Family together, symbolizing the strength of rebuilding relationships and trust after challenges.
Faith and Family

Rebuilding After a Fall: How We’re Putting Our Family Back Together

by Denise Wright

Life has a way of humbling you when you least expect it. For years, we lived with purpose and a clear direction—or so we thought. Then, in what felt like a moment, everything shifted, leaving us scrambling to pick up the pieces. This post isn’t about tying everything up in a neat little bow. We’re still very much in the process of rebuilding our lives. But I want to share what this journey looks like—raw, messy, and real—and how we’re learning to grow as a family through it all.

The Moment It Fell Apart

For over two decades, Matt carried his minister’s license. It wasn’t just a credential; it represented his calling and became a cornerstone of our lives. In 2021, when we felt the Lord leading us to pastor a small church in Montana, it felt like everything was falling into place. Working for the Lord in that capacity was something we always wanted, filled with both challenges and triumphs.

But life rarely follows a straight path. In Montana, Matt made a mistake that cost him his license, shaking the foundation of our lives. The weight of that loss hit us hard, forcing him to confront questions he didn’t have answers to: Who was he without that identity? How could we move forward as a family?

As if that weren’t enough, financial struggles forced us to leave Montana and return to Oklahoma. The move felt like defeat, as if everything we had worked for had crumbled beneath us. Moving back in with my parents—something we’ve had to do more than once in our 12 years of marriage—required a level of humility we weren’t sure we had in us to summon yet again.

In those moments, we felt like failures—sometimes, we still do. But we’re learning to show ourselves the same grace the Lord so freely gives. It’s a daily process, but that grace is what keeps us holding on and moving forward.

Rebuilding is a Choice

Hitting rock bottom brings an overwhelming temptation to stay there. Letting the pain consume you feels easier than facing the daunting climb out. When we were isolated in Montana—far from family support and grappling with the aftermath of Matt’s mistake—the weight of it all felt suffocating, as if being consumed was inevitable.

For our family, though, staying down was not an option. We committed to making changes—not just to our circumstances, but to our hearts, priorities, and vision for the future. Matt’s mistake painfully exposed a disconnect between us that we could no longer ignore. Addressing that divide became a necessary part of rebuilding and moving forward.

Rebuilding Trust, One Step at a Time

When everything finally came to light, the revelation hit like a tidal wave. I hadn’t seen it coming, and the weight of it left me reeling. I found myself questioning how we had strayed so far off track and wondering what we could have done differently.

Healing wasn’t just about addressing the mistake itself—the loss of Matt’s license, the move, or the ripple effects on our family. It also forced us to confront the deep wound of broken trust. Knowing that something so significant had been hidden from me cut deeper than I was prepared for, and it created additional friction between us that we couldn’t ignore.

While Matt and I worked through the fallout in our own ways, I wrestled with feelings of betrayal and sadness. Rebuilding wasn’t just about moving forward; it became a process of repairing trust, piece by fragile piece. Hurt like that doesn’t fade overnight. It demands time, honesty, and an enormous amount of grace—for him, for myself, and for us together.

Even with the challenges, we chose to see this season as an opportunity—a chance to reset, refocus, and rebuild. The path hasn’t been easy, but it has required us to let go of the need to have all the answers and instead commit to taking one step at a time, one day at a time, always together.

What Rebuilding Looks Like for Us

Rebuilding isn’t glamorous. It’s messy, raw, and often filled with hard conversations and uncomfortable truths. There have been more tears than I can count. But even in the midst of all that, this season has also brought glimpses of grace, hope, and growth that remind us why we’re fighting to move forward.

Here’s what this journey looks like for us right now:

1. Focusing on Family First

Our family has become the foundation of everything we’re rebuilding. That means learning to show up for each other even when emotions are high and wounds are fresh. We’ve had to be intentional about creating routines that bring stability to our kids, even on days when Matt and I are struggling with our own emotions.

Open and honest communication has become non-negotiable. We talk with our kids about the challenges we’re facing in age-appropriate ways, and Matt and I are working hard to model what it looks like to face struggles together, with honesty and humility.

2. Rebuilding Trust in Our Marriage

The hardest part of this season has been the work Matt and I have done as a couple. Rebuilding trust after it breaks requires immense effort. The hurt cuts deep, and we’ve both had to confront it directly.

This process demands constant listening, unwavering honesty, and a shared commitment to rebuild our relationship piece by piece. Forgiveness isn’t something you choose once; it’s a decision we make every day. Some days feel easier than others, but we remain determined to move forward together, even when the path feels challenging.

