Parent managing anxiety while holding a child’s hand in a peaceful outdoor setting, symbolizing support and connection.
Parenting Challenges

Parenting Through Anxiety: Coping Mechanisms That Help

by Denise Wright

Introduction: Finding Peace Amid the Chaos

Parenting is tough. Parenting with anxiety? That can feel downright impossible some days. As a mom with social anxiety, I know how overwhelming it can be to balance the responsibilities of raising kids while managing your mental health. The constant mental chatter, fear of judgment, and the endless “what-ifs” can make even the simplest tasks feel daunting.

But here’s the thing—I’ve learned that anxiety doesn’t have to define your parenting journey. With time, trial, and (a lot of) grace, I’ve discovered coping mechanisms that truly help. In this post, I’ll share my experiences and practical tips to support you navigate parenting through anxiety.

What Is Anxiety and How Does It Impact Parenting?

Anxiety is more than just feeling worried or stressed. It’s a mental health condition that can manifest in physical, emotional, and cognitive ways. For parents, anxiety often amplifies common challenges:

  • Overthinking every decision (“Am I doing this right?”).
  • Fear of judgment from other parents.
  • Avoiding social interactions like playdates or school events.
  • Struggling with perfectionism and setting impossible standards for yourself.

Anxiety impacts your ability to be present, which can sometimes create feelings of guilt. But the good news is acknowledging it is the first step toward change.

I often hear people from my parent’s generation say, “Anxiety wasn’t a thing back in my day.” While I respect their experiences, my response is always the same: Just because something didn’t have a name or wasn’t openly discussed doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. It simply means people likely suffered in silence, not knowing what to call the heavy burden they were carrying or how to deal with it.

The truth is, that anxiety and depression have been part of the human experience for as long as we’ve existed. Even in the Bible, some of the most faithful and revered figures wrestled with these struggles. Their stories show us that experiencing anxiety or depression doesn’t make you weak or lacking in faith—it makes you human.

Take King David, for example. In the Psalms, he pours out his heart to God, expressing deep sorrow, fear, and abandonment. Psalm 6:6 says, “I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.” David, a man after God’s own heart, wasn’t immune to the overwhelming emotions that life can bring.

Then there’s Elijah, a prophet who witnessed God’s power in extraordinary ways, yet he, too, experienced a season of deep despair. After a great victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah fled for his life and prayed to die. In 1 Kings 19:4, he said, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.” Exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling utterly alone, Elijah found himself in a dark place. But God didn’t leave him there—He ministered to Elijah through an angel, providing food, water, and rest, demonstrating His care in Elijah’s weakest moment.

Even Jesus, the Son of God, experienced profound anguish during his time on earth. In the Garden of Gethsemane, as he prepared to face the cross, Jesus said to his disciples, “My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death” (Mark 14:34). In his agony, he prayed with such intensity that his sweat was “as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (Luke 22:44). Jesus, fully God and fully man, understood the crushing weight of human suffering and turned to the Father in prayer.

These examples remind us that anxiety and depression are not new phenomena. They’ve been with us through the ages, often unspoken but undeniably real. The difference today is that we have the vocabulary and resources to address them—counseling, community, and, for many, a strengthening of faith.

So, when someone tells me that “anxiety wasn’t a thing back in the day,” I gently remind them that it absolutely was. The difference is that now we are learning to face it, name it, and deal with it—just as many before us have done, often leaning on God’s Word, His presence, and His provision. By acknowledging these struggles, we create space for healing, connection, and hope for future generations.

Grounding Techniques for Parenting with Anxiety

One of the biggest challenges of living with anxiety is how it steals your ability to stay present in the moment. You might be at the park with your kids, but instead of enjoying the laughter and play, your mind is racing—worrying about tomorrow’s dentist appointment, replaying that awkward comment you made last week, or imagining uncomfortable interactions you might have with other parents nearby.

To counteract this, I’ve learned to practice grounding techniques. My favorite is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

  1. Name 5 things you can see around you.
  2. Name 4 things you can touch.
  3. Name 3 things you can hear.
  4. Name 2 things you can smell.
  5. Name 1 thing you can taste.

