parent to parent
Family Bonding

How to Foster Open Communication with Your Kids: Parent-to-Parent Guide

by Denise Wright

Open communication is the foundation of a strong family bond, but as every parent knows, it’s far from easy. Navigating tough conversations and creating a safe space for kids to express themselves is a challenge we all face. That’s why we’re here to share practical, parent-to-parent tips for fostering honest dialogue within your family.

At Our Family Experiment, we pride ourselves on being open, raw, and honest with our readers and listeners. So, let me be real with you—communicating with kids doesn’t always go smoothly. Just last night, I tried to talk to Addison about something she needed help with, and it did not go well. She wouldn’t listen, got an attitude, and I ended up losing my cool and yelling at her.

Later, after stepping away from the situation, I realized I had failed—miserably. Swallowing my pride, I sat down with her to explain why I got upset and how we could avoid this in the future. It wasn’t easy, especially because my parents didn’t do that kind of thing when I was growing up. This wasn’t an action based on experience—it was based on what I wish had been done for me as a child.

I’ve heard baby boomers say over and over how anxiety attacks, panic attacks, or neurodivergence “weren’t an issue back in their day.” My goodness, just because something wasn’t named or talked about doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Now, generations since that era are trying to navigate and name the challenges they’ve faced as adults and parents.

That said, as a Millennial with iGen kids, I’ve noticed some people take it to the other extreme. They over-excuse bad behavior, slap a diagnosis on it, and use it as a justification: “This is just how I am because I have this medical issue.” Don’t get me wrong—many people truly need understanding and medical support. But not everything requires a pill or a diagnosis. Sometimes, kids just need good old-fashioned discipline. On that one point, I can agree with the baby boomers.

Finding the balance between understanding, discipline, and open communication isn’t easy, but it’s worth striving for. Let’s figure it out together.

Why Open Communication Matters

As parents, we often wish we could read our kids’ minds. But the reality is, trust and open communication take time to build. Creating a safe space for your kids to share their thoughts and feelings helps them feel valued and understood. This foundation of trust not only strengthens your relationship but also equips them to face life’s challenges with confidence.

Matt and I have had countless conversations with our kids, trying to draw out their feelings—sometimes even about us. Hearing their honest thoughts about how we’ve handled a situation or made them feel is never easy. It’s a tough conversation for everyone involved. The kids may feel scared to share something harsh, worried about being ridiculed or punished for their feelings. Meanwhile, we parents have to sit there, biting our tongues, doing everything we can not to react defensively to the information we’re hearing.

For someone like me, who learns best by seeing something done, this makes parenting an even bigger challenge. There’s no example to follow, no perfect guide to refer to. And that’s why it truly feels like an experiment—an ever-evolving, humbling, and rewarding one.

5 Parent-to-Parent Tips for Encouraging Open Communication

1. Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversations

Children are more likely to open up when they feel safe and free from judgment.

  • Set aside regular one-on-one time to talk with each child.
  • Avoid interrupting or dismissing their feelings.
  • Use phrases like, “I’m here to listen, not judge.”

Parent to parent, we know that fostering open communication takes practice, but the effort is absolutely worth it when your kids feel safe sharing their thoughts with you. Our children should feel secure coming to us with their feelings, questions, or concerns. If they don’t, they may eventually turn to other sources for comfort or develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage their emotions. Creating that sense of safety now lays the foundation for trust and resilience as they grow.

Am I a licensed professional? Nope. I’m just a mom speaking from experience—someone who was once a child herself and is now navigating the adventure of raising her own.

2. Model the Behavior You Want to See

Kids learn by example, so show them what open communication looks like:

  • Share your own thoughts and feelings in age-appropriate ways.
  • Admit when you’re wrong and apologize sincerely.
  • Discuss family decisions openly to show respect for everyone’s input.

From one parent to another, modeling vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, but it shows your kids that it’s okay to be human. We may never receive apologies for the things that still sting when we think about them. But if our childhoods have taught us anything, it’s this: there are lessons in what we didn’t appreciate, and those lessons drive us to do better for our own children.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of questions that prompt yes-or-no answers, try these:

  • “What was the best part of your day?”
  • “How do you feel about what happened at school today?”
  • “What’s something you’re excited or worried about?”

Open-ended questions invite deeper conversations and create opportunities for your kids to express themselves freely, without fear of giving the “wrong” answer. Instead of shutting down dialogue with simple yes-or-no responses, these questions encourage them to explore their thoughts and feelings. It’s not just about getting them to talk; it’s about showing them that their opinions, fears, and dreams matter.

Questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “How do you feel about what happened at school today?” signal to your kids that you’re genuinely interested in their experiences and willing to listen without judgment. This approach fosters a sense of safety and trust, allowing them to open up more readily over time.

It also strengthens your connection as a family. When kids know they’ll be heard, they’re more likely to share not just the good but also the challenges they’re facing. This can lead to meaningful problem-solving discussions and teach them the value of open communication in all areas of life.