The Hidden Struggles Behind the Scenes

Matt and I have been married for 12 years, a journey marked by highs, lows, and everything in between. The mistake that happened wasn’t small; it was the kind of event that can tear couples apart. To clarify, this wasn’t infidelity or anything of that sort. It stemmed from a series of poor financial decisions and compromised choices, made because Matt found himself in a position where he was forced to choose between meeting our family’s needs and doing what was right.

The pain it caused created distance, fueled resentment and brought heartbreak that seemed impossible to overcome.

These struggles often remain hidden from the outside world. To others, we might appear as though we have it all together. People assume everything is fine because we’ve learned how to show up, smile, and keep moving forward. The reality, however, is far different. There were moments when we were barely holding on—moments when the weight of it all felt crushing and left us questioning whether we could make it through.

Facing the Pain and Choosing to Stay

What made it even harder were the comments and beliefs tied to the idea that, as a married couple, we are “one.” While I respect and understand the biblical foundation of that unity, it was said that Matt’s mistake was my mistake too. But I can’t fully agree with that. His actions were his own, and while they deeply impacted us both, they weren’t something I caused or participated in. That belief added a layer of pain I wasn’t prepared for and made an already difficult situation even more complicated.

By the grace of God and the foundation laid by our upbringing, we somehow managed to hold it all together. But that doesn’t mean it was easy—far from it. There were moments when it felt like we were hanging on by a thread, moments when one or both of us thought about walking away. There were nights of silence, days filled with tension, and times when we wondered if we had anything left to give to each other.

Yet, through it all, we kept choosing to stay. To fight for what we had built. To believe that healing was possible, even when it felt out of reach. Holding it together didn’t mean pretending everything was perfect. It meant being willing to face the broken pieces and work together to rebuild them—no matter how messy or painful the process might be.

3. Setting Long-Term Goals

We have focused on moving forward by setting clear, tangible goals for the future. For us, this means achieving financial freedom, planning for a home of our own, and building a strong foundation for our kids’ futures.

The road ahead feels overwhelming at times. The distance between where we are and where we want to be can seem daunting. But these goals keep us grounded and provide a sense of direction. They give us something to work toward as a family, even when challenges arise.

This journey has also driven us to share openly about the raw, unfiltered reality of raising kids and navigating life’s hardships. Many versions of our story have been shared from different perspectives. While we understand those perspectives exist, we feel strongly about sharing our journey in our own voice.

Our intention is not to stir hurt or cause division but to offer honesty about where we are and how we are working to rebuild. Through transparency, we hope to encourage others who might feel alone in their struggles. If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that connection and healing come from stepping into the light, even when it feels uncomfortable.

4. Leaning Into Faith

Our faith has endured challenges we never anticipated. Trusting God as life falls apart hasn’t been easy, but it has grounded and anchored us throughout this season.

We place our trust in Him, even when the “why” remains unclear. Prayer and scripture provide daily reminders of His grace and strength, becoming essential for not only rebuilding our lives but also healing our hearts.

Matt and I have always leaned toward introversion, but the events we’ve faced have caused us to retreat even further. Letting people into our lives feels riskier now, knowing how easily relationships can unintentionally cause hurt. Right now, we are prioritizing what matters most: the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of our family and its future.

If we seem less present or show up differently than we once did, please know it’s not about anyone else. We are intentionally creating the space we need to heal and regroup as a family. This season demands our full attention, and we deeply appreciate the patience and understanding of those who care about us.

The Lessons We’re Learning

This season has been filled with hard-earned lessons:

  • Grace Matters: We’ve had to learn to extend grace to ourselves and each other. Mistakes don’t define us—how we choose to move forward does.
  • Humility Is a Gift: Living with my parents again has been humbling, but it’s also reminded us of the power of starting over with help.
  • Trust Takes Time: Rebuilding trust isn’t a quick process. It’s built through consistent actions, honesty, and a willingness to confront the hard stuff together.
  • Faith Isn’t Easy, but It’s Worth It: Trusting God through uncertainty is challenging, but it’s also what sustains us when everything else feels shaky.

A Work in Progress

We haven’t reached the finish line yet. Truthfully, I’m not even sure what the finish line looks like. What I do know is this: rebuilding doesn’t require perfection. It demands showing up every day, even when it’s hard. It’s about choosing hope over despair and consistently taking small, intentional steps forward.