It sounds simple and possibly ridiculous, but it works wonders to bring your focus back to the here and now—where your kids need you most.

Routines That Help Reduce Parenting Anxiety

Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, and as a parent, life is full of unpredictable moments. While I’d love to say our family has a perfectly consistent routine to minimize anxiety triggers, the truth is, we’re still figuring it out.

Our mornings are often a work in progress. The kids usually wake up and head straight for their tablets, waiting until Matt or I come out of the bedroom to start the day. From there, it’s a mix of gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) reminders:

  • Feed the dogs and let them outside.
  • Go to the bathroom.
  • Eat breakfast (if they haven’t already).
  • Get out of your pajamas and get started on schoolwork.

It’s not picture-perfect, and some mornings feel more chaotic than others. But what I’ve learned is that even small efforts toward consistency can make a difference. We’re working on setting clear expectations and creating a routine that helps everyone—kids and parents—start the day on the right foot.

If your mornings feel more “wing it” than “well-oiled machine,” know that you’re not alone. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Even the smallest steps toward structure can bring a sense of calm to your day. And honestly, some days, just making it through is enough.

Building a Support System

This one was a tough lesson for me. As a mom with social anxiety, the idea of asking for help often feels like admitting failure. On top of that, my mind tends to process thoughts more slowly than others, so even when I muster up the courage to speak, getting my words out can feel like a monumental task.

But over time, I’ve learned that parenting isn’t meant to be a solo journey. Having a support system—whether it’s your partner, a close friend, or even an online parenting group—can make all the difference.

Here are a few ways I’ve started leaning into my support system:

  • Texting a friend when I need encouragement.
  • Communicating with my spouse when I just need the space to step away and decompress.
  • Joining an online mom’s group where I can connect with others who truly understand.

You don’t have to share every detail of your anxiety, but letting people in, even just a little, can lighten the load. Sometimes, simply knowing you’re not alone is the first step toward finding strength in your journey.

Talking to Your Kids About Anxiety

One of the best gifts you can give your kids is emotional intelligence. Talk to them about anxiety in an age-appropriate way. This not only normalizes mental health discussions but also helps them build empathy.

For example, I’ve explained to my kids that “Mommy sometimes feels nervous in big groups, but I’m working on it.” I also encourage them to share their thoughts whenever they are unsure of how they re feeling.

By modeling openness, you’re teaching your kids that it’s okay to have hard feelings—and that they can be managed. Never punish your child for being human.

On a side note, it’s important not to let anxiety become the go-to explanation for everything in your household. I’ve noticed a cultural shift where the pendulum has swung from “anxiety doesn’t exist” to “everything happens because of anxiety.” While it’s vital to recognize and address anxiety when it’s genuinely present, we also need to acknowledge that sometimes, life just happens.

Not everything can—or should—be attributed to a mental health condition. Challenges, mistakes, or even bad days aren’t always the result of anxiety. Sometimes they’re simply a part of being human. Teaching this balance to our kids is especially important.

For example, if your child struggles with a tough math problem or feels nervous about a new experience, it’s okay to validate their feelings without immediately labeling it as anxiety. Encouraging resilience and problem-solving skills alongside emotional awareness can help them navigate life’s ups and downs without always defaulting to a diagnosis.

Mental health awareness is a powerful tool, but like any tool, it needs to be used wisely. By maintaining this balance, we can ensure that anxiety is addressed thoughtfully without overshadowing the broader scope of life’s challenges and growth opportunities.

Self-Care Strategies to Ease Parenting Anxiety

I know, I know. Self-care feels impossible, right? But hear me out—it doesn’t have to mean spa days or weekends away. It can be as simple as:

  • Waking up 15 minutes earlier for quiet time with your coffee (or custom redbull mix “go-go juice”, in my case).
  • Take a long shower while your partner watches the kids.
  • Listening to a favorite podcast while folding laundry.

When you’re running on empty, anxiety has a way of taking over. Prioritizing small moments for yourself helps you recharge so you can show up as the parent your kids need.

