Parenthood - Our Family Experiement

Parenthood 101

Parenthood is a wild, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey. Before becoming a parent, I had plenty of expectations about what raising children would look like. Some of those expectations were accurate, but most were, well, completely off. Nothing fully prepares you for the emotional rollercoaster, the sleepless nights, or the indescribable joy that comes with the journey.

If I could go back in time and have a conversation with my pre-parent self, there’s so much I’d want to share—lessons learned through mistakes, unexpected triumphs, and the beautiful messiness of parenthood. While it’s true that no one gets it perfect, having some insights beforehand could have made the transition a little smoother.

Before writing this post, I sat down with Matt and asked him what he wished he had known before becoming a dad. Together, we reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way. In this post, I’m sharing what both Matt and I wish we had known about parenthood before becoming parents—from the sleepless nights to the everyday joys—and how this journey has shaped our lives in ways we never imagined.

1. Parenthood Redefines Exhaustion (and Joy)

When I asked Matt about the biggest adjustment to sleepless nights and long days, his answer was straightforward: “Having to provide for a kid who couldn’t do anything for himself.” For me, it was the constant worry that I was doing everything wrong or making all the wrong decisions. I quickly learned to trust my instincts when Ethan developed pyloric stenosis at just six weeks old—a moment that taught me the importance of listening to my gut as a parent.

The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. Knowing that someone is entirely dependent on you is both humbling and exhausting. But alongside the hard work comes moments of joy that make it all worthwhile. Watching your child grow, smile, and eventually give you a hug are the priceless moments that redefine what joy means in parenthood.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Matt thought he’d naturally be great at giving advice to his kids. Instead, he’s discovered that it’s something he’s still learning. “Kids don’t always want answers,” he admitted, “and sometimes, I’m not sure what the right advice is.”

We often tell our kids, “We’ve never been the parents of an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old before. Have patience with us as we figure it all out.” And that’s exactly how we came up with the name for our blog and podcast. Parenthood really is one big experiment—trial, and error, and everything in between. Sorry, kids!

Parenthood has shown us that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being present, listening, and showing your kids that you’re willing to learn and grow alongside them. And when we make mistakes… we have gotten pretty good at letting them know and when necessary, apologizing for making said mistakes.

We explore this topic in much greater detail in our eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection. And the best part? We’re giving it away for free to our subscribers! Just enter your email below, hit subscribe, and we’ll send the PDF straight to your inbox shortly after.

3. The Little Things Matter the Most

When I asked Matt about moments that make him feel like he’s doing something right as a dad, his answer was simple: “When they come up and hug me, or I see Ethan open a door for somebody.” I’d have to agree with this one 100%! I love it when the kids come to sit next to me for cuddles or just to ask me how my day is going or how I’m feeling.

Those small acts of kindness and love are a testament to the values we’re instilling in our kids. Watching them demonstrate empathy and respect in their everyday lives is one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood. It’s a reminder that the little things—like modeling kindness and giving hugs—really do make a difference.

4. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Like many parents, Matt admitted that he still compares himself to other dads. “I still do,” he said. And honestly, what parent doesn’t?

It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when social media often highlights picture-perfect parenting moments. But parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about doing what works best for your family and focusing on the values you want to instill in your kids. Letting go of comparison is an ongoing process, but it’s worth the effort for your peace of mind and your family’s happiness.

5. Your Identity Will Shift—and That’s Okay

When I asked Matt how becoming a dad changed him, his answer was straightforward and to the point: “More responsibilities.”

Parenthood shifts your identity in profound ways. For Matt, taking on the role of provider, protector, and mentor has brought a new level of accountability and purpose. While the added responsibilities can feel heavy at times, they’ve also given him a deeper sense of fulfillment and pride in being a dad.

For me, becoming a mom was something I had dreamed about since my early teenage years. I absolutely adored my sister’s girls and couldn’t wait for the day I’d have children of my own. I was the teenage girl who always wanted to help young moms with their babies and toddlers. Whether it was volunteering to teach or watching the kids during events, I jumped at the opportunity—not out of obligation, but because I genuinely loved spending time with them.

I laugh at that now, of course, because nothing fully prepares you for having kids of your own. Parenting is a whole different ballgame when you’re on call 24/7, managing the chaos, the mess, and the endless energy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids with all my heart, but I’ve also learned to love and appreciate the breaks. Those quiet moments when you can finally breathe and recharge are just as vital to being a good parent as the time spent pouring into your kids.

Parenthood is beautiful and challenging in equal measure. It changes you in ways you don’t expect, and while it’s everything I dreamed of, I’ve also learned the importance of finding balance and giving myself grace along the way.

6. Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

One of Matt’s most honest—and funniest—reflections came when I asked if there was ever a time he realized he needed help as a parent. Without missing a beat, he took me back to the early days of parenthood and made me laugh: “We’re pregnant. What do we do now?”

Classic Matt. That single question perfectly summed up the mix of excitement and sheer panic we both felt in those early days. Asking for help during those uncertain times took humility (and a bit of bravery), but it also brought much-needed guidance and reassurance.

Parenthood is a team effort, and seeking support—whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals—doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you’re willing to put your family’s well-being first, even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers. And let’s be honest—none of us do! Sometimes, all you can do is ask the question, take a deep breath, and figure it out one step at a time.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of Matt’s proudest moments as a dad is watching Ethan open doors for strangers. “We’ve often been complimented on it by people,” he shared.

Parenthood isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about celebrating the small wins. Seeing our kids display kindness and respect, even in seemingly minor ways, is a reminder that we’re making progress as parents. Those moments, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be celebrated.

Conclusion: What We’ve Learned About Parenthood

Parenthood has taught Matt and me more about patience, grace, and the art of not losing our minds than we ever thought possible. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s packed with moments that make the chaos and hard days worth it—like when the kids hug you for no reason… or finally remember to flush the toilet.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that parenthood is less about having it all figured out and more about figuring it out as you go. It’s messy, unpredictable, and humbling—like stepping on Legos at midnight—but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. And hey, if the kids end up in therapy one day, at least we can say we tried our best!

If you enjoyed reading about Matt’s perspective on parenthood, subscribe to Our Family Experiment for more real-life parenting stories and tips. Don’t forget to grab your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you sign up!