If you’re in a season of rebuilding, remember—you’re not alone. The process is messy and painful, but it also holds the potential for growth, healing, and grace. Let’s navigate this journey together, one step at a time.

A Season of Healing and Hope

This season of life has been heavy, but it’s also been one of reflection, growth, and hope. We’re learning that rebuilding doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a series of small, deliberate steps. And while the process isn’t easy, it’s teaching us the value of grace, perseverance, and faith.

If you’re in a season of rebuilding, whether it’s your marriage, your family, or even just yourself, know that you’re not alone. Healing is possible, even in the messiest and most painful moments. Lean into grace, take it one step at a time, and remember that progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

Let’s keep the conversation going! If this post resonated with you, you might also find these resources helpful:

We’d love to hear from you—what’s been your greatest lesson in seasons of rebuilding? Share in the comments or connect with us through the links above. Together, we can find strength and encouragement for the journey ahead. ❤️

parent to parent
Family Bonding

How to Foster Open Communication with Your Kids: Parent-to-Parent Guide

by Denise Wright

Open communication is the foundation of a strong family bond, but as every parent knows, it’s far from easy. Navigating tough conversations and creating a safe space for kids to express themselves is a challenge we all face. That’s why we’re here to share practical, parent-to-parent tips for fostering honest dialogue within your family.

At Our Family Experiment, we pride ourselves on being open, raw, and honest with our readers and listeners. So, let me be real with you—communicating with kids doesn’t always go smoothly. Just last night, I tried to talk to Addison about something she needed help with, and it did not go well. She wouldn’t listen, got an attitude, and I ended up losing my cool and yelling at her.

Later, after stepping away from the situation, I realized I had failed—miserably. Swallowing my pride, I sat down with her to explain why I got upset and how we could avoid this in the future. It wasn’t easy, especially because my parents didn’t do that kind of thing when I was growing up. This wasn’t an action based on experience—it was based on what I wish had been done for me as a child.

I’ve heard baby boomers say over and over how anxiety attacks, panic attacks, or neurodivergence “weren’t an issue back in their day.” My goodness, just because something wasn’t named or talked about doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Now, generations since that era are trying to navigate and name the challenges they’ve faced as adults and parents.

That said, as a Millennial with iGen kids, I’ve noticed some people take it to the other extreme. They over-excuse bad behavior, slap a diagnosis on it, and use it as a justification: “This is just how I am because I have this medical issue.” Don’t get me wrong—many people truly need understanding and medical support. But not everything requires a pill or a diagnosis. Sometimes, kids just need good old-fashioned discipline. On that one point, I can agree with the baby boomers.

Finding the balance between understanding, discipline, and open communication isn’t easy, but it’s worth striving for. Let’s figure it out together.

Why Open Communication Matters

As parents, we often wish we could read our kids’ minds. But the reality is, trust and open communication take time to build. Creating a safe space for your kids to share their thoughts and feelings helps them feel valued and understood. This foundation of trust not only strengthens your relationship but also equips them to face life’s challenges with confidence.

Matt and I have had countless conversations with our kids, trying to draw out their feelings—sometimes even about us. Hearing their honest thoughts about how we’ve handled a situation or made them feel is never easy. It’s a tough conversation for everyone involved. The kids may feel scared to share something harsh, worried about being ridiculed or punished for their feelings. Meanwhile, we parents have to sit there, biting our tongues, doing everything we can not to react defensively to the information we’re hearing.

For someone like me, who learns best by seeing something done, this makes parenting an even bigger challenge. There’s no example to follow, no perfect guide to refer to. And that’s why it truly feels like an experiment—an ever-evolving, humbling, and rewarding one.

5 Parent-to-Parent Tips for Encouraging Open Communication

1. Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversations

Children are more likely to open up when they feel safe and free from judgment.

  • Set aside regular one-on-one time to talk with each child.
  • Avoid interrupting or dismissing their feelings.
  • Use phrases like, “I’m here to listen, not judge.”

Parent to parent, we know that fostering open communication takes practice, but the effort is absolutely worth it when your kids feel safe sharing their thoughts with you. Our children should feel secure coming to us with their feelings, questions, or concerns. If they don’t, they may eventually turn to other sources for comfort or develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage their emotions. Creating that sense of safety now lays the foundation for trust and resilience as they grow.

Am I a licensed professional? Nope. I’m just a mom speaking from experience—someone who was once a child herself and is now navigating the adventure of raising her own.