When to Seek Professional Help for Anxiety

There’s no shame in needing extra support. While I’m not currently in therapy, I know it can be a game-changer for managing anxiety and unpacking deeper issues. I’m working with my doctor to take that step because I’ve seen how valuable it can be for others, and I know it’s something I need in my journey as well.

If therapy feels like too big of a leap right now, there are smaller steps you can take to start managing anxiety. Books, podcasts, or apps designed for mental health support can be great tools to begin with. Apps like Headspace and Calm have been helpful for me in creating moments of calm and mindfulness in my day-to-day life.

Remember, seeking help—whether through therapy or other resources—is a sign of strength, not weakness. Taking those first steps, no matter how small, can make a big difference. You’re not alone in this, and there’s always support available.

Encouragement for Parents Living with Anxiety

Parenting through anxiety isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, even when it’s hard. Some days will be messy. Others will be magical. Through it all, remember that you are not alone.

Your kids don’t need a perfect parent—they need you. And by taking steps to care for yourself, you’re teaching them resilience, empathy, and the importance of prioritizing mental health.

Conclusion: Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

What coping mechanisms have helped you navigate parenting through anxiety? Share your tips with us at [email protected]—I’d love to hear from you!

If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with another parent who might need encouragement today. And if you’re looking for more relatable stories, tips, and honest conversations about parenting, check out our podcast, Our Family Experiment. You can find where to listen here.

Parenting isn’t easy, but together, we can navigate the ups and downs with grace, humor, and a little extra support. You’ve got this!

guilt
Family Life

Dealing with Parental Guilt: Letting Go of the Perfect Parent Myth

by Denise Wright

Dealing with Parental Guilt and Letting Go

Parenthood is one of the most rewarding journeys, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges—one of the biggest being parental guilt. Whether it’s feeling like you’re not spending enough time with your kids, questioning a disciplinary decision, or comparing yourself to other parents, guilt can creep in and weigh you down.

The good news is that you’re not alone. Guilt is something every parent faces, but it doesn’t have to control your parenting journey. Let’s explore why guilt happens, how it affects us, and most importantly, practical ways to let it go and focus on what truly matters.

Understanding Parental Guilt

Guilt is an emotion all parents experience at some point. It often stems from high expectations, societal pressure, or our own inner voices telling us we’re falling short. Here are some common examples you might relate to:

  • You forgot to pack their lunch for school.
  • You missed their big game or recital because of a work deadline.
  • You snapped at them after a long and stressful day.

These moments are inevitable, but they don’t define your worth as a parent. Guilt can actually be a sign of how much you care. However, when left unchecked, it can spiral into feelings of inadequacy or even lead to burnout.

The Impact of Comparison on Guilt

One of the biggest contributors to parental guilt is comparison. It’s easy to look at other parents on social media or in your community and feel like you’re not measuring up. But here’s the truth: what you see is only a highlight reel.

Every family has its struggles, and comparing yourself to others only magnifies feelings of guilt. Instead, focus on your unique strengths and what works best for your family.

How to Let Go of the Guilt: Practical Tips

1. Reframe Your Perspective

Instead of viewing guilt as a sign of failure, see it as a reminder of your love for your kids. Acknowledge the feeling, but don’t let it consume you.

For example, if you missed a school event, remind yourself of the countless other ways you’ve shown up for your child. Focus on the bigger picture rather than one isolated moment.

2. Embrace Imperfection

Perfection doesn’t exist in parenting, and chasing it will only leave you exhausted. Embrace the fact that mistakes are a natural part of the journey.

For instance, if you forget something important, own up to it. Apologizing and taking responsibility can teach your children valuable lessons about accountability and resilience.

3. Focus on Quality Over Quantity

It’s not about how much time you spend with your kids but the quality of that time.

Turn off distractions and be fully present during the moments you share. Whether it’s a family game night, bedtime stories, or a quick chat about their day, these intentional interactions leave lasting impressions.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Would you criticize a fellow parent for making the same mistakes you do? Of course not. So why hold yourself to impossible standards?

Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d extend to a friend. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.

5. Communicate with Your Kids

Open communication is a powerful tool for building trust and alleviating guilt.

If you feel guilty about losing your temper, apologize and explain why. For example: “I’m sorry for yelling earlier. I was feeling overwhelmed, but that’s no excuse. Let’s talk about what happened and how we can handle it better next time.”

This not only models accountability but also shows your kids that it’s okay to express emotions in a healthy way.

Additional Strategies for Letting Go of Guilt

  1. Create a Support Network
    Parenting wasn’t meant to be done alone. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and remind you of your worth. This could be fellow parents, close friends, or even online communities where you can share experiences and advice.
  2. Celebrate Small Wins
    Instead of dwelling on what you didn’t do, focus on the small victories. Did you get the kids to school on time? Did you share a laugh over dinner? These moments matter more than you realize.
  3. Focus on Gratitude
    Shift your perspective by focusing on what you’re grateful for in your parenting journey. Gratitude can transform guilt into appreciation for the moments you’ve been given.
  4. Teach Your Kids About Grace
    When you extend grace to yourself, you teach your kids to do the same—for themselves and for others. This creates a culture of understanding and forgiveness in your home.

The Impact of Letting Go of Guilt

Letting go of guilt allows you to be more present and intentional in your parenting. It clears the emotional clutter, giving you space to focus on what truly matters.

Your kids don’t need you to be perfect—they need you to be present. By releasing unrealistic expectations, you’ll find greater joy in the little moments and build stronger, more authentic connections with your children.

The Ripple Effect on Your Family

When you let go of guilt, you also create a healthier environment for your children. They learn that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn and grow from them. This mindset builds resilience and emotional intelligence, equipping them to navigate life’s challenges with confidence.

Moving Forward as a Parent

Dealing with parental guilt is an ongoing process, but every step you take to let it go makes a difference. Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, learning, and growing alongside your children.

Need more support? Check out our post on 10 Tips for Strengthening Family Bonds for more ideas on creating meaningful connections with your kids.

Let’s embrace progress over perfection—together.

Family Life

Balancing Work, Parenting, and Personal Time

by Denise Wright

Balancing work, parenting, and personal time often feels like a juggling act with no manual. As a mom, I know how overwhelming it can be to meet deadlines, keep the house running, and still carve out time for yourself. The truth is, we can’t do it all perfectly—but with a few strategies, we can create a rhythm that works for our families and ourselves.

Let me tell you, I’ve been there. Mid-thought on a work project, and suddenly, my kids, God love them, have the most pressing questions—always at the most inopportune times. Add to that living in someone else’s home, without your own space, and it feels like the chaos is magnified. It’s tough, but these experiences have taught me a lot, and I’m excited to share some of the ways we’re learning to balance it all.

1. Embrace the Power of a Schedule

Having a schedule isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Start by blocking time for work, parenting, and personal care. Even a loose plan can make a big difference in managing the chaos.

This past Friday, Matt and I planned a date night. We sent the kids to my sister’s house for a sleepover so we could have an uninterrupted deep discussion about our budget and set goals for the next five years. It was a much-needed moment to recalibrate as a team. Thankfully, our trusty See It Bigger Planner kept everything organized because we had a lot to cover!

At the end of the day, having a plan helps reduce the stress of life’s inevitable surprises. A great plan gives you a sense of control in what often feels like uncontrollable circumstances. As we’ve learned in 5 Parenting Lessons We’ve Learned the Hard Way, flexibility is key—because even the best plans require adjustments.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

One of the biggest lessons we’re learning—and trying hard to implement—is setting boundaries between work and family time. This is not easy. When you work remotely or for yourself, it’s tempting for your family to see you at your computer and assume you’re available.

Communicating your work hours is critical. Let your family know when you’re working and when you’ll be fully present with them. And when it’s time to log off, honor that commitment. It’s not just about getting work done; it’s about showing your family that they are a priority, too.

