A parent and child sitting together, talking about mental health.
Family Journey

How to Talk to Your Kids About Mental Health

by Denise Wright

Breaking the Silence Around Mental Health

Mental health can feel overwhelming. Talking to kids about mental health… even more so. But it’s one of the most important conversations parents can have. Whether it’s helping them understand their own emotions or teaching them how to support others, opening the door to these discussions early creates a foundation of empathy, understanding, and resilience.

In this post, we’ll explore practical tips for starting conversations about mental health with your children, making the topic approachable, and creating a safe space for them to express their feelings.

Why Talking to Your Kids About Mental Health Matters

Mental health impacts every aspect of our lives, from how we think and feel to how we interact with others. Helping kids understand the importance of mental health early on:

  • Normalizes the conversation and reduces stigma.
  • Encourages them to express their feelings and seek help when needed.
  • Teaches them to recognize signs of stress or anxiety in themselves and others.

Start the Conversation Early

You don’t need to wait for a “big moment” to talk about mental health. Everyday situations—like a bad day at school or a sibling argument—are great opportunities to introduce the topic.

Practical Tips:

  • Use age-appropriate language: For younger kids, explain feelings like sadness or worry in simple terms. For older kids, you can introduce concepts like stress or anxiety.
  • Lead by example: Share moments when you felt overwhelmed and how you managed those emotions.
  • Ask open-ended questions: Instead of “Are you okay?” try “How are you feeling about what happened?”

Create a Safe Space for Sharing

Kids need to feel safe to talk about their feelings without fear of judgment or punishment.

How to Create a Safe Space:

  • Be present: Put away distractions and focus on them during the conversation.
  • Validate their feelings: Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared.
  • Avoid jumping to solutions: Sometimes, they just need to be heard.

Teach Them Healthy Coping Strategies

It’s not enough to talk about mental health; kids also need tools to navigate their emotions.

Coping Strategies to Share:

  • Deep breathing exercises to manage stress.
  • Journaling to express feelings they might not want to say out loud.
  • Physical activity as a mood booster.
  • Creative outlets like drawing or music.

Know When to Seek Help

Sometimes, kids need more support than we can provide as parents. Teach them that it’s okay to ask for help.

Signs Your Child Might Need Professional Support:

  • Persistent sadness or worry that doesn’t go away.
  • Withdrawal from friends or activities they usually enjoy.
  • Trouble sleeping or changes in appetite.

If you notice these signs, reach out to a school counselor, pediatrician, or mental health professional.

Breaking the Cycle: Teaching What You Weren’t Taught

One of the hardest parts of raising kids to understand the importance of mental health is navigating it yourself—especially when it wasn’t something you grew up understanding. Mental health wasn’t openly discussed in my childhood. It wasn’t ignored, but it also wasn’t something we prioritized or even acknowledged. Instead, I learned to navigate my big feelings on my own, which often left me feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to process what I was experiencing.

When I was a child, I faced significant loss that shaped me in ways I’m only beginning to understand. Losing my older brother to a tragic accident was devastating, and the grief felt unbearable at times. A year later, my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me as the oldest at home. It felt like my world shifted in the blink of an eye.

Without tools or guidance, I internalized a lot of those emotions. I didn’t know how to talk about the sadness, confusion, or even guilt I sometimes felt. I learned to keep going, to push through, and to cope in silence.

Now, as a parent, I see how those experiences shaped me. They taught me resilience, yes, but they also taught me to bury my feelings instead of addressing them. I don’t want that for my kids. I want them to know it’s okay to feel big emotions, to talk about their struggles, and to seek help when they need it.

What I’m Learning Along the Way:

  • It’s Okay Not to Have All the Answers: I remind myself that I don’t need to be an expert to start the conversation. Acknowledging mental health is an important first step.
  • Modeling Matters: Kids learn by watching us. When I take time to process my emotions or talk openly about struggles, I’m showing them that it’s okay to do the same.
  • Give Yourself Grace: Breaking generational cycles isn’t easy. There will be moments of doubt and missteps, but I try to focus on progress, not perfection.

By being open about my own learning process, I’m showing my kids that it’s never too late to prioritize mental health—and that even parents are still growing.