2. Model the Behavior You Want to See

Kids learn by example, so show them what open communication looks like:

  • Share your own thoughts and feelings in age-appropriate ways.
  • Admit when you’re wrong and apologize sincerely.
  • Discuss family decisions openly to show respect for everyone’s input.

From one parent to another, modeling vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, but it shows your kids that it’s okay to be human. We may never receive apologies for the things that still sting when we think about them. But if our childhoods have taught us anything, it’s this: there are lessons in what we didn’t appreciate, and those lessons drive us to do better for our own children.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of questions that prompt yes-or-no answers, try these:

  • “What was the best part of your day?”
  • “How do you feel about what happened at school today?”
  • “What’s something you’re excited or worried about?”

Open-ended questions invite deeper conversations and create opportunities for your kids to express themselves freely, without fear of giving the “wrong” answer. Instead of shutting down dialogue with simple yes-or-no responses, these questions encourage them to explore their thoughts and feelings. It’s not just about getting them to talk; it’s about showing them that their opinions, fears, and dreams matter.

Questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “How do you feel about what happened at school today?” signal to your kids that you’re genuinely interested in their experiences and willing to listen without judgment. This approach fosters a sense of safety and trust, allowing them to open up more readily over time.

It also strengthens your connection as a family. When kids know they’ll be heard, they’re more likely to share not just the good but also the challenges they’re facing. This can lead to meaningful problem-solving discussions and teach them the value of open communication in all areas of life.

When it comes to our kids, Ethan is the tough nut to crack. Getting him to open up feels like solving a puzzle with missing pieces. Addison, on the other hand, is the complete opposite—she’ll happily share every thought and feeling, whether you asked for them or not!

4. Make Time for Family Meetings

Set up regular family meetings to discuss feelings, plans, or challenges as a group.

  • Keep the tone light and supportive, not punitive.
  • Encourage everyone, including you, to share their thoughts.
  • End on a positive note, such as celebrating small wins or planning a fun family activity.

Family meetings show your kids that their voices matter, creating a space where everyone feels valued and strengthening the parent-to-child connection.

We don’t have family meetings as often as we should, but when we do, they’re incredibly helpful! That said, I have to admit—hearing the words “Family Meeting” instantly takes me back to my childhood. For me, those words usually meant mom and dad had reached their limit, and it was time for everyone to sit down and hear about how bad we’d been and how we needed to do better. It wasn’t an open conversation; it was a lecture. Our thoughts and feelings weren’t always welcomed, and if they were, it often felt like our thoughts and feelings were invalid. To be honest, this is probably why I (Denise) have such a hard time communicating with Matt in intense situations.

I want to be clear—I’m not trying to paint a picture of a terrible childhood. My parents did their best, as all parents do. I simply want to point out that all parents, including Matt and me, make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are small, and we learn from them quickly. Other times, we don’t realize they were mistakes until it’s too late.

To be fair, there’s a time and place for that kind of family meeting. Matt and I have had to hold those tough conversations ourselves, and they serve an important purpose. But the memory of those “family meetings” from my own childhood comes with a lot of negative connotations. That’s why we aim to create a different kind of family meeting for our kids—one that invites open dialogue, mutual respect, and understanding, rather than fear or frustration. It’s not perfect, but it’s a step toward fostering the kind of connection we want to have as a family.

Matt also dealt with similar situations with his parents growing up. I can’t speak for him because I wasn’t there. But I was there to witness some of the ways his younger sister was parented. And it wasn’t always pretty. I’ve even been on the receiving end of correction from Matts mom early on in our marriage. Just constant reminders of how I don’t want to act toward my kids. But again, as I admitted early on, I too fail at times.

5. Be Patient and Consistent

Building open communication takes time. Some days your kids may talk nonstop, and other days they may give one-word answers.

  • Stay consistent in your efforts to communicate.
  • Celebrate the small moments when they open up.
  • Let them know you’re always there, no matter what.

Patience and consistency are the secret ingredients to fostering trust and strengthening family bonds. I know how cliché that sounds—trust me, I rolled my eyes at myself as I wrote that. Because, let’s be real, some days it’s easy to be patient and consistent, and other days it’s like calmly explaining algebra to a tween who’s dramatically proclaiming they’ll never use math in real life.