When it comes to our kids, Ethan is the tough nut to crack. Getting him to open up feels like solving a puzzle with missing pieces. Addison, on the other hand, is the complete opposite—she’ll happily share every thought and feeling, whether you asked for them or not!

4. Make Time for Family Meetings

Set up regular family meetings to discuss feelings, plans, or challenges as a group.

  • Keep the tone light and supportive, not punitive.
  • Encourage everyone, including you, to share their thoughts.
  • End on a positive note, such as celebrating small wins or planning a fun family activity.

Family meetings show your kids that their voices matter, creating a space where everyone feels valued and strengthening the parent-to-child connection.

We don’t have family meetings as often as we should, but when we do, they’re incredibly helpful! That said, I have to admit—hearing the words “Family Meeting” instantly takes me back to my childhood. For me, those words usually meant mom and dad had reached their limit, and it was time for everyone to sit down and hear about how bad we’d been and how we needed to do better. It wasn’t an open conversation; it was a lecture. Our thoughts and feelings weren’t always welcomed, and if they were, it often felt like our thoughts and feelings were invalid. To be honest, this is probably why I (Denise) have such a hard time communicating with Matt in intense situations.

I want to be clear—I’m not trying to paint a picture of a terrible childhood. My parents did their best, as all parents do. I simply want to point out that all parents, including Matt and me, make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are small, and we learn from them quickly. Other times, we don’t realize they were mistakes until it’s too late.

To be fair, there’s a time and place for that kind of family meeting. Matt and I have had to hold those tough conversations ourselves, and they serve an important purpose. But the memory of those “family meetings” from my own childhood comes with a lot of negative connotations. That’s why we aim to create a different kind of family meeting for our kids—one that invites open dialogue, mutual respect, and understanding, rather than fear or frustration. It’s not perfect, but it’s a step toward fostering the kind of connection we want to have as a family.

Matt also dealt with similar situations with his parents growing up. I can’t speak for him because I wasn’t there. But I was there to witness some of the ways his younger sister was parented. And it wasn’t always pretty. I’ve even been on the receiving end of correction from Matts mom early on in our marriage. Just constant reminders of how I don’t want to act toward my kids. But again, as I admitted early on, I too fail at times.

5. Be Patient and Consistent

Building open communication takes time. Some days your kids may talk nonstop, and other days they may give one-word answers.

  • Stay consistent in your efforts to communicate.
  • Celebrate the small moments when they open up.
  • Let them know you’re always there, no matter what.

Patience and consistency are the secret ingredients to fostering trust and strengthening family bonds. I know how cliché that sounds—trust me, I rolled my eyes at myself as I wrote that. Because, let’s be real, some days it’s easy to be patient and consistent, and other days it’s like calmly explaining algebra to a tween who’s dramatically proclaiming they’ll never use math in real life.

The Benefits of Open Communication

When open communication becomes part of your family dynamic, you’ll notice positive changes:

  • Your kids will feel more confident sharing their thoughts and emotions.
  • Family conflicts will be easier to resolve.
  • You’ll build a deeper understanding of each other, creating a stronger family bond.
  • You’re kids will actually want to spend time with you. Without force!

Conclusion: Building Stronger Bonds

From our chaotic parenting woes to yours, fostering open communication with your kids is a journey, not a destination. By creating a safe space, modeling openness, asking meaningful questions, and staying consistent, you’re building a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. If you’ve ever watched a foundation being laid, it something that takes time, patience, knowledge, skills, and at times trial and error. It isn’t something that happens over night. So as you put these thoughts into practice, don’t get dissapointed if you don’t see immediate results!

If you’re ready to strengthen your family bond further, Check out our other posts on parenting tips and subscribe to our blog for more parenting advice from real life parents! Let’s navigate this journey together.

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peace at home
Family Foundations

Creating Peace at Home: Turning Your House into a Sanctuary for Your Family

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Home should be more than just the place where we sleep, eat, and juggle the chaos of daily life—it should feel like a sanctuary. As parents, Matt and I know how challenging it can be to create peace at home, especially with kids, work, and an endless to-do list. But we’ve also learned that with a few intentional changes, it’s possible to build a space that feels calming, welcoming, and restorative for the whole family.

In this post, we’re sharing practical tips and insights from our own journey to make our home a place of peace. From managing the noise and clutter to creating moments of connection, these small changes can have a big impact on the way your family feels at home.

1. Start with Decluttering the Physical Space

It’s hard to feel peaceful when you’re surrounded by piles of stuff. One of the biggest things Matt and I have learned is that clutter isn’t just visual—it creates mental and emotional stress too.

We don’t have a Pinterest-perfect house by any means, but we’ve worked on minimizing the chaos by regularly decluttering. A great place to start is with the common areas: the kitchen, living room, and entryway. Once those spaces feel more open and organized, it’s amazing how much lighter the whole house feels.