Keep the Conversation Going

Talking to your kids about mental health isn’t a one-time conversation—it’s an ongoing dialogue. By normalizing these discussions, providing a safe space, and teaching healthy coping strategies, we can help our kids develop the resilience they need to navigate life’s challenges.

Start small, stay consistent, and remember that it’s okay not to have all the answers. Most importantly, you’re showing up and starting the conversation.

How do you approach mental health conversations with your kids? Share your tips in the comments—we’d love to learn from you!

Family together, symbolizing the strength of rebuilding relationships and trust after challenges.
Faith and Family

Rebuilding After a Fall: How We’re Putting Our Family Back Together

by Denise Wright

Life has a way of humbling you when you least expect it. For years, we lived with purpose and a clear direction—or so we thought. Then, in what felt like a moment, everything shifted, leaving us scrambling to pick up the pieces. This post isn’t about tying everything up in a neat little bow. We’re still very much in the process of rebuilding our lives. But I want to share what this journey looks like—raw, messy, and real—and how we’re learning to grow as a family through it all.

The Moment It Fell Apart

For over two decades, Matt carried his minister’s license. It wasn’t just a credential; it represented his calling and became a cornerstone of our lives. In 2021, when we felt the Lord leading us to pastor a small church in Montana, it felt like everything was falling into place. Working for the Lord in that capacity was something we always wanted, filled with both challenges and triumphs.

But life rarely follows a straight path. In Montana, Matt made a mistake that cost him his license, shaking the foundation of our lives. The weight of that loss hit us hard, forcing him to confront questions he didn’t have answers to: Who was he without that identity? How could we move forward as a family?

As if that weren’t enough, financial struggles forced us to leave Montana and return to Oklahoma. The move felt like defeat, as if everything we had worked for had crumbled beneath us. Moving back in with my parents—something we’ve had to do more than once in our 12 years of marriage—required a level of humility we weren’t sure we had in us to summon yet again.

In those moments, we felt like failures—sometimes, we still do. But we’re learning to show ourselves the same grace the Lord so freely gives. It’s a daily process, but that grace is what keeps us holding on and moving forward.

Rebuilding is a Choice

Hitting rock bottom brings an overwhelming temptation to stay there. Letting the pain consume you feels easier than facing the daunting climb out. When we were isolated in Montana—far from family support and grappling with the aftermath of Matt’s mistake—the weight of it all felt suffocating, as if being consumed was inevitable.

For our family, though, staying down was not an option. We committed to making changes—not just to our circumstances, but to our hearts, priorities, and vision for the future. Matt’s mistake painfully exposed a disconnect between us that we could no longer ignore. Addressing that divide became a necessary part of rebuilding and moving forward.

Rebuilding Trust, One Step at a Time

When everything finally came to light, the revelation hit like a tidal wave. I hadn’t seen it coming, and the weight of it left me reeling. I found myself questioning how we had strayed so far off track and wondering what we could have done differently.

Healing wasn’t just about addressing the mistake itself—the loss of Matt’s license, the move, or the ripple effects on our family. It also forced us to confront the deep wound of broken trust. Knowing that something so significant had been hidden from me cut deeper than I was prepared for, and it created additional friction between us that we couldn’t ignore.

While Matt and I worked through the fallout in our own ways, I wrestled with feelings of betrayal and sadness. Rebuilding wasn’t just about moving forward; it became a process of repairing trust, piece by fragile piece. Hurt like that doesn’t fade overnight. It demands time, honesty, and an enormous amount of grace—for him, for myself, and for us together.

Even with the challenges, we chose to see this season as an opportunity—a chance to reset, refocus, and rebuild. The path hasn’t been easy, but it has required us to let go of the need to have all the answers and instead commit to taking one step at a time, one day at a time, always together.

What Rebuilding Looks Like for Us

Rebuilding isn’t glamorous. It’s messy, raw, and often filled with hard conversations and uncomfortable truths. There have been more tears than I can count. But even in the midst of all that, this season has also brought glimpses of grace, hope, and growth that remind us why we’re fighting to move forward.

Here’s what this journey looks like for us right now:

1. Focusing on Family First

Our family has become the foundation of everything we’re rebuilding. That means learning to show up for each other even when emotions are high and wounds are fresh. We’ve had to be intentional about creating routines that bring stability to our kids, even on days when Matt and I are struggling with our own emotions.