3. Delegate and Accept Help

You don’t have to do everything. Get the kids involved with age-appropriate chores, and don’t hesitate to lean on your support system. For us, it’s a team effort. Matt and I divide tasks based on who’s available and best suited for them. The kids help, too—whether it’s cleaning their rooms or caring for the dogs, every little bit counts.

Sometimes, outside help is a lifesaver. Whether it’s a family member offering to babysit or a food delivery service like DoorDash, don’t be afraid to say yes when help is offered. You’re not failing by asking for assistance—you’re being resourceful.

4. Make Time for Yourself

This one is easier said than done, but personal time is critical. Whether it’s 10 minutes of journaling, a long shower, or pursuing a hobby, prioritize activities that recharge you.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. The other day, I wasn’t feeling well, and we had a grocery pickup scheduled. Matt graciously offered to handle it for me. Normally, I’d push through, but I knew resting was the best choice for everyone.

If you don’t have a spouse or partner, reach out to a trusted friend or family member when you need help. And don’t underestimate the value of community—whether it’s a church group or an online parenting forum, support is always available if you’re willing to ask.

One thing I’ll add here, as someone who has been on the receiving end of being that trusted friend or family member, is this: don’t take that person for granted. A heartfelt “thank you” is a great start and far better than nothing, but consider going a step further. Just because they love you and want to help doesn’t mean they aren’t setting aside their own responsibilities to assist you. Show your appreciation in tangible ways to honor their generosity and the effort they’ve made to support you.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Balancing work, parenting, and personal time isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about celebrating the small wins that keep you moving forward.

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to overlook small accomplishments. But each goal reached—no matter how small—is progress. Whether it’s finishing a work project, sneaking in a quiet cup of tea, or getting the kids to bed on time, these moments matter. Acknowledging them reminds you that you’re doing enough, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Conclusion

Finding balance isn’t about fitting everything into one perfect day. It’s about creating harmony over time. By planning, setting boundaries, and giving yourself grace, you can make space for work, family, and yourself without burning out.

You don’t have to be superhuman to be successful. Success doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly—it means showing up, giving your best, and not neglecting yourself in the process. YOU matter. And trust me, your family sees and appreciates all that you do, even on the days when you don’t feel like you’ve done enough.

How do you manage the juggling act of work, parenting, and personal time? Share your tips with us at [email protected] or Facebook and subscribe to our blog for more insights on navigating the chaos of family life.

Parenting Challenges

5 Parenting Lessons We’ve Learned the Hard Way

by Denise Wright

Introduction

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a journey of joy, love, and growth—but also one filled with unexpected hurdles. Over the years, we’ve faced plenty of family challenges that taught us parenting lessons we couldn’t have learned any other way. While we didn’t always handle things perfectly (and still don’t), each experience helped shape us into the parents we are today and continues to shape us into the parents we will be tomorrow. Every day, we strive to be better than we were yesterday.

Here are five parenting lessons we’ve learned the hard way, hoping they’ll encourage you on your parenting journey.

1. Always Put God First

This is a lesson we’ve learned (and relearned) time and time again. Early in our parenting journey, we made the mistake of thinking we could do it all on our own. But when the family challenges piled up—financial stress, health scares, and emotional struggles—we realized that everything falls apart when we put God second.

Now, we wake up reminding ourselves that if we keep God before us, nothing can stand against us. We lean on our faith during tough times and teach our children that God is the ultimate provider. Does that mean we’ve mastered this thing called life and nothing ever goes wrong? Absolutely not! But it does mean that when the day inevitably brings heartache, stress, and the great unknown—like your kids calling out for you for the 100th time in the last 10 minutes while you’re trying desperately to have your own thoughts (too specific?)—God is there. He’s already in tomorrow before we even take our first waking breath.

Parenting lessons don’t always come easy, but this one is foundational to our family’s growth.

Integrating faith into our daily routine has been transformative. Here are some resources that have helped us:

Children’s Bibles: Our Daily Bread is engaging and accessible for kids, making scripture reading and devotion time a shared family joy.

Family Devotional Books: The Kingdom Family Devotional by Tony Evans offers 52 weeks of insightful devotions tailored for families.