💡 Practical Tip: Involve the kids in decluttering by turning it into a fun challenge. Who can fill a box of items to donate the fastest?

2. Prioritize Moments of Connection

Peace at home isn’t just about how a house looks—it’s about how it feels. And nothing creates a sense of calm like meaningful family connections. For us, this means carving out intentional time to connect with our kids, even if it’s just over dinner or playing video games with the kids after their schoolwork is completed.

Sometimes it’s as simple as turning off the TV and really listening to what the kids are saying. Other times, it’s planning a family movie night or taking a walk together. These small moments create a sense of belonging and stability that helps everyone feel more grounded.

3. Create Personal Spaces for Everyone

While we value togetherness, we’ve also learned that everyone needs a little personal space to recharge. For Matt, it’s his desk; for me, it’s a cozy corner with a comfy chair where I can game or work. The kids also have their own spaces where they can read, play, or unwind after a long day.

Having a designated spot for each family member to retreat to can work wonders for creating peace at home. It helps everyone recharge and prevents the whole family from getting overwhelmed by constant togetherness.

4. Add Calming Elements to Your Home

Sometimes, creating peace at home is as simple as changing the atmosphere. Adding soft lighting, calming scents, and cozy textures can completely transform the feel of a space.

We recently added a wax warmer to Matt’s desk that looks like a tiny fireplace, and it’s been such a simple but effective way to create a relaxing vibe. Whether it’s lighting a candle, playing soft background music, or investing in a fluffy throw blanket for the couch, these small touches make a big difference.

5. Establish a Routine That Works for Your Family

Chaos often sneaks into our home when there’s a lack of structure. While we’re not sticklers for a rigid schedule, having a flexible routine helps keep the day-to-day manageable and creates a sense of predictability for everyone.

For example, we’ve established simple morning and evening routines that help set the tone for the day and wind everyone down at night. Knowing what to expect takes the guesswork out of daily life and creates a foundation of peace.

💡 Practical Tip: Start small. Even a 5-minute family check-in at the end of the day can help everyone feel more connected and calm.

6. Model Peaceful Behavior

We’ve learned the hard way that our kids mirror what they see. If Matt and I are constantly stressed, snapping at each other, or rushing from one task to the next, that energy trickles down to the kids, fast.

Instead, we’ve been trying to model calm behavior (as much as possible). This means taking a breath before responding, using kind tones even when we’re frustrated, and showing the kids how we handle stress in healthy ways.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

Creating peace at home is a process, not an overnight transformation. Celebrate the little victories along the way, whether it’s a decluttered corner, a smooth bedtime routine, or a day when everyone manages to stay calm and connected.

We’ve found that celebrating these small wins helps us stay motivated and reminds us why we’re making these changes in the first place—to create a home where everyone feels loved, supported, and at peace.

Conclusion: Building Peace at Home Takes Intention

Creating a home that feels like a sanctuary doesn’t mean having a perfectly decorated house or a stress-free life. It’s about making intentional choices that bring calm, connection, and joy into your space.

By decluttering, prioritizing family time, and adding little touches of calm, you can transform your house into a place where your family can recharge and grow together. Remember, peace at home isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating an environment where everyone feels safe, loved, and at ease.

What’s one step you can take today to create more peace at home? Let us know! And if you’re looking for more tips and insights, subscribe below to Our Family Experiment for updates and exclusive content.

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parenthood
Family Foundations

What I Wish I Knew About Parenthood Before Becoming a Parent

by Denise Wright

Parenthood 101

Parenthood is a wild, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey. Before becoming a parent, I had plenty of expectations about what raising children would look like. Some of those expectations were accurate, but most were, well, completely off. Nothing fully prepares you for the emotional rollercoaster, the sleepless nights, or the indescribable joy that comes with the journey.

If I could go back in time and have a conversation with my pre-parent self, there’s so much I’d want to share—lessons learned through mistakes, unexpected triumphs, and the beautiful messiness of parenthood. While it’s true that no one gets it perfect, having some insights beforehand could have made the transition a little smoother.

Before writing this post, I sat down with Matt and asked him what he wished he had known before becoming a dad. Together, we reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way. In this post, I’m sharing what both Matt and I wish we had known about parenthood before becoming parents—from the sleepless nights to the everyday joys—and how this journey has shaped our lives in ways we never imagined.

1. Parenthood Redefines Exhaustion (and Joy)

When I asked Matt about the biggest adjustment to sleepless nights and long days, his answer was straightforward: “Having to provide for a kid who couldn’t do anything for himself.” For me, it was the constant worry that I was doing everything wrong or making all the wrong decisions. I quickly learned to trust my instincts when Ethan developed pyloric stenosis at just six weeks old—a moment that taught me the importance of listening to my gut as a parent.