Open and honest communication has become non-negotiable. We talk with our kids about the challenges we’re facing in age-appropriate ways, and Matt and I are working hard to model what it looks like to face struggles together, with honesty and humility.

2. Rebuilding Trust in Our Marriage

The hardest part of this season has been the work Matt and I have done as a couple. Rebuilding trust after it breaks requires immense effort. The hurt cuts deep, and we’ve both had to confront it directly.

This process demands constant listening, unwavering honesty, and a shared commitment to rebuild our relationship piece by piece. Forgiveness isn’t something you choose once; it’s a decision we make every day. Some days feel easier than others, but we remain determined to move forward together, even when the path feels challenging.

The Hidden Struggles Behind the Scenes

Matt and I have been married for 12 years, a journey marked by highs, lows, and everything in between. The mistake that happened wasn’t small; it was the kind of event that can tear couples apart. To clarify, this wasn’t infidelity or anything of that sort. It stemmed from a series of poor financial decisions and compromised choices, made because Matt found himself in a position where he was forced to choose between meeting our family’s needs and doing what was right.

The pain it caused created distance, fueled resentment and brought heartbreak that seemed impossible to overcome.

These struggles often remain hidden from the outside world. To others, we might appear as though we have it all together. People assume everything is fine because we’ve learned how to show up, smile, and keep moving forward. The reality, however, is far different. There were moments when we were barely holding on—moments when the weight of it all felt crushing and left us questioning whether we could make it through.

Facing the Pain and Choosing to Stay

What made it even harder were the comments and beliefs tied to the idea that, as a married couple, we are “one.” While I respect and understand the biblical foundation of that unity, it was said that Matt’s mistake was my mistake too. But I can’t fully agree with that. His actions were his own, and while they deeply impacted us both, they weren’t something I caused or participated in. That belief added a layer of pain I wasn’t prepared for and made an already difficult situation even more complicated.

By the grace of God and the foundation laid by our upbringing, we somehow managed to hold it all together. But that doesn’t mean it was easy—far from it. There were moments when it felt like we were hanging on by a thread, moments when one or both of us thought about walking away. There were nights of silence, days filled with tension, and times when we wondered if we had anything left to give to each other.

Yet, through it all, we kept choosing to stay. To fight for what we had built. To believe that healing was possible, even when it felt out of reach. Holding it together didn’t mean pretending everything was perfect. It meant being willing to face the broken pieces and work together to rebuild them—no matter how messy or painful the process might be.

3. Setting Long-Term Goals

We have focused on moving forward by setting clear, tangible goals for the future. For us, this means achieving financial freedom, planning for a home of our own, and building a strong foundation for our kids’ futures.

The road ahead feels overwhelming at times. The distance between where we are and where we want to be can seem daunting. But these goals keep us grounded and provide a sense of direction. They give us something to work toward as a family, even when challenges arise.

This journey has also driven us to share openly about the raw, unfiltered reality of raising kids and navigating life’s hardships. Many versions of our story have been shared from different perspectives. While we understand those perspectives exist, we feel strongly about sharing our journey in our own voice.

Our intention is not to stir hurt or cause division but to offer honesty about where we are and how we are working to rebuild. Through transparency, we hope to encourage others who might feel alone in their struggles. If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that connection and healing come from stepping into the light, even when it feels uncomfortable.

4. Leaning Into Faith

Our faith has endured challenges we never anticipated. Trusting God as life falls apart hasn’t been easy, but it has grounded and anchored us throughout this season.

We place our trust in Him, even when the “why” remains unclear. Prayer and scripture provide daily reminders of His grace and strength, becoming essential for not only rebuilding our lives but also healing our hearts.

Matt and I have always leaned toward introversion, but the events we’ve faced have caused us to retreat even further. Letting people into our lives feels riskier now, knowing how easily relationships can unintentionally cause hurt. Right now, we are prioritizing what matters most: the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of our family and its future.

If we seem less present or show up differently than we once did, please know it’s not about anyone else. We are intentionally creating the space we need to heal and regroup as a family. This season demands our full attention, and we deeply appreciate the patience and understanding of those who care about us.