The Benefits of Open Communication

When open communication becomes part of your family dynamic, you’ll notice positive changes:

  • Your kids will feel more confident sharing their thoughts and emotions.
  • Family conflicts will be easier to resolve.
  • You’ll build a deeper understanding of each other, creating a stronger family bond.
  • You’re kids will actually want to spend time with you. Without force!

Conclusion: Building Stronger Bonds

From our chaotic parenting woes to yours, fostering open communication with your kids is a journey, not a destination. By creating a safe space, modeling openness, asking meaningful questions, and staying consistent, you’re building a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. If you’ve ever watched a foundation being laid, it something that takes time, patience, knowledge, skills, and at times trial and error. It isn’t something that happens over night. So as you put these thoughts into practice, don’t get dissapointed if you don’t see immediate results!

If you’re ready to strengthen your family bond further, Check out our other posts on parenting tips and subscribe to our blog for more parenting advice from real life parents! Let’s navigate this journey together.

Message us on Facebook and/or TikTok for more relatable parenting advice and ideas to help foster communication in your family.

peace at home
Family Foundations

Creating Peace at Home: Turning Your House into a Sanctuary for Your Family

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Home should be more than just the place where we sleep, eat, and juggle the chaos of daily life—it should feel like a sanctuary. As parents, Matt and I know how challenging it can be to create peace at home, especially with kids, work, and an endless to-do list. But we’ve also learned that with a few intentional changes, it’s possible to build a space that feels calming, welcoming, and restorative for the whole family.

In this post, we’re sharing practical tips and insights from our own journey to make our home a place of peace. From managing the noise and clutter to creating moments of connection, these small changes can have a big impact on the way your family feels at home.

1. Start with Decluttering the Physical Space

It’s hard to feel peaceful when you’re surrounded by piles of stuff. One of the biggest things Matt and I have learned is that clutter isn’t just visual—it creates mental and emotional stress too.

We don’t have a Pinterest-perfect house by any means, but we’ve worked on minimizing the chaos by regularly decluttering. A great place to start is with the common areas: the kitchen, living room, and entryway. Once those spaces feel more open and organized, it’s amazing how much lighter the whole house feels.

💡 Practical Tip: Involve the kids in decluttering by turning it into a fun challenge. Who can fill a box of items to donate the fastest?

2. Prioritize Moments of Connection

Peace at home isn’t just about how a house looks—it’s about how it feels. And nothing creates a sense of calm like meaningful family connections. For us, this means carving out intentional time to connect with our kids, even if it’s just over dinner or playing video games with the kids after their schoolwork is completed.

Sometimes it’s as simple as turning off the TV and really listening to what the kids are saying. Other times, it’s planning a family movie night or taking a walk together. These small moments create a sense of belonging and stability that helps everyone feel more grounded.

3. Create Personal Spaces for Everyone

While we value togetherness, we’ve also learned that everyone needs a little personal space to recharge. For Matt, it’s his desk; for me, it’s a cozy corner with a comfy chair where I can game or work. The kids also have their own spaces where they can read, play, or unwind after a long day.

Having a designated spot for each family member to retreat to can work wonders for creating peace at home. It helps everyone recharge and prevents the whole family from getting overwhelmed by constant togetherness.

4. Add Calming Elements to Your Home

Sometimes, creating peace at home is as simple as changing the atmosphere. Adding soft lighting, calming scents, and cozy textures can completely transform the feel of a space.

We recently added a wax warmer to Matt’s desk that looks like a tiny fireplace, and it’s been such a simple but effective way to create a relaxing vibe. Whether it’s lighting a candle, playing soft background music, or investing in a fluffy throw blanket for the couch, these small touches make a big difference.

5. Establish a Routine That Works for Your Family

Chaos often sneaks into our home when there’s a lack of structure. While we’re not sticklers for a rigid schedule, having a flexible routine helps keep the day-to-day manageable and creates a sense of predictability for everyone.

For example, we’ve established simple morning and evening routines that help set the tone for the day and wind everyone down at night. Knowing what to expect takes the guesswork out of daily life and creates a foundation of peace.

💡 Practical Tip: Start small. Even a 5-minute family check-in at the end of the day can help everyone feel more connected and calm.

6. Model Peaceful Behavior

We’ve learned the hard way that our kids mirror what they see. If Matt and I are constantly stressed, snapping at each other, or rushing from one task to the next, that energy trickles down to the kids, fast.