The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. Knowing that someone is entirely dependent on you is both humbling and exhausting. But alongside the hard work comes moments of joy that make it all worthwhile. Watching your child grow, smile, and eventually give you a hug are the priceless moments that redefine what joy means in parenthood.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Matt thought he’d naturally be great at giving advice to his kids. Instead, he’s discovered that it’s something he’s still learning. “Kids don’t always want answers,” he admitted, “and sometimes, I’m not sure what the right advice is.”

We often tell our kids, “We’ve never been the parents of an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old before. Have patience with us as we figure it all out.” And that’s exactly how we came up with the name for our blog and podcast. Parenthood really is one big experiment—trial, and error, and everything in between. Sorry, kids!

Parenthood has shown us that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being present, listening, and showing your kids that you’re willing to learn and grow alongside them. And when we make mistakes… we have gotten pretty good at letting them know and when necessary, apologizing for making said mistakes.

We explore this topic in much greater detail in our eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection. And the best part? We’re giving it away for free to our subscribers! Just enter your email below, hit subscribe, and we’ll send the PDF straight to your inbox shortly after.

3. The Little Things Matter the Most

When I asked Matt about moments that make him feel like he’s doing something right as a dad, his answer was simple: “When they come up and hug me, or I see Ethan open a door for somebody.” I’d have to agree with this one 100%! I love it when the kids come to sit next to me for cuddles or just to ask me how my day is going or how I’m feeling.

Those small acts of kindness and love are a testament to the values we’re instilling in our kids. Watching them demonstrate empathy and respect in their everyday lives is one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood. It’s a reminder that the little things—like modeling kindness and giving hugs—really do make a difference.

4. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Like many parents, Matt admitted that he still compares himself to other dads. “I still do,” he said. And honestly, what parent doesn’t?

It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when social media often highlights picture-perfect parenting moments. But parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about doing what works best for your family and focusing on the values you want to instill in your kids. Letting go of comparison is an ongoing process, but it’s worth the effort for your peace of mind and your family’s happiness.

5. Your Identity Will Shift—and That’s Okay

When I asked Matt how becoming a dad changed him, his answer was straightforward and to the point: “More responsibilities.”

Parenthood shifts your identity in profound ways. For Matt, taking on the role of provider, protector, and mentor has brought a new level of accountability and purpose. While the added responsibilities can feel heavy at times, they’ve also given him a deeper sense of fulfillment and pride in being a dad.

For me, becoming a mom was something I had dreamed about since my early teenage years. I absolutely adored my sister’s girls and couldn’t wait for the day I’d have children of my own. I was the teenage girl who always wanted to help young moms with their babies and toddlers. Whether it was volunteering to teach or watching the kids during events, I jumped at the opportunity—not out of obligation, but because I genuinely loved spending time with them.

I laugh at that now, of course, because nothing fully prepares you for having kids of your own. Parenting is a whole different ballgame when you’re on call 24/7, managing the chaos, the mess, and the endless energy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids with all my heart, but I’ve also learned to love and appreciate the breaks. Those quiet moments when you can finally breathe and recharge are just as vital to being a good parent as the time spent pouring into your kids.

Parenthood is beautiful and challenging in equal measure. It changes you in ways you don’t expect, and while it’s everything I dreamed of, I’ve also learned the importance of finding balance and giving myself grace along the way.

6. Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

One of Matt’s most honest—and funniest—reflections came when I asked if there was ever a time he realized he needed help as a parent. Without missing a beat, he took me back to the early days of parenthood and made me laugh: “We’re pregnant. What do we do now?”

Classic Matt. That single question perfectly summed up the mix of excitement and sheer panic we both felt in those early days. Asking for help during those uncertain times took humility (and a bit of bravery), but it also brought much-needed guidance and reassurance.

Parenthood is a team effort, and seeking support—whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals—doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you’re willing to put your family’s well-being first, even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers. And let’s be honest—none of us do! Sometimes, all you can do is ask the question, take a deep breath, and figure it out one step at a time.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of Matt’s proudest moments as a dad is watching Ethan open doors for strangers. “We’ve often been complimented on it by people,” he shared.

Parenthood isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about celebrating the small wins. Seeing our kids display kindness and respect, even in seemingly minor ways, is a reminder that we’re making progress as parents. Those moments, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be celebrated.

Conclusion: What We’ve Learned About Parenthood

Parenthood has taught Matt and me more about patience, grace, and the art of not losing our minds than we ever thought possible. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s packed with moments that make the chaos and hard days worth it—like when the kids hug you for no reason… or finally remember to flush the toilet.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that parenthood is less about having it all figured out and more about figuring it out as you go. It’s messy, unpredictable, and humbling—like stepping on Legos at midnight—but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. And hey, if the kids end up in therapy one day, at least we can say we tried our best!

If you enjoyed reading about Matt’s perspective on parenthood, subscribe to Our Family Experiment for more real-life parenting stories and tips. Don’t forget to grab your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you sign up!