The Lessons We’re Learning

This season has been filled with hard-earned lessons:

  • Grace Matters: We’ve had to learn to extend grace to ourselves and each other. Mistakes don’t define us—how we choose to move forward does.
  • Humility Is a Gift: Living with my parents again has been humbling, but it’s also reminded us of the power of starting over with help.
  • Trust Takes Time: Rebuilding trust isn’t a quick process. It’s built through consistent actions, honesty, and a willingness to confront the hard stuff together.
  • Faith Isn’t Easy, but It’s Worth It: Trusting God through uncertainty is challenging, but it’s also what sustains us when everything else feels shaky.

A Work in Progress

We haven’t reached the finish line yet. Truthfully, I’m not even sure what the finish line looks like. What I do know is this: rebuilding doesn’t require perfection. It demands showing up every day, even when it’s hard. It’s about choosing hope over despair and consistently taking small, intentional steps forward.

If you’re in a season of rebuilding, remember—you’re not alone. The process is messy and painful, but it also holds the potential for growth, healing, and grace. Let’s navigate this journey together, one step at a time.

A Season of Healing and Hope

This season of life has been heavy, but it’s also been one of reflection, growth, and hope. We’re learning that rebuilding doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a series of small, deliberate steps. And while the process isn’t easy, it’s teaching us the value of grace, perseverance, and faith.

If you’re in a season of rebuilding, whether it’s your marriage, your family, or even just yourself, know that you’re not alone. Healing is possible, even in the messiest and most painful moments. Lean into grace, take it one step at a time, and remember that progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

Let’s keep the conversation going! If this post resonated with you, you might also find these resources helpful:

We’d love to hear from you—what’s been your greatest lesson in seasons of rebuilding? Share in the comments or connect with us through the links above. Together, we can find strength and encouragement for the journey ahead. ❤️

Family unpacking boxes in a new home, symbolizing the transition from moving to stability.
Family Journey

Moving Toward Stability: Why We Chose to Settle Down

by Denise Wright

For years, our family lived a life filled with change. We packed up our lives and started over in new places more times than I can count. Each move brought hope for something better, a fresh start, and a chance to follow what we felt was our calling. But after years of moving, we finally decided to settle down and create a permanent home.

This wasn’t an easy choice. It came with its fair share of challenges and heartache. While we’re still in the early stages of working toward our goals, we believe this decision is a step in the right direction for our family. In this post, I’ll share why we chose to stop moving and how we’re starting to build a foundation for our future.

The Challenges of Constant Moving

If you’ve ever uprooted your family, you know how hard it can be. Moving isn’t just about packing boxes and renting a truck. It’s about leaving behind familiar faces, routines, and the sense of security that comes with having a place to call home.

For us, moving often meant starting from scratch—finding a new community, adjusting to different schools or churches, and figuring out how to make ends meet in unfamiliar circumstances. Each new chapter came with its own set of challenges, and while we embraced these changes with faith and hope, the emotional toll began to add up. This transient lifestyle was even more impactful for me, as it compounded the one I grew up with; my father was a pastor for most of my life, and moving frequently was simply part of our family dynamic.

Our kids, though resilient and adaptable, began to feel the strain as well. Each move brought the challenge of making new friends, adjusting to new routines, and saying goodbye to the familiar. As parents, it became increasingly clear that stability was essential for our family to truly thrive. We couldn’t ignore the pattern we had fallen into—a seemingly never-ending loop of starting over and feeling like we were failing to build something lasting. We realized we didn’t want to pass that same cycle onto our kids, repeating the struggles we endured during our own childhoods.

Why We Moved So Often

Our moves weren’t always driven by a clear calling. In fact, the greater part of the last 12 years of moving was fueled by financial challenges or mental struggles. Sometimes, we simply needed a change to survive—to find stability or escape difficult circumstances. (And yes, there was even that one time we made the decision to move on the flip of a coin. It’s funny now, but at the time, it was a reflection of how lost we felt.)

While some moves were intentional and rooted in what we believed was a calling from God, those moments were fewer than we’d like to admit. When we did feel led by Him, we stepped out in faith, following doors we believed He opened for us. These moves often took us to unexpected places and taught us invaluable lessons. But even when the path seemed clear, the reality was that no move came without its challenges.

