized Ornaments: Allowing each family member to choose or create an ornament annually adds personal significance to holiday traditions.

Holiday Craft Kits: Creating decorations together can become a cherished tradition.

5. Show Gratitude and Appreciation

Take time to recognize and celebrate each other. A simple “Thank you” or “I’m proud of you” goes a long way in strengthening family bonds. Encourage your kids to do the same with their siblings and other family members.

Our daughter is constantly drawing something new. And over the last year, she has amazed me as she learns and develops new ways to draw and color things. Just recently she asked for new crayons because she wanted to be able to add texture to her drawings. Texture!? Okay!

It’s really easy to passively say, “Oh that looks good.” and then go about my day. But it’s really important to stop for the whole 1 to 2 minutes it might take to really look at what your child has done and actually commend them for a job well done. And being the artsy mom I am, even give her a couple of tips here and there.

This shows two things. 1. I see you, I hear you, I love you, and I’m proud of you. And 2. I want you to feel seen, heard, loved, and proud of yourself!

Expressing thanks strengthens bonds. Tools to facilitate this:

Recognition Boards: A family bulletin board to post achievements and positive notes to celebrate individual contributions.

Gratitude Journals: Encourage family members to document daily appreciation, fostering a culture of gratitude.

6. Pray Together

Prayer is a powerful way to bring your family closer, not just to each other but also to God. Whether it’s a daily family prayer, grace before meals, or coming together during tough times, prayer helps create a foundation of faith and unity. For our family, we pray every night before bedtime. If the kids sleep over anywhere or we are ever away, they expect our bedtime routine to continue regardless.

7. Serve Each Other and Others

Acts of service within your family build mutual respect and love. Helping a sibling with their homework or surprising your spouse with a chore they dislike shows care. Additionally, serving others as a family—through volunteering or donating—teaches compassion and reinforces your shared values. 

This year Addison has learned about Angel Trees and really has the heart and desire to be a blessing to a little girl her age this year for Christmas. So we are planning on adopting a child to buy a Christmas gift for through the Tulsa Salvation Army.

It’s a small thing to us, and the least we could do, but it’s also something we are trying to teach our children. Jesus wants us to care for the homeless, the orphans, the widows, etc. So we are teaching them to be like Jesus. 

8. Learn and Grow Together

Make learning a family affair. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe, taking a class, or working on a DIY project, shared experiences help your family grow closer. Plus, it’s a fun way to create memories and discover new talents together.

Back in June of 2024 and then again in November, I (Denise) had surgeries on both of my elbows. Which meant I needed help in places like the kitchen and making dinners. Don’t get me wrong… takeout was our friend. Ha! But when we just wanted a home-cooked meal instead, the kids, and even Matt got to be my hands and listen to instructions as I taught them how to make something. Whether by scratch or from a box. It led to some pretty funny moments, and even a few… ugh just let me do it moments as well!

9. Practice Forgiveness

No family is perfect, and disagreements are inevitable. What matters is how you handle them. Practice forgiveness, both giving and receiving, and teach your children the importance of apologizing when they’re wrong. Forgiveness fosters peace and keeps relationships strong.

I’m (Denise) terrible at accepting responsibility for my mistakes. I can only assume this is due to how I was raised. Perhaps I just didn’t pick up this life skill early on. Who knows? I avoid confrontation at all costs. I beat myself up when I mess up more than anybody I upset possibly could.

But as I continue to grow up and life presents more and more opportunities to get it right, I’m maturing and learning that how you respond to situations matters. As I listen to the way my children respond to each other and other people sometimes, I’m constantly reminded of the example I’m being. Which pushes me to beat myself up as a parent, but then try my hardest to be better tomorrow.

10. Celebrate Each Other’s Strengths

Each family member brings something unique to the table. Take time to recognize and celebrate individual talents, achievements, and qualities. This not only boosts self-esteem but also reminds your family how much they’re loved and valued.

Matt is so good and explaining things. He remembers everything and I’m often jealous of the way his mind operates. This allows him to be the amazing writer he is, and what will allow him to achieve his goal of publishing his first fiction book in the coming months!

I’m artsy. I could design things all day long and be completely content. I might have gotten my kids hooked on Minecraft for the simple joy of being able to create something while also spending time with the kids. 😉

Ethan is in that stage where he’s trying to figure out what to do with himself. He’s good at a lot of things. But his favorite thing to date is gaming. And he can tell you everything you need to know about Minecraft, Ark, and Fallout.

Addison is so smart. I’m convinced she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up. My dad has been teaching her Spanish and she’s picking it up so quickly. She loves gaming too, but she’s especially fond of crafting and drawing!