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Family Life

Balancing Work, Parenting, and Personal Time

by Denise Wright

Balancing work, parenting, and personal time often feels like a juggling act with no manual. As a mom, I know how overwhelming it can be to meet deadlines, keep the house running, and still carve out time for yourself. The truth is, we can’t do it all perfectly—but with a few strategies, we can create a rhythm that works for our families and ourselves.

Let me tell you, I’ve been there. Mid-thought on a work project, and suddenly, my kids, God love them, have the most pressing questions—always at the most inopportune times. Add to that living in someone else’s home, without your own space, and it feels like the chaos is magnified. It’s tough, but these experiences have taught me a lot, and I’m excited to share some of the ways we’re learning to balance it all.

1. Embrace the Power of a Schedule

Having a schedule isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Start by blocking time for work, parenting, and personal care. Even a loose plan can make a big difference in managing the chaos.

This past Friday, Matt and I planned a date night. We sent the kids to my sister’s house for a sleepover so we could have an uninterrupted deep discussion about our budget and set goals for the next five years. It was a much-needed moment to recalibrate as a team. Thankfully, our trusty See It Bigger Planner kept everything organized because we had a lot to cover!

At the end of the day, having a plan helps reduce the stress of life’s inevitable surprises. A great plan gives you a sense of control in what often feels like uncontrollable circumstances. As we’ve learned in 5 Parenting Lessons We’ve Learned the Hard Way, flexibility is key—because even the best plans require adjustments.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

One of the biggest lessons we’re learning—and trying hard to implement—is setting boundaries between work and family time. This is not easy. When you work remotely or for yourself, it’s tempting for your family to see you at your computer and assume you’re available.

Communicating your work hours is critical. Let your family know when you’re working and when you’ll be fully present with them. And when it’s time to log off, honor that commitment. It’s not just about getting work done; it’s about showing your family that they are a priority, too.

3. Delegate and Accept Help

You don’t have to do everything. Get the kids involved with age-appropriate chores, and don’t hesitate to lean on your support system. For us, it’s a team effort. Matt and I divide tasks based on who’s available and best suited for them. The kids help, too—whether it’s cleaning their rooms or caring for the dogs, every little bit counts.

Sometimes, outside help is a lifesaver. Whether it’s a family member offering to babysit or a food delivery service like DoorDash, don’t be afraid to say yes when help is offered. You’re not failing by asking for assistance—you’re being resourceful.

4. Make Time for Yourself

This one is easier said than done, but personal time is critical. Whether it’s 10 minutes of journaling, a long shower, or pursuing a hobby, prioritize activities that recharge you.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. The other day, I wasn’t feeling well, and we had a grocery pickup scheduled. Matt graciously offered to handle it for me. Normally, I’d push through, but I knew resting was the best choice for everyone.

If you don’t have a spouse or partner, reach out to a trusted friend or family member when you need help. And don’t underestimate the value of community—whether it’s a church group or an online parenting forum, support is always available if you’re willing to ask.

One thing I’ll add here, as someone who has been on the receiving end of being that trusted friend or family member, is this: don’t take that person for granted. A heartfelt “thank you” is a great start and far better than nothing, but consider going a step further. Just because they love you and want to help doesn’t mean they aren’t setting aside their own responsibilities to assist you. Show your appreciation in tangible ways to honor their generosity and the effort they’ve made to support you.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Balancing work, parenting, and personal time isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about celebrating the small wins that keep you moving forward.

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to overlook small accomplishments. But each goal reached—no matter how small—is progress. Whether it’s finishing a work project, sneaking in a quiet cup of tea, or getting the kids to bed on time, these moments matter. Acknowledging them reminds you that you’re doing enough, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Conclusion

Finding balance isn’t about fitting everything into one perfect day. It’s about creating harmony over time. By planning, setting boundaries, and giving yourself grace, you can make space for work, family, and yourself without burning out.

You don’t have to be superhuman to be successful. Success doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly—it means showing up, giving your best, and not neglecting yourself in the process. YOU matter. And trust me, your family sees and appreciates all that you do, even on the days when you don’t feel like you’ve done enough.

How do you manage the juggling act of work, parenting, and personal time? Share your tips with us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com or Facebook and subscribe to our blog for more insights on navigating the chaos of family life.

Faith and Family

How to Manage Parenting Stress During the Holidays

by Denise Wright

The holidays are a magical time, but let’s be honest—they can also make it difficult to manage parenting stress, inevitably taking things to a whole new level. Between coordinating schedules, shopping for gifts, and managing the inevitable sugar-induced meltdowns, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But don’t worry—you’re not alone, and there are ways to handle the chaos while still enjoying the season.

1. Plan Ahead to Tame Holiday Stress

One of the best ways to start managing stress is to get ahead of the chaos. Use a family calendar or planner to organize events, shopping lists, and meal plans. When everything is written down, it’s easier to see what’s coming up and avoid last-minute panic.