The Move to Montana: A Turning Point

One of the most significant moves we made was to Montana, where my husband, Matt, took on the role of pastoring a small church. It was a leap of faith, and we truly believed it was where we were meant to be. The opportunities and experiences there were unlike anything we’d ever had before, and we poured our hearts into that chapter of our lives.

But life doesn’t always go as planned. After two and a half years in Montana, we found ourselves at a crossroads. A mistake Matt made ultimately cost him his minister’s license, and the weight of that, combined with mounting financial struggles, made it impossible for us to stay. We couldn’t afford to live in Montana anymore, and we recognized that staying there wasn’t going to help us grow as a family.

The decision to leave wasn’t easy—it was humbling and painful—but it was necessary. Returning to Oklahoma became the reset we desperately needed to rebuild our lives and refocus on all aspects of our family’s future.

Why We Decided to Settle Down

After years of moving, we realized it was time to hit the pause button. Our family needed a reset—a chance to refocus, rebuild, and create a stable foundation for our future. Moving back to Oklahoma gave us that opportunity.

We’ve chosen to make Oklahoma our permanent home for several reasons:

  1. Financial Stability:
    Moving is expensive. The costs of relocating, finding new housing, and adjusting to a different cost of living had taken a toll. By settling down, we can focus on building financial freedom and working toward owning a place of our own.
  2. Family Support:
    Living with my parents has given us the chance to regroup and lean on the support of family. It’s allowed us to create long-term goals while giving our kids a sense of consistency and belonging.
  3. A Fresh Start:
    Staying in one place gives us the chance to work through past mistakes, learn from them, and build a future filled with purpose and growth.
  4. Our Kids’ Futures:
    We want to give our children a strong foundation—a place to call home and the stability to pursue their dreams without the constant upheaval of moving.

How We’re Building a Stable Future

Settling down doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes easy, but it does mean we can focus on what truly matters. We’ve set clear goals for our family over the next five years:

  1. Financial Freedom:
    We’re working toward paying off debt, saving for a home, and creating a budget that aligns with our long-term goals.
  2. Prioritizing Family Growth:
    By staying in one place, we can invest in activities and routines that strengthen our family bond—like homeschooling, family dinners, and local involvement.
  3. Creating a Permanent Home:
    While we’re currently living with my parents, we’re saving and planning for a home of our own in Oklahoma. This is more than a house; it’s the foundation for the life we want to build.
  4. Planning for the Kids’ Futures:
    From educational opportunities to instilling values that will guide them through life, we’re working to prepare our kids for success in every sense of the word.

The Lessons We’ve Learned from Moving

Looking back, I don’t regret the years of moving. Each chapter taught us something valuable about faith, resilience, and what truly matters. Moving gave us experiences we’ll cherish forever, but it also taught us the importance of creating roots.

Here are a few lessons we’ve learned:

  • God’s Plan Is Bigger Than Ours:
    Every move had a purpose, even if we didn’t see it at the time. Trusting His plan, even in the hard moments, has been a constant theme in our journey.
  • Stability Matters:
    While adventure is exciting, stability provides the space for growth, healing, and thriving as a family.
  • Mistakes Don’t Define Us:
    Moving back to Oklahoma was humbling, but it also gave us the opportunity to reset, refocus, and ensure we never repeat the mistakes of the past.

Conclusion: Finding Peace in Settling Down

After years of moving, we’ve finally found peace in settling down. While it wasn’t the easiest journey, it is shaping us in countless ways. Choosing to stay in Oklahoma is about more than geography—it’s about creating a stable, loving environment where our family can heal, grow, and thrive.

If you’re a parent navigating the challenges of moving or wondering if it’s time to settle down, know that you’re not alone. Every family’s journey is different, but what matters most is finding what works for you and your loved ones.

And if you’re curious to hear more about our family’s story and the lessons we’ve learned, check out our podcast, Our Family Experiment. You can find all our episodes here.

Parenting Podcast
Family Journey

Parenting Podcast Episode 1 Recap: Parenting Without a Playbook

by Denise Wright

Parenting is unpredictable, messy, and full of surprises—but it’s also deeply rewarding. In the first episode of Our Family Experiment, Matt and I dove into the reality of raising kids without a manual. If you’ve ever felt like you’re figuring things out on the fly, this parenting podcast episode is for you.