Building a Legacy of Love

Family bonds don’t strengthen overnight—they’re built one moment, one choice, and one intentional act at a time. By prioritizing love, respect, and faith, you’re not just creating a happier home—you’re building a legacy of connection and trust that will last for generations.

Which of these tips do you want to try in your family? We’d love to hear how you strengthen family bonds! Share your thoughts and stories by emailing us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com. Together, we can inspire each other to create closer, more connected families.

Faith and Family

The Role of Faith in Our Parenting Journey

by Denise Wright

Parenting is an adventure—a messy, beautiful, and transformative journey that shapes not just our children but also ourselves. Through every joy and challenge, our faith has been the anchor that keeps us grounded. Even during the season when we put God on the back burner for nearly a year, He remained faithfully nearby, patiently waiting for us to turn back to Him. Parenting with faith isn’t just a choice for our family; it’s the foundation of everything we do.

Just as we love it when our kids come to us, asking for things we already know they want or need, God delights in the same from us. Why? Because it’s about communication, love, and respect. It shows trust and humility. Though God knows our needs and even the desires of our hearts, He longs for us to bring them to Him in prayer.

The Early Days: Learning to Trust

When we first became parents, we thought we had everything figured out. We’d read the books, listened to advice, and made detailed plans about how we wanted to raise our children. “We’ll do things differently than our parents!” we told ourselves. But then life happened. Sleepless nights, unexpected health challenges, and moments of complete exhaustion quickly showed us the limits of our own strength.

My mom always says, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans!” And she’s right. In those moments of weakness, we learned to lean on God. Proverbs 3:5-6 became our lifeline:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”

Our family’s success wasn’t about having all the answers—it was about trusting the One who does.

Faith as Our Foundation

In a world that often feels chaotic, Christian parenting provides clarity and direction. Our faith shapes how we approach discipline, the values we instill in our kids, and the way we handle family challenges. We strive to model Christ’s love, grace, and forgiveness in our home—not perfectly, but intentionally.

The other day, Matt told our son, Ethan, “It’s Mom and Dad’s job to help mold you into the person you’re going to be when you’re grown. That isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. Because we want the world for you. We want you to be better than us.”

One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned is that faith is caught, not just taught. Our children are watching how we live, not just what we say. Do we pray when things get hard? Show kindness to others? Admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness? These daily actions shape the role of faith in our family.

When Matt or I make mistakes that affect our children, we go to them, admit our fault, and apologize. Why? Because if we expect respect from our children, we must show respect to them. Do unto others, right? This is called, “Leading by example.” Just as Christ led a life that we are to mimic to the best of our ability, and learn from the lessons he has given us in His word.

I’ll never forget the time our daughter asked us a question, and we responded with, “Yes, ma’am,” before providing instructions. A family member overheard and asked, “Why are you saying ‘ma’am’ to your daughter?!” Caught off guard by their surprise, I replied with an obvious, “Because I want my daughter to respect me because she deserves the same respect as a person.”

Handling Challenges with Faith

Parenting isn’t always easy. Financial struggles, relationship tensions, and the pressures of modern life can feel overwhelming. But our faith reminds us we’re not walking this road alone.

Philippians 4:13 is a promise we hold onto: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

We’ve been teaching our children to turn to prayer when they’re scared, frustrated, or unsure of what to do. It’s a simple but powerful habit that will strengthen their own walk with God.

Building a Legacy of Faith

Our ultimate goal as parents isn’t just to raise happy, well-adjusted kids—it’s to raise children who know and love the Lord. We want our family to be a light in a dark world, showing others the hope and peace that come from parenting with faith.

This means prioritizing spiritual practices, like family devotions, prayer, and attending church together. It also means being honest about our own struggles. We openly admit failures and mistakes to our kids, showing them how we take the next steps to overcome them. Why? Because the best way to teach resilience is to model it.

How will our children know we’ve overcome challenges if we never tell them what we’ve faced? How will they see God’s power in our lives if we don’t share how He’s helped us through? Life isn’t a bed of roses, and we want our kids to see how faith equips us to navigate the thorns.

Encouragement for Your Journey

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that you don’t have to be perfect to parent with faith. God doesn’t call us to be flawless; He calls us to be faithful.

No matter where you are in your parenting journey, remember that God sees you, knows you, and loves you. Lean on Him for wisdom, strength, and patience. Surround yourself with a community of believers who can encourage you. And trust that, through every trial and triumph, He is shaping you into the parent your children need.

What’s Your Story?