This is something Matt and I have started doing since being back in Oklahoma, living with family especially. Not only do we need to keep track of our own lives, but on occasion, we have to keep up with my parents as well. It’s hard for anyone, let alone busy parents to remember all the things! We started using the See It Bigger Padfolio Planner to help us stay on track with everything from shower schedules to doctor appointments. We can replace the insert every year which makes it convenient. Don’t make it harder than it has to be. Work smarter, not harder! Anything you can do to help manage parenting stress should be a top priority in my opinion!

2. Simplify Your Gift-Giving

You don’t have to do it all! Stick to a simple gift-giving formula, like the popular “Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read.” This not only reduces holiday stress but also keeps the budget in check.

I enjoy giving gifts, but don’t you dare ask me what I want or need because I don’t have a clue! As a mom, I’m always thinking about what everyone else wants or needs. I used to get so irritated with my mom when I was younger and would ask her to tell me what she wanted for Christmas or her birthday. She’d say, “I have no idea.” Now here I am… Mrs. I have no idea Jr.

However, when I’m stuck I enjoy visiting Etsy. There is always something there for everyone! I’d tell you what we’re getting the kids and each other… but we all read this blog. So I won’t spoil any surprises. 😉

3. Take Breaks to Recharge

As parents, we’re often so focused on making the holidays perfect for everyone else that we forget about ourselves. Schedule small breaks for self-care—even if it’s just 10 minutes to enjoy a cup of tea or read a book.

For Matt and me, living in someone else’s home makes it challenging to find a quiet space. So, we’ve turned our bedroom into a little getaway suite, complete with my Xbox and TV and Matt’s gaming PC. Most evenings, after the kids are asleep, we unwind together by playing our favorite games and chatting about our day.

It’s honestly my favorite time of the day—especially now that Matt added a wax warmer to his desk that looks like a miniature fire burning! It sets such a cozy, relaxing mood in the room and fills the air with all the holiday scents we love.

4. Delegate and Ask for Help

Remember, you don’t have to do everything alone. Enlist your partner, kids, or extended family to pitch in with decorating, wrapping, or cooking. Sharing the load can reduce parenting stress significantly. Which reminds me… If I don’t put up the kids’ miniature Christmas tree this weekend for them to decorate, they might never let me live it down!

This week in Children’s Church the kids’ teacher brought them each these scratch art ornaments to design however they wanted. I was blown away when my 11-year-old son brought his ornament to show me after church. Nobody suggested to him what to scratch into this ornament, but they had just been learning about the Virgin Mary and her Virgin birth. Didn’t the kids do such a good job?!

5. Prioritize Family Time

It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness, but some of the most cherished memories are the simplest ones. Set aside time for family traditions, like baking cookies or watching a favorite holiday movie together. These moments can ease holiday stress and bring joy to everyone. Do what works for you and your family.

My mother is great about pulling the kids into the kitchen to help her bake cookies. She’s already started her holiday baking spree to hand out trays of cookies to her neighbors. DO NOT touch the cookies. That’s a really difficult thing to do when she so rudely makes it smell like a holiday baker’s market in here. I prefer to do things outside of the kitchen with my kids because the kitchen is my space. HA! This is how I manage parenting stress. I avoid moments that are bound to cause me stress because I know myself pretty well.

Haven’t developed any of your own family traditions for the holidays? I’ll let you borrow one of ours! We love going to our local grocery store and picking up a gingerbread house-making kit to do together. We’ve even been known to order a special kit online a time or two. Check out this adorable gingerbread barn. Or if you’re like me and aren’t a fan of the taste of gingerbread… this chocolate cookie house is a must!

6. Keep Expectations Realistic

Not everything has to be perfect. The tree doesn’t need to look like it belongs in a magazine, and it’s okay if the cookies come out a little burnt. Embrace the imperfections—they’re often the moments you’ll laugh about later.

This is one I’m still working on, to be honest. My nerves and OCD get the better of me. Not gonna lie, I’ve been refraining from adjusting the garland on my mother’s Christmas tree because it isn’t evenly placed toward the bottom. THE GAP IS TO MUCH! I digress. As I was saying… not everything has to be perfect. HA!

Pro-tip: maybe write that on your hand this holiday season so you don’t forget.

7. Focus on Gratitude

During the hectic moments of the holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of to-do lists, gift shopping, and family gatherings. But when you feel overwhelmed, take a step back and reflect on what truly matters—what you’re grateful for. The holidays are about so much more than the presents we give or receive; they’re about celebrating the ultimate gift given to all of us—the birth of Jesus Christ.

This season is an opportunity to remember God’s incredible love for us, demonstrated in the gift of His Son, who came to bring hope, joy, and salvation. Share this profound truth with your family as you talk about what you’re thankful for. Encourage your kids to think about the blessings in their lives and how they can share that same love and kindness with others.