What We Talked About on our Parenting Podcast

Our debut episode highlights the lessons, challenges, and joys of parenting. Here are some key takeaways:

1. Parenting is a Journey of Learning
From diaper disasters to navigating big feelings, every parent has their “winging it” moments. Matt and I shared our own stories about figuring things out along the way, sometimes with hilarious results.

2. Faith as a Foundation
For us, faith is the cornerstone of our parenting journey. We shared how leaning on prayer and trusting in God’s plan has brought strength and clarity during life’s challenges. And let’s just say we’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—that making major decisions for your family’s future should never, I repeat never, involve flipping a coin!

3. Wins and Fails: A Peek Into Real Life
Parenting isn’t always pretty, but it’s full of relatable moments. In this episode, we shared a parenting win that gave us hope and a fail that had us laughing in hindsight.

4. What the Kids Think
Our favorite part of the episode was hearing from Ethan and Addison. They offered their candid (and often hilarious) take on having parents who don’t always have it together. Spoiler: the kids were uncharacteristically shy in this episode!

Why You’ll Love This Parenting Podcast

The goal of Our Family Experiment is to remind parents that nobody has all the answers. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, love, and showing up for your kids every day.

Listen to our Parenting Podcast

Missed Episode 1? No worries! Tune in now:

Let’s Hear from You

What did you think of Episode 1 of our parenting podcast? Share your thoughts by emailing us at [email protected] or connect with us on social media. Let’s navigate the ups and downs of parenting together!

peace at home
Family Foundations

Creating Peace at Home: Turning Your House into a Sanctuary for Your Family

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Home should be more than just the place where we sleep, eat, and juggle the chaos of daily life—it should feel like a sanctuary. As parents, Matt and I know how challenging it can be to create peace at home, especially with kids, work, and an endless to-do list. But we’ve also learned that with a few intentional changes, it’s possible to build a space that feels calming, welcoming, and restorative for the whole family.

In this post, we’re sharing practical tips and insights from our own journey to make our home a place of peace. From managing the noise and clutter to creating moments of connection, these small changes can have a big impact on the way your family feels at home.

1. Start with Decluttering the Physical Space

It’s hard to feel peaceful when you’re surrounded by piles of stuff. One of the biggest things Matt and I have learned is that clutter isn’t just visual—it creates mental and emotional stress too.

We don’t have a Pinterest-perfect house by any means, but we’ve worked on minimizing the chaos by regularly decluttering. A great place to start is with the common areas: the kitchen, living room, and entryway. Once those spaces feel more open and organized, it’s amazing how much lighter the whole house feels.

💡 Practical Tip: Involve the kids in decluttering by turning it into a fun challenge. Who can fill a box of items to donate the fastest?

2. Prioritize Moments of Connection

Peace at home isn’t just about how a house looks—it’s about how it feels. And nothing creates a sense of calm like meaningful family connections. For us, this means carving out intentional time to connect with our kids, even if it’s just over dinner or playing video games with the kids after their schoolwork is completed.

Sometimes it’s as simple as turning off the TV and really listening to what the kids are saying. Other times, it’s planning a family movie night or taking a walk together. These small moments create a sense of belonging and stability that helps everyone feel more grounded.

3. Create Personal Spaces for Everyone

While we value togetherness, we’ve also learned that everyone needs a little personal space to recharge. For Matt, it’s his desk; for me, it’s a cozy corner with a comfy chair where I can game or work. The kids also have their own spaces where they can read, play, or unwind after a long day.

Having a designated spot for each family member to retreat to can work wonders for creating peace at home. It helps everyone recharge and prevents the whole family from getting overwhelmed by constant togetherness.

4. Add Calming Elements to Your Home

Sometimes, creating peace at home is as simple as changing the atmosphere. Adding soft lighting, calming scents, and cozy textures can completely transform the feel of a space.

We recently added a wax warmer to Matt’s desk that looks like a tiny fireplace, and it’s been such a simple but effective way to create a relaxing vibe. Whether it’s lighting a candle, playing soft background music, or investing in a fluffy throw blanket for the couch, these small touches make a big difference.