Instead, we’ve been trying to model calm behavior (as much as possible). This means taking a breath before responding, using kind tones even when we’re frustrated, and showing the kids how we handle stress in healthy ways.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

Creating peace at home is a process, not an overnight transformation. Celebrate the little victories along the way, whether it’s a decluttered corner, a smooth bedtime routine, or a day when everyone manages to stay calm and connected.

We’ve found that celebrating these small wins helps us stay motivated and reminds us why we’re making these changes in the first place—to create a home where everyone feels loved, supported, and at peace.

Conclusion: Building Peace at Home Takes Intention

Creating a home that feels like a sanctuary doesn’t mean having a perfectly decorated house or a stress-free life. It’s about making intentional choices that bring calm, connection, and joy into your space.

By decluttering, prioritizing family time, and adding little touches of calm, you can transform your house into a place where your family can recharge and grow together. Remember, peace at home isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating an environment where everyone feels safe, loved, and at ease.

What’s one step you can take today to create more peace at home? Let us know! And if you’re looking for more tips and insights, subscribe below to Our Family Experiment for updates and exclusive content.

Message us on Facebook and/or TikTok for more relatable parenting advice and ideas to bring more calm into your family life.

parenthood
Family Foundations

What I Wish I Knew About Parenthood Before Becoming a Parent

by Denise Wright

Parenthood 101

Parenthood is a wild, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey. Before becoming a parent, I had plenty of expectations about what raising children would look like. Some of those expectations were accurate, but most were, well, completely off. Nothing fully prepares you for the emotional rollercoaster, the sleepless nights, or the indescribable joy that comes with the journey.

If I could go back in time and have a conversation with my pre-parent self, there’s so much I’d want to share—lessons learned through mistakes, unexpected triumphs, and the beautiful messiness of parenthood. While it’s true that no one gets it perfect, having some insights beforehand could have made the transition a little smoother.

Before writing this post, I sat down with Matt and asked him what he wished he had known before becoming a dad. Together, we reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way. In this post, I’m sharing what both Matt and I wish we had known about parenthood before becoming parents—from the sleepless nights to the everyday joys—and how this journey has shaped our lives in ways we never imagined.

1. Parenthood Redefines Exhaustion (and Joy)

When I asked Matt about the biggest adjustment to sleepless nights and long days, his answer was straightforward: “Having to provide for a kid who couldn’t do anything for himself.” For me, it was the constant worry that I was doing everything wrong or making all the wrong decisions. I quickly learned to trust my instincts when Ethan developed pyloric stenosis at just six weeks old—a moment that taught me the importance of listening to my gut as a parent.

The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. Knowing that someone is entirely dependent on you is both humbling and exhausting. But alongside the hard work comes moments of joy that make it all worthwhile. Watching your child grow, smile, and eventually give you a hug are the priceless moments that redefine what joy means in parenthood.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Matt thought he’d naturally be great at giving advice to his kids. Instead, he’s discovered that it’s something he’s still learning. “Kids don’t always want answers,” he admitted, “and sometimes, I’m not sure what the right advice is.”

We often tell our kids, “We’ve never been the parents of an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old before. Have patience with us as we figure it all out.” And that’s exactly how we came up with the name for our blog and podcast. Parenthood really is one big experiment—trial, and error, and everything in between. Sorry, kids!

Parenthood has shown us that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being present, listening, and showing your kids that you’re willing to learn and grow alongside them. And when we make mistakes… we have gotten pretty good at letting them know and when necessary, apologizing for making said mistakes.

We explore this topic in much greater detail in our eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection. And the best part? We’re giving it away for free to our subscribers! Just enter your email below, hit subscribe, and we’ll send the PDF straight to your inbox shortly after.

3. The Little Things Matter the Most

When I asked Matt about moments that make him feel like he’s doing something right as a dad, his answer was simple: “When they come up and hug me, or I see Ethan open a door for somebody.” I’d have to agree with this one 100%! I love it when the kids come to sit next to me for cuddles or just to ask me how my day is going or how I’m feeling.

Those small acts of kindness and love are a testament to the values we’re instilling in our kids. Watching them demonstrate empathy and respect in their everyday lives is one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood. It’s a reminder that the little things—like modeling kindness and giving hugs—really do make a difference.

4. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Like many parents, Matt admitted that he still compares himself to other dads. “I still do,” he said. And honestly, what parent doesn’t?

It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when social media often highlights picture-perfect parenting moments. But parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about doing what works best for your family and focusing on the values you want to instill in your kids. Letting go of comparison is an ongoing process, but it’s worth the effort for your peace of mind and your family’s happiness.