By grounding your family in gratitude and focusing on the real reason for the season, you can create a holiday filled with meaning, connection, and joy. After all, it’s not about the gifts under the tree, but the gift of grace that was given to us all. ✨

Closing Thoughts to Manage Parenting Stress

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be memorable. If you think about it, your most memorable holiday moments probably weren’t these grand expensive gestures. But the simple smell of Grandma baking a card table full of homemade pies or riding on your brand new bean bag down the basement stairs with your siblings hoping mom doesn’t stop you.

By taking a step back, planning ahead, and prioritizing what truly matters, you can enjoy the season while keeping parenting stress at bay. Remember, the best gift you can give your family is a happy, present version of yourself.

If these tips resonate with you, share your own strategies for managing parenting stress during the holidays by sending us a quick email to contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com. Let’s navigate this season together!

From Our Family Experiment to yours… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Family Traditions
Faith and Family

The Importance of Building Strong Family Traditions

by Denise Wright

Family traditions are more than just routines—they’re the threads that weave together a family’s identity. From simple rituals like Friday movie nights to elaborate holiday celebrations, traditions help create a sense of belonging, stability, and love within a family. They remind us of who we are and what we stand for, even amidst life’s constant changes.

In this post, we’ll explore why building traditions is vital for family stability and share tips for creating meaningful rituals that your family will cherish for generations.

Why Are Family Traditions So Important?

1. They Create a Sense of Belonging

Family traditions provide a sense of connection that strengthens family bonds. Whether it’s a weekly Sunday dinner or an annual camping trip, these consistent practices remind everyone that they are part of something bigger.

In today’s world, the concept of family is being redefined in ways that often stray from its biblical roots. The family unit, as God designed it, is foundational to society—a husband and wife committed to one another, raising children in love and faith. Yet, modern culture often diminishes the importance of this sacred institution, promoting ideas that normalize divorce for reasons like “falling out of love” or redefining family in ways that stray from biblical teachings.

This shift can lead to confusion, instability, and the loss of the deep meaning and purpose God intended for families. Family traditions rooted in biblical principles help ground us in God’s design, creating a firm foundation that honors His plan and provides a sense of security and identity for children.

2. They Promote Family Stability

Traditions offer a comforting sense of predictability, which becomes especially valuable during times of change or uncertainty. Children thrive on routine, and knowing certain traditions will always be there provides a sense of security and stability.

Simple rituals, like a bedtime routine or a family holiday tradition, can serve as anchors, offering comfort and reassurance even during the most challenging times.

During one period when we lived with my parents, our kids shared a room with a bunk bed. We developed a nightly routine together: family devotion, prayer, and lights out. Our prayers were heartfelt moments where we asked God to watch over each child, bless them with restful sleep, and give them sweet dreams. When we eventually moved into our own home and the kids had their own rooms again, they wouldn’t let me get away with praying for just one of them. They insisted on hearing me pray for each other in their separate rooms. Addison would remind me, “Mommy, you didn’t pray for Bubba.” “Of course, I did… when I tucked Bubba into bed,” I’d respond.

This small tradition became a meaningful way for our children to feel connected, both to their family and to God. It wasn’t just about routine; it was about the love, faith, and reassurance that our prayers symbolized. Moments like these show the lasting impact of traditions—they provide stability in uncertain times and create a legacy of connection and care that children carry with them for years to come.

3. They Pass Down Values and Culture

Family traditions are a powerful way to instill values and share cultural heritage. By involving your kids in meaningful rituals—whether it’s holiday celebrations, cherished family recipes, or cozy storytelling nights—you’re passing down a part of who you are. These moments teach your children about respect, gratitude, and love while ensuring your family’s legacy continues for generations.

When Matt and I got married, we quickly realized our family traditions couldn’t have been more different. Now and then, I’ll share a story about a tradition from my family or a quirky habit of one of my siblings. Without fail, Matt will respond with, “Yep, we were definitely raised by two very different sets of parents.”

I grew up in a Christian home. My father, a minister, and retired pastor, and my mother who still embodies the role of the quintessential pastor’s wife—creative, compassionate, and always brimming with ideas, even as she works tirelessly to help others while maintaining a full-time secular job. Sitting still isn’t her strong suit; she’s always busy, often worrying about everyone else’s needs.

Matt, on the other hand, grew up in a non-Christian home where drinking, cussing, and a more casual approach to family life were the norm.

Despite these differences, one thing remains constant: both of our families have traditions. Over the years, we’ve taken pieces from each of our upbringings and blended them into something uniquely ours. These combined traditions have become the foundation of what we pass on to our children—traditions we hope they will carry forward to their own families one day, Lord willing.

How to Build Meaningful Family Traditions

1. Start Simple

You don’t need elaborate plans or a big budget to build family traditions. Start with something small and meaningful, like a game night, a monthly picnic, or a “family gratitude jar.”

The key is consistency—make it something your family looks forward to and can rely on.

ome of our family traditions that come to mind are simple yet deeply meaningful. For example, every Thanksgiving, Matt insists on having his mother’s cornbread dressing. It’s a recipe he cherishes, especially now that his mom has passed. Making it each year is more than just preparing a dish—it’s a way of honoring her memory and keeping her presence alive during the holidays.