How has faith shaped your parenting journey? We’d love to hear your stories! Share your thoughts by emailing us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com. Together, we can encourage and uplift one another as we navigate this beautiful adventure of Christian parenting—one experiment at a time.

Parenting Challenges

5 Parenting Lessons We’ve Learned the Hard Way

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a journey of joy, love, and growth—but also one filled with unexpected hurdles. Over the years, we’ve faced plenty of family challenges that taught us parenting lessons we couldn’t have learned any other way. While we didn’t always handle things perfectly (and still don’t), each experience helped shape us into the parents we are today and continues to shape us into the parents we will be tomorrow. Every day, we strive to be better than we were yesterday.

Here are five parenting lessons we’ve learned the hard way, hoping they’ll encourage you on your parenting journey.

1. Always Put God First

This is a lesson we’ve learned (and relearned) time and time again. Early in our parenting journey, we made the mistake of thinking we could do it all on our own. But when the family challenges piled up—financial stress, health scares, and emotional struggles—we realized that everything falls apart when we put God second.

Now, we wake up reminding ourselves that if we keep God before us, nothing can stand against us. We lean on our faith during tough times and teach our children that God is the ultimate provider. Does that mean we’ve mastered this thing called life and nothing ever goes wrong? Absolutely not! But it does mean that when the day inevitably brings heartache, stress, and the great unknown—like your kids calling out for you for the 100th time in the last 10 minutes while you’re trying desperately to have your own thoughts (too specific?)—God is there. He’s already in tomorrow before we even take our first waking breath.

Parenting lessons don’t always come easy, but this one is foundational to our family’s growth.

Integrating faith into our daily routine has been transformative. Here are some resources that have helped us:

Children’s Bibles: Our Daily Bread is engaging and accessible for kids, making scripture reading and devotion time a shared family joy.

Family Devotional Books: The Kingdom Family Devotional by Tony Evans offers 52 weeks of insightful devotions tailored for families.

2. Quality Time Matters More Than Perfect Plans

We used to think that parenting success was measured by how many picture-perfect moments we could create. But some of our most meaningful family memories have come from the simplest things: a heartfelt conversation at bedtime, a spontaneous game night, or a walk around the neighborhood. These moments are the ones that will be remembered and cherished for years to come.

I once heard a story about a tombstone with only a name and a single line, no dates. When asked why, the family replied, “Because the moment you leave this earth, the only thing that matters is what you did while you were here. It’s the time in between.”

We learned this lesson by burning ourselves out trying to do it all. Now, we focus on presence over perfection, knowing that what our kids truly need is our time and attention. Not every gadget or toy they think they need, but us. Our job is to raise decent human beings who will one day grow into adults, Lord willing, just like you and me. Yikes—no pressure, right?

We’ve found that simple, shared activities often create the most cherished memories. Here are some of our favorites:

Outdoor Activities: Ladderball is an easy game that gets everyone outside and laughing together.

Board Games: Apples to Apples is a family favorite in our house. It always brings laughter to the table and it’s pretty easy for kids but still enjoyable for adults!

3. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

One of the hardest parenting lessons to learn is that you can’t do it all alone. There have been several challenging seasons—including the one we’re in now—where we’ve found ourselves needing to rely on family for support. In fact, we’ve lived with family more than we haven’t during the 12 years we’ve been married. While humbling, it teaches us the value of community and how asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re human.

My father always says, “That’s what family is for!” And he’s right. Yes, it’s humbling. Yes, it requires swallowing your pride. But whether it’s leaning on extended family, friends, or your faith community, never hesitate to seek support when life feels overwhelming.

Building a support network is crucial. These resources have been invaluable:

Parenting Books: Gary Chapman has a variety of books in the self-help genre called “The 5 Love Languages” that have helped us understand and meet our kids’ emotional needs. Whether you have young children or teenagers, he has books to cover each individually, not to mention one for men and women!

4. Mistakes Are Opportunities to Grow

We’ve made plenty of life and parenting mistakes, from flipping a coin to make big decisions to losing our patience and failing to set clear boundaries. But through every misstep, we’ve learned that the goal isn’t perfection—it’s being present and willing to grow.

Every challenge, argument, and tough decision is an opportunity to model resilience, forgiveness, and humility for our kids. After a particularly stressful incident a few months ago, we moved from Montana back to Oklahoma. We left most of our belongings 25 hours away in storage, bringing only the essentials as we moved in with my (Denise’s) parents. Mistakes brought us here. And while mistakes are part of life, they should never be forgotten; they help us learn and grow.