5. Your Identity Will Shift—and That’s Okay

When I asked Matt how becoming a dad changed him, his answer was straightforward and to the point: “More responsibilities.”

Parenthood shifts your identity in profound ways. For Matt, taking on the role of provider, protector, and mentor has brought a new level of accountability and purpose. While the added responsibilities can feel heavy at times, they’ve also given him a deeper sense of fulfillment and pride in being a dad.

For me, becoming a mom was something I had dreamed about since my early teenage years. I absolutely adored my sister’s girls and couldn’t wait for the day I’d have children of my own. I was the teenage girl who always wanted to help young moms with their babies and toddlers. Whether it was volunteering to teach or watching the kids during events, I jumped at the opportunity—not out of obligation, but because I genuinely loved spending time with them.

I laugh at that now, of course, because nothing fully prepares you for having kids of your own. Parenting is a whole different ballgame when you’re on call 24/7, managing the chaos, the mess, and the endless energy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids with all my heart, but I’ve also learned to love and appreciate the breaks. Those quiet moments when you can finally breathe and recharge are just as vital to being a good parent as the time spent pouring into your kids.

Parenthood is beautiful and challenging in equal measure. It changes you in ways you don’t expect, and while it’s everything I dreamed of, I’ve also learned the importance of finding balance and giving myself grace along the way.

6. Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

One of Matt’s most honest—and funniest—reflections came when I asked if there was ever a time he realized he needed help as a parent. Without missing a beat, he took me back to the early days of parenthood and made me laugh: “We’re pregnant. What do we do now?”

Classic Matt. That single question perfectly summed up the mix of excitement and sheer panic we both felt in those early days. Asking for help during those uncertain times took humility (and a bit of bravery), but it also brought much-needed guidance and reassurance.

Parenthood is a team effort, and seeking support—whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals—doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you’re willing to put your family’s well-being first, even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers. And let’s be honest—none of us do! Sometimes, all you can do is ask the question, take a deep breath, and figure it out one step at a time.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of Matt’s proudest moments as a dad is watching Ethan open doors for strangers. “We’ve often been complimented on it by people,” he shared.

Parenthood isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about celebrating the small wins. Seeing our kids display kindness and respect, even in seemingly minor ways, is a reminder that we’re making progress as parents. Those moments, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be celebrated.

Conclusion: What We’ve Learned About Parenthood

Parenthood has taught Matt and me more about patience, grace, and the art of not losing our minds than we ever thought possible. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s packed with moments that make the chaos and hard days worth it—like when the kids hug you for no reason… or finally remember to flush the toilet.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that parenthood is less about having it all figured out and more about figuring it out as you go. It’s messy, unpredictable, and humbling—like stepping on Legos at midnight—but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. And hey, if the kids end up in therapy one day, at least we can say we tried our best!

If you enjoyed reading about Matt’s perspective on parenthood, subscribe to Our Family Experiment for more real-life parenting stories and tips. Don’t forget to grab your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you sign up!

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ideas for family
Family Foundations

Ideas for Building Resilient Kids: Strengthening Emotional Foundations for Your Family

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Raising emotionally strong kids can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re searching for ideas for your family to build resilience, create stronger connections, and help your kids face life’s challenges with confidence, you’re in the right place.

In this post, we’ll explore practical tips, real-life examples, and simple strategies to help your kids grow emotionally while strengthening your family bond. Because when kids learn to manage emotions and overcome obstacles, they don’t just bounce back—they thrive.

1. Creating a Safe Space for Emotions

Building emotional resilience starts with teaching your kids that their feelings are valid and welcome.

  • Listen First: Encourage your child to share what’s on their mind without jumping in to “fix” the problem. Sometimes, they just need to feel heard.
  • Model Emotional Awareness: When you’re frustrated, say things like, “I’m feeling upset right now, but I’m going to take a deep breath and calm down.” Kids learn resilience by watching us handle our own emotions.
  • Tools for Younger Kids: Consider a feelings chart for younger children to name their emotions, or perhaps a journal for older kids over the age of 7.

This is especially important in our household because our daughter Addison experiences a wide range of emotions on a regular basis. Every day, we’re learning a little more about how to help her regulate her feelings, process things that upset her, and prepare for situations that might trigger strong reactions.