Another cherished tradition is letting the kids pick out a new Christmas ornament every year for the tree. It’s a small tradition, but over time, our tree has become a timeline of memories. Each ornament tells a story—what they were interested in that year, or even a reminder of the season of life we were in as a family. Unboxing those ornaments every December is like taking a stroll through a scrapbook of our lives.

Even our dogs are included in our family traditions! Every year, for each of their birthdays, we take them to PetSmart. The kids look forward to this just as much as the dogs do. It’s become a ritual: we let them pick out a new toy and a special treat, and the joy it brings is something we all share.

These traditions, while seemingly small, weave together the fabric of our family life. They offer comfort, joy, and a sense of continuity—reminding us of the value of honoring the past while creating new memories together.

2. Get Everyone Involved

The best family traditions are those that reflect everyone’s interests and personalities. Ask your family members for ideas and ensure that everyone has a say.

For instance, let each person choose a favorite meal for family dinner night or pick a holiday activity that everyone can enjoy together.

One tradition my mother started, and that I’ve continued with my own family, is letting everyone choose their favorite dinner and dessert for their birthday meal. This tradition often means I’m cooking up a storm in the kitchen—unless, of course, it’s my own birthday. On my special day, we usually end up going out to eat, or on rare occasions, Matt will step in and take over the kitchen, cooking or grilling something I love. It’s a fun and meaningful tradition that makes each birthday feel extra special.

3. Make It Unique

Traditions don’t have to follow societal norms—they should reflect what makes your family unique. Whether it’s creating a yearly playlist for your family or hosting a “family awards night” to celebrate each other’s accomplishments, building traditions that are truly yours adds an extra layer of meaning.

Growing up in tornado-prone Oklahoma, my family’s favorite movie was Twister. We can quote it word for word, and by the end of the movie, you’ll either be wondering what’s wrong with us or be completely sucked in—just like the “suck zone”! Now, after 13 years of being part of my family, my husband has embraced our quirky hand gestures and sayings, all of which stemmed from that film.

We always thought our traditions—rooted in Twister—were uniquely ours, until one day my dad saw a friend of his doing the exact same things with his own kids. That’s when we realized Twister had made its way into more families than we realized!

4. Be Flexible

While consistency is important, I’ve learned that flexibility is what truly allows traditions to grow and evolve with our family. As the kids get older and circumstances change, I’ve come to realize that being open to adjusting our rituals helps keep them meaningful and enjoyable. It’s the adaptability that allows these traditions to stay relevant and continue bringing us together.

For example, our bedtime story routine, which was once a nightly ritual when the kids were younger, has naturally shifted over time. While we still enjoy reading together, it’s also become a time for us to share more personal moments, like praying for each other or talking about our day. As the kids get older, the stories and conversations we have together become richer, and it’s been wonderful to watch them evolve.

Adapting Traditions to Grow with Your Family

Another example of how we adjust traditions is how we celebrate birthdays. When the kids were younger, it was all about the party and the toys, but now that they’re getting older, we’re finding that we prefer to focus on spending quality time together. Whether it’s doing something special like volunteering or simply reflecting on the past year, our birthday celebrations are becoming more about connection and creating lasting memories, rather than just gifts and parties.

I think the flexibility in our traditions also reflects the blend of both mine and Matt’s backgrounds. We’ve both brought pieces of our own family traditions into ours, and the way we’ve combined them has made them even more meaningful. As our children grow, the traditions we’ve started together evolve too. Something as simple as our bedtime prayers, which once focused on the comfort of routine, now reflects our children’s personalities and needs, and it’s beautiful to see how they contribute their own ideas to it.

Flexibility ensures that the traditions we’ve built will continue to hold significance in the years to come, no matter how much our family changes. It allows us to celebrate who we are and how we’ve grown, while still keeping that same foundation of love, faith, and connection.

Examples of Family Traditions to Build Stability

  • Weekly Rituals: Family game night, movie night, or a special breakfast.
  • Seasonal Activities: Picking pumpkins in the fall, decorating the Christmas tree, or summer beach trips.
  • Milestone Celebrations: Celebrating birthdays with handwritten letters or hosting a “first day of school” photo tradition.
  • Faith-Based Practices: Attending worship services together, reading devotionals, or participating in service projects as a family.
  • Cultural Celebrations: Honoring heritage through recipes, stories, or traditional festivities.

Traditions Create Lifelong Memories

The importance of family traditions goes beyond the present moment. They become the stories your children will tell, the practices they’ll carry forward, and the moments they’ll treasure long after they leave home.

By intentionally building traditions, you’re giving your family the gift of stability, love, and a shared identity. In a constantly changing world, these rituals remind us of the strength and beauty of family.

What Are Your Family Traditions?
We’d love to hear about the traditions that make your family unique. Share them with us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com!