Just the other day, Ethan had a disagreement with his grandmother. He questioned her judgment rather than trusting her intent, which caused frustration all around. We want our kids to listen and obey, but sometimes we forget that they also face stresses and anxieties that they don’t yet know how to process. It’s our job to help them understand what they’re feeling and teach them how to navigate those situations in the future.

If we don’t, they could grow up like many of us adults today—riddled with anxieties we don’t know how to process. So, here’s a novel idea: listen to your kids and give them the same respect you hope to receive from them.

5. Consistency Is Key

Whether it’s bedtime routines, discipline, or family values, one of the most valuable parenting lessons we’ve learned is the importance of consistency. Kids thrive when they know what to expect, and that stability helps build trust and security.

But let’s be honest—staying consistent is hard. Life gets busy, and routines sometimes fall apart, especially when you’re not living in your own home. The key is to keep trying and remember that progress is better than perfection.

You’ve heard the adage, “Practice makes perfect.” In our house, we say, “Practice makes better.”

Conclusion

Parenting is one of life’s greatest adventures, filled with joys, struggles, and invaluable lessons. These five parenting lessons—putting God first, valuing quality time, asking for help, learning from mistakes, and staying consistent—have shaped and continue to shape our family in profound ways.

As you navigate your family challenges, we hope these insights encourage you to embrace the ups and downs of parenting with grace, humility, and faith.

What lessons have you learned the hard way? We’d love to hear your stories! Send us an email at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com.

Faith and Family

Why We Started Our Parenting Blog

by Denise Wright

Welcome to Our Family Experiment

We’re thrilled to share this space with you finally—a place where we can connect, encourage, and navigate the beautiful chaos of life and parenting together.

Starting this blog has been a dream of mine for a long time. Over the years, I’ve started several blogs for our family, but I’d abandon them whenever a stressful life event happened. I convinced myself that no one wanted to read about our struggles. But after countless late-night conversations with my husband, sleepless nights, and more than a few trial-and-error moments, we realized something powerful: hearing about other people’s stresses and how they overcame them has always been what inspired us to keep going.

That realization became the foundation for this blog. Here, we’ll share our story—including the messy, stressful moments—and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. We hope to inspire other parents to embrace the highs and lows of this unpredictable journey with grace and faith.

Why We Started This Blog

Parenting doesn’t come with a playbook (trust us, we’ve checked!). Over the years, we’ve faced our fair share of challenges—financial struggles, health scares, and seasons where we leaned heavily on the love and support of our family. Through it all, one thing has remained constant: our commitment to building a strong, faith-centered family.

Early in our marriage, we made a mistake we’ll never forget. We told ourselves, “We love God and church, but right now, we just need to focus on our family.” It didn’t take long for everything to crumble—finances, family dynamics, mental health, and even our faith. It was a mess. A mess Matt barely made it out of alive.

Thankfully, God’s grace showed up through my mother, who drove from Oklahoma and helped the four of us pack up and move from Kentucky to her home over the course of one weekend.

From that experience, we learned a crucial lesson: God should always come first. It’s a lesson we thought we had mastered, but as life threw more challenges our way, we realized how easy it is to momentarily forget just who our provider is.

Time and time again, we’ve been reminded that true peace comes from surrendering control and trusting God in every aspect of our lives. And while it hasn’t always been easy, it’s a lesson we’re finally starting to catch onto.

We want to share the real, unfiltered moments of family life—because let’s be honest, it’s not all picture-perfect smiles and Pinterest-worthy parties. It’s the messy mornings, heartfelt conversations, trials that test us, and quiet victories that make this journey meaningful.

What You Can Expect

This blog isn’t just about us—it’s about building a community where parents can find encouragement, practical advice, and maybe even a laugh or two. Here are some topics you can look forward to:

  • Faith-Based Parenting: Raising children with strong values and deep faith.
  • Creative Family Life Solutions: Tips for navigating chaos and finding balance in the midst of it all.
  • Stories of Resilience: Lessons we’ve learned through trials, triumphs, and God’s unending grace.

Whether you’re looking for help building family routines, navigating tough seasons, or simply need reassurance that you’re not alone, we hope Our Family Experiment becomes a source of encouragement and inspiration for you.

Our Mission

We’re here to remind you that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and that’s okay. Our mission is to share authentic stories, foster meaningful conversations, and create a space where parents can come as they are—messy, tired, and doing their best.

Join Us!

We’re so glad you’re here at the start of this journey. Whether you’re a seasoned parent or just beginning, we’d love to hear your stories, questions, and feedback. Let’s grow and learn together—one experiment at a time.