2. Quality Time Matters More Than Perfect Plans

We used to think that parenting success was measured by how many picture-perfect moments we could create. But some of our most meaningful family memories have come from the simplest things: a heartfelt conversation at bedtime, a spontaneous game night, or a walk around the neighborhood. These moments are the ones that will be remembered and cherished for years to come.

I once heard a story about a tombstone with only a name and a single line, no dates. When asked why, the family replied, “Because the moment you leave this earth, the only thing that matters is what you did while you were here. It’s the time in between.”

We learned this lesson by burning ourselves out trying to do it all. Now, we focus on presence over perfection, knowing that what our kids truly need is our time and attention. Not every gadget or toy they think they need, but us. Our job is to raise decent human beings who will one day grow into adults, Lord willing, just like you and me. Yikes—no pressure, right?

We’ve found that simple, shared activities often create the most cherished memories. Here are some of our favorites:

Outdoor Activities: Ladderball is an easy game that gets everyone outside and laughing together.

Board Games: Apples to Apples is a family favorite in our house. It always brings laughter to the table and it’s pretty easy for kids but still enjoyable for adults!

3. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

One of the hardest parenting lessons to learn is that you can’t do it all alone. There have been several challenging seasons—including the one we’re in now—where we’ve found ourselves needing to rely on family for support. In fact, we’ve lived with family more than we haven’t during the 12 years we’ve been married. While humbling, it teaches us the value of community and how asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re human.

My father always says, “That’s what family is for!” And he’s right. Yes, it’s humbling. Yes, it requires swallowing your pride. But whether it’s leaning on extended family, friends, or your faith community, never hesitate to seek support when life feels overwhelming.

Building a support network is crucial. These resources have been invaluable:

Parenting Books: Gary Chapman has a variety of books in the self-help genre called “The 5 Love Languages” that have helped us understand and meet our kids’ emotional needs. Whether you have young children or teenagers, he has books to cover each individually, not to mention one for men and women!

4. Mistakes Are Opportunities to Grow

We’ve made plenty of life and parenting mistakes, from flipping a coin to make big decisions to losing our patience and failing to set clear boundaries. But through every misstep, we’ve learned that the goal isn’t perfection—it’s being present and willing to grow.

Every challenge, argument, and tough decision is an opportunity to model resilience, forgiveness, and humility for our kids. After a particularly stressful incident a few months ago, we moved from Montana back to Oklahoma. We left most of our belongings 25 hours away in storage, bringing only the essentials as we moved in with my (Denise’s) parents. Mistakes brought us here. And while mistakes are part of life, they should never be forgotten; they help us learn and grow.

Just the other day, Ethan had a disagreement with his grandmother. He questioned her judgment rather than trusting her intent, which caused frustration all around. We want our kids to listen and obey, but sometimes we forget that they also face stresses and anxieties that they don’t yet know how to process. It’s our job to help them understand what they’re feeling and teach them how to navigate those situations in the future.

If we don’t, they could grow up like many of us adults today—riddled with anxieties we don’t know how to process. So, here’s a novel idea: listen to your kids and give them the same respect you hope to receive from them.

5. Consistency Is Key

Whether it’s bedtime routines, discipline, or family values, one of the most valuable parenting lessons we’ve learned is the importance of consistency. Kids thrive when they know what to expect, and that stability helps build trust and security.

But let’s be honest—staying consistent is hard. Life gets busy, and routines sometimes fall apart, especially when you’re not living in your own home. The key is to keep trying and remember that progress is better than perfection.

You’ve heard the adage, “Practice makes perfect.” In our house, we say, “Practice makes better.”

Conclusion

Parenting is one of life’s greatest adventures, filled with joys, struggles, and invaluable lessons. These five parenting lessons—putting God first, valuing quality time, asking for help, learning from mistakes, and staying consistent—have shaped and continue to shape our family in profound ways.

As you navigate your family challenges, we hope these insights encourage you to embrace the ups and downs of parenting with grace, humility, and faith.

What lessons have you learned the hard way? We’d love to hear your stories! Send us an email at [email protected].