5. Establish a Routine That Works for Your Family

Chaos often sneaks into our home when there’s a lack of structure. While we’re not sticklers for a rigid schedule, having a flexible routine helps keep the day-to-day manageable and creates a sense of predictability for everyone.

For example, we’ve established simple morning and evening routines that help set the tone for the day and wind everyone down at night. Knowing what to expect takes the guesswork out of daily life and creates a foundation of peace.

💡 Practical Tip: Start small. Even a 5-minute family check-in at the end of the day can help everyone feel more connected and calm.

6. Model Peaceful Behavior

We’ve learned the hard way that our kids mirror what they see. If Matt and I are constantly stressed, snapping at each other, or rushing from one task to the next, that energy trickles down to the kids, fast.

Instead, we’ve been trying to model calm behavior (as much as possible). This means taking a breath before responding, using kind tones even when we’re frustrated, and showing the kids how we handle stress in healthy ways.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

Creating peace at home is a process, not an overnight transformation. Celebrate the little victories along the way, whether it’s a decluttered corner, a smooth bedtime routine, or a day when everyone manages to stay calm and connected.

We’ve found that celebrating these small wins helps us stay motivated and reminds us why we’re making these changes in the first place—to create a home where everyone feels loved, supported, and at peace.

Conclusion: Building Peace at Home Takes Intention

Creating a home that feels like a sanctuary doesn’t mean having a perfectly decorated house or a stress-free life. It’s about making intentional choices that bring calm, connection, and joy into your space.

By decluttering, prioritizing family time, and adding little touches of calm, you can transform your house into a place where your family can recharge and grow together. Remember, peace at home isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating an environment where everyone feels safe, loved, and at ease.

What’s one step you can take today to create more peace at home? Let us know! And if you’re looking for more tips and insights, subscribe below to Our Family Experiment for updates and exclusive content.

Message us on Facebook and/or TikTok for more relatable parenting advice and ideas to bring more calm into your family life.

parenthood
Family Foundations

What I Wish I Knew About Parenthood Before Becoming a Parent

by Denise Wright

Parenthood 101

Parenthood is a wild, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey. Before becoming a parent, I had plenty of expectations about what raising children would look like. Some of those expectations were accurate, but most were, well, completely off. Nothing fully prepares you for the emotional rollercoaster, the sleepless nights, or the indescribable joy that comes with the journey.

If I could go back in time and have a conversation with my pre-parent self, there’s so much I’d want to share—lessons learned through mistakes, unexpected triumphs, and the beautiful messiness of parenthood. While it’s true that no one gets it perfect, having some insights beforehand could have made the transition a little smoother.

Before writing this post, I sat down with Matt and asked him what he wished he had known before becoming a dad. Together, we reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way. In this post, I’m sharing what both Matt and I wish we had known about parenthood before becoming parents—from the sleepless nights to the everyday joys—and how this journey has shaped our lives in ways we never imagined.

1. Parenthood Redefines Exhaustion (and Joy)

When I asked Matt about the biggest adjustment to sleepless nights and long days, his answer was straightforward: “Having to provide for a kid who couldn’t do anything for himself.” For me, it was the constant worry that I was doing everything wrong or making all the wrong decisions. I quickly learned to trust my instincts when Ethan developed pyloric stenosis at just six weeks old—a moment that taught me the importance of listening to my gut as a parent.

The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. Knowing that someone is entirely dependent on you is both humbling and exhausting. But alongside the hard work comes moments of joy that make it all worthwhile. Watching your child grow, smile, and eventually give you a hug are the priceless moments that redefine what joy means in parenthood.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Matt thought he’d naturally be great at giving advice to his kids. Instead, he’s discovered that it’s something he’s still learning. “Kids don’t always want answers,” he admitted, “and sometimes, I’m not sure what the right advice is.”

We often tell our kids, “We’ve never been the parents of an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old before. Have patience with us as we figure it all out.” And that’s exactly how we came up with the name for our blog and podcast. Parenthood really is one big experiment—trial, and error, and everything in between. Sorry, kids!