Though she’s the loudest in our house and a constant chatterbox, Addison is also incredibly sensitive. She reacts strongly to certain noises, has specific preferences for clothing textures, and is very particular about the foods she eats. Understanding her unique needs has been a journey, but it’s teaching us so much about patience, empathy, and creating an environment where she feels supported.

2. Teaching Problem-Solving Skills

When life gets tough, kids need to know how to work through challenges rather than avoid them.

  • Encourage Independent Thinking: Next time your child has a problem, ask questions like, “What do you think we should do?” or “What are a couple of solutions you can try?”
  • Break It Down: Help kids tackle challenges step by step so they don’t feel overwhelmed.
  • Celebrate Effort Over Outcomes: Remind your kids that trying and failing is often how we grow the most.

✨ Practical Tip: Start a family mantra like “In this family, we try, learn, and try again!”

3. Prioritizing Connection in Your Family

Strong emotional bonds help kids feel secure enough to handle life’s ups and downs. In our family, we’ve found that creating these bonds doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s often the little moments of connection that make the biggest difference. Whether it’s sitting down together for a meal, laughing over a shared joke, or simply being present when emotions run high, these everyday interactions build a foundation of trust and love.

One way we’ve worked on strengthening these connections is by being intentional about how we spend time together. Activities like family game nights or taking time to really listen to what our kids are saying have become simple but meaningful ways to create stability and connection.

There are many ways to strengthen your family’s bonds, from creating special traditions to finding small ways to show support every day. These efforts, no matter how small, provide kids with the stability and security they need to navigate life’s challenges with confidence.

These small, intentional efforts don’t just make kids feel loved—they give them the emotional security they need to face challenges with confidence.

  • Family Traditions Matter: Whether it’s weekly family game nights or bedtime chats, routines build connection and consistency.
  • Spend One-on-One Time: Even 10-15 minutes of focused time with each child can make a big difference. Ask about their day, dream with them, or simply share a laugh.

4. Teaching Healthy Coping Strategies

One of the best ideas for your family is helping your kids learn how to manage stress and disappointment in healthy ways.

  • Breathe Through It: Teach your kids simple deep breathing exercises to calm their minds.
  • Physical Outlets: Encourage activities like walking, biking, or playing outside when emotions run high.
  • Create a Calm-Down Space: Set up a cozy corner with soft blankets, books, and stress relief tools such as a box of sensory fidgets for kids who need a break.

In the end, even adults sometimes need a moment to cool down and breathe before reacting or engaging. In fact, I’d go a step further and suggest that those who are quick to react at the drop of a hat likely didn’t have someone teach them healthier ways to cope with their emotions growing up.

I’ll be honest—I struggle with reacting before I think, and I’ve noticed my kids have picked up on that habit too. But the fact that I can acknowledge it gives me hope—for their future and my own. After all, the first step to solving any problem is recognizing that it exists.

5. Practicing Gratitude as a Family

Gratitude shifts the focus from what’s missing to what’s already good in our lives—building a positive, resilient mindset.

  • Family Gratitude Jar: Have each family member write down one thing they’re grateful for each week and place it in the jar. At the end of the month, read them together.
  • Gratitude Journals: Encourage kids to list three “good things” each night before bed.
  • Model Thankfulness: Share your own moments of gratitude out loud.

✨ Reminder: Resilience grows when kids learn to look for the silver lining, even on tough days.

6. Celebrating Small Wins Together

Resilience isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Celebrate the effort your kids put into growing, trying, and learning.

  • Call Out the Little Things: Did your child try something new, stick with a tough task, or handle a disappointment well? Celebrate it!
  • Create a Family Wins Jar: Write down victories big and small, from “finished my chores without complaining” to “I stayed calm when I felt frustrated.”

Matt and I created an eBook that dives deep into Celebrating the Wins (Big and Small) and is packed with great ideas to help you do just that. Want a copy? Subscribe to Our Family Experiment today, and we’ll send you the eBook for free! It’s our way of saying thank you for joining us on this journey.

Conclusion: Resilience Starts at Home

Fostering emotional resilience in your kids isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, offering grace, and creating space for them to learn, grow, and bounce back stronger. These ideas for your family can help you build a foundation of emotional strength that will carry your kids through the challenges life throws their way.

Remember, small efforts add up. Every time you connect with your kids, celebrate their progress, or model resilience in your own life, you’re equipping them with tools they’ll carry for a lifetime.

Want more ideas to help your family thrive?

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Don’t forget to download your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you subscribe! We will send it straight to your email within minutes!