Parenthood has shown us that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being present, listening, and showing your kids that you’re willing to learn and grow alongside them. And when we make mistakes… we have gotten pretty good at letting them know and when necessary, apologizing for making said mistakes.

We explore this topic in much greater detail in our eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection. And the best part? We’re giving it away for free to our subscribers! Just enter your email below, hit subscribe, and we’ll send the PDF straight to your inbox shortly after.

3. The Little Things Matter the Most

When I asked Matt about moments that make him feel like he’s doing something right as a dad, his answer was simple: “When they come up and hug me, or I see Ethan open a door for somebody.” I’d have to agree with this one 100%! I love it when the kids come to sit next to me for cuddles or just to ask me how my day is going or how I’m feeling.

Those small acts of kindness and love are a testament to the values we’re instilling in our kids. Watching them demonstrate empathy and respect in their everyday lives is one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood. It’s a reminder that the little things—like modeling kindness and giving hugs—really do make a difference.

4. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Like many parents, Matt admitted that he still compares himself to other dads. “I still do,” he said. And honestly, what parent doesn’t?

It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when social media often highlights picture-perfect parenting moments. But parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about doing what works best for your family and focusing on the values you want to instill in your kids. Letting go of comparison is an ongoing process, but it’s worth the effort for your peace of mind and your family’s happiness.

5. Your Identity Will Shift—and That’s Okay

When I asked Matt how becoming a dad changed him, his answer was straightforward and to the point: “More responsibilities.”

Parenthood shifts your identity in profound ways. For Matt, taking on the role of provider, protector, and mentor has brought a new level of accountability and purpose. While the added responsibilities can feel heavy at times, they’ve also given him a deeper sense of fulfillment and pride in being a dad.

For me, becoming a mom was something I had dreamed about since my early teenage years. I absolutely adored my sister’s girls and couldn’t wait for the day I’d have children of my own. I was the teenage girl who always wanted to help young moms with their babies and toddlers. Whether it was volunteering to teach or watching the kids during events, I jumped at the opportunity—not out of obligation, but because I genuinely loved spending time with them.

I laugh at that now, of course, because nothing fully prepares you for having kids of your own. Parenting is a whole different ballgame when you’re on call 24/7, managing the chaos, the mess, and the endless energy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids with all my heart, but I’ve also learned to love and appreciate the breaks. Those quiet moments when you can finally breathe and recharge are just as vital to being a good parent as the time spent pouring into your kids.

Parenthood is beautiful and challenging in equal measure. It changes you in ways you don’t expect, and while it’s everything I dreamed of, I’ve also learned the importance of finding balance and giving myself grace along the way.

6. Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

One of Matt’s most honest—and funniest—reflections came when I asked if there was ever a time he realized he needed help as a parent. Without missing a beat, he took me back to the early days of parenthood and made me laugh: “We’re pregnant. What do we do now?”

Classic Matt. That single question perfectly summed up the mix of excitement and sheer panic we both felt in those early days. Asking for help during those uncertain times took humility (and a bit of bravery), but it also brought much-needed guidance and reassurance.

Parenthood is a team effort, and seeking support—whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals—doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you’re willing to put your family’s well-being first, even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers. And let’s be honest—none of us do! Sometimes, all you can do is ask the question, take a deep breath, and figure it out one step at a time.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of Matt’s proudest moments as a dad is watching Ethan open doors for strangers. “We’ve often been complimented on it by people,” he shared.

Parenthood isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about celebrating the small wins. Seeing our kids display kindness and respect, even in seemingly minor ways, is a reminder that we’re making progress as parents. Those moments, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be celebrated.

Conclusion: What We’ve Learned About Parenthood

Parenthood has taught Matt and me more about patience, grace, and the art of not losing our minds than we ever thought possible. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s packed with moments that make the chaos and hard days worth it—like when the kids hug you for no reason… or finally remember to flush the toilet.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that parenthood is less about having it all figured out and more about figuring it out as you go. It’s messy, unpredictable, and humbling—like stepping on Legos at midnight—but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. And hey, if the kids end up in therapy one day, at least we can say we tried our best!

If you enjoyed reading about Matt’s perspective on parenthood, subscribe to Our Family Experiment for more real-life parenting stories and tips. Don’t forget to grab your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you sign up!

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