Parenting Tips - Our Family Experiement

Why Improving as a Parent is More Important Than Being Perfect

February 25, 2025

Ever feel like the task of improving as a parent is as daunting as climbing Mount Everest? As a mom, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of everyday life. You know… like the endless laundry, the never-ending to-do lists, and the moments when everything feels out of control. There are days when I feel like I’m failing as a parent, or as the wife I want to be. There are moments when the weight of responsibility feels overwhelming, and the pressures of life leave me wondering if I’m doing enough. But despite it all, I am beyond grateful for my family.

In the midst of the beautiful mess, I realize that what truly matters is not perfection, but the love and commitment we share with one another. Life will throw challenges our way, and not every day will go as planned. We may face struggles we didn’t see coming, or bumps in the road that feel too big to handle. Yet, when I stop to reflect, I see that I am blessed beyond measure. Because every day, I have the chance to try again. I have the chance to be a little better than I was yesterday. And that, to me, is enough.

Improving as a Parent, One Step at a Time

There’s so much pressure to be the perfect parent, the perfect spouse, the perfect everything. But what I’ve come to realize is that perfection isn’t the goal—improving as a parent is. No matter how hard things get or how imperfect we may feel, what matters most is that we keep showing up. Every single day, we have the opportunity to improve, even just a little bit. Whether it’s being more patient with our kids, being more present for our spouse, or finding the courage to face the day with a positive attitude, it’s all about striving for progress, not perfection.

Today, like every Monday, I had a long to-do list. But every time I started on a task, my daughter had ten things she was dying to tell me—every two seconds. Needless to say, my list didn’t get done. But that’s okay! Why? Because she’ll remember that Mommy embraced the chaos, took the time to play along, and listened. I know this can’t happen all the time, especially with both Matt and I working from home. But the truth is, there’s nothing more important than pausing to engage with your kids. Some kids shy away from talking to their parents—mine, on the other hand, just can’t stop. Am I the only one?

Discover tips for improving as a parent.

To me, this is a sign that we’re doing something right. The fact that my kids want to talk to us is proof that, despite all our imperfections, we’re showing up for them. It’s a reminder that, even with all the mistakes we make, we are growing and learning and doing everything we can to raise our kids with all the love we have for them.

When we slip up, when we make mistakes, it’s okay. It doesn’t erase all the love and care we give. What matters is that we get up the next day and try again. We may not be perfect, but we’re always growing. We’re always learning. And we’re always showing our family that no matter what life throws our way, we are committed to improving as a parent, a better spouse, and a better person—for them and for ourselves.

Why Embracing the Chaos is the Key to Improving as a Parent

Through the hard times, the tears, and the frustrations, there’s one constant that keeps me going—my family. My kids and my spouse—they are the reason I keep trying, the reason I keep striving to be better. We are a team, and even when we don’t get it right, the love we share makes everything worthwhile.

No, we don’t have it all figured out. We still make mistakes. But we have each other, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted. The beauty of family is in its imperfection—its messiness, its ups and downs—and through it all, we grow stronger together. The moments of laughter, the shared experiences, and the support we give each other make everything else fade away.

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Sometimes, you just need to sit there and focus on controlling your face as your child enthusiastically tells a story about something they learned. It can take them ten minutes to get to the simple point, and you’re doing your best to stay patient, nodding along, even when you have a million things on your mind.

The Power of Listening: A Simple Way to Improve as a Parent

I remember one afternoon when my daughter excitedly started talking about a show she had watched. She jumped from one detail to the next, revisiting parts of the show, asking questions that didn’t quite make sense, and pausing to make sure I was listening intently. I could see the excitement in her eyes, but all I could think was, please just get to the point already.

In those moments, it’s easy to get frustrated, but I’ve learned to remind myself that this is her way of connecting with me. And if it takes ten minutes for her to share a simple fact, so be it. The joy in her voice and the effort she puts into sharing what she learned is priceless.

As parents, we have the incredible privilege of shaping our children’s lives, but we also have the chance to teach them that life isn’t about being flawless. It’s about love. It’s about trying our best, learning from our mistakes, and always striving to be better, not just for ourselves, but for those we love.

The Importance of Showing Up Every Day

To all the moms and dads out there who feel like they’re not doing enough or who feel like the tasking of improving as a parent is beyond your ability, I want to say this: You are enough. You are doing the best you can with what you have. And that’s what matters. We’re all just trying to do our best, one day at a time. We may not be perfect, but as long as you’re trying, that’s all that matters. And that is something to be proud of.

So, no matter what life throws at you today or tomorrow, remember that tomorrow is a new day—a fresh start. You have the opportunity to be a better version of yourself than you were yesterday. And that’s all you need to focus on. You’re doing great. Keep going.

Conclusion: A Grateful Heart

I’m grateful for my family—for the chaos and the calm, for the laughter and the tears, for the lessons learned and the love shared. No matter what comes our way, we will face it together. Every day is a new opportunity to try again, to improve as a parent, and to love one another more deeply.

So, as I wake up each day, I’m determined to be a little better, to show up with a grateful heart and an open mind. For my family, for me, and for all the little moments that make life truly beautiful. Being not much of a morning person makes this battle twice as hard! But if I can do it, so can you!

A tired mother sitting, holding her child while looking overwhelmed—being comforted by an older parent--symbolizing the struggle and love of parenthood.

Family Life

How to Navigate Parenting When You’re Overwhelmed and Exhausted

February 7, 2025

Parenting is hard. There’s no way around it. Some days, it feels like you’re running on fumes, trying to keep up with everyone’s needs while barely managing your own. Whether you’re facing financial stress, mental health struggles, or just the overwhelming exhaustion of raising little humans, you are not alone.

Struggling through parenthood doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. And while there’s no magic fix, there are ways to navigate the tough seasons while still showing up for your kids (and yourself).

In this post, I’ll share real-life strategies for parenting when you’re struggling, because let’s be honest—sometimes, survival mode is all we can manage.

And before you start thinking, “Wow, she’s incredible for managing all this content while being a full-time mom,” let me be real with you—I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been interrupted just trying to write this post.

Parenting When You’re Struggling

It’s easy to push through the motions of parenting without realizing how much you’re mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. But ignoring the signs of struggle doesn’t make them disappear—it delays the crash.

Here are some common signs that you may be struggling more than you realize:

You feel constantly overwhelmed—like you’re drowning in responsibilities.
Small things set you off—you snap at your kids over things that wouldn’t normally bother you.
Exhaustion feels never-ending—no amount of sleep seems to make a difference.
You withdraw from loved ones—parenting feels isolating and reaching out seems exhausting.
You feel guilty all the time—whether it’s for not being patient enough, fun enough, or ‘good’ enough.

If you find yourself nodding along to any of these, you are not alone. Parenting through struggle is tough, but there are ways to lighten the load.

I can’t even count how many times a day my husband and I look at each other and say, “It’s okay. It’s all okay.” Meanwhile, in the background, our kids are locked in an intense battle over their Minecraft world, arguing about who keeps un-aliving the other. Priorities, right?

1. Lower the Bar and Ditch the Parenting Guilt

One of the biggest struggles when parenting through hard times is the pressure to do it all. But let me tell you—you don’t have to. I know, I know. It’s easy for me to say. Right? That’s what you were thinking. But truly, you can’t do anything for anyone if you don’t take a moment and breathe! We all just gotta breathe!

When you’re in survival mode, it’s okay to scale back and focus on the essentials:
🔹 Fed is best—Dinner doesn’t have to be homemade. Frozen pizza counts.
🔹 A clean-ish house is fine—Letting the laundry pile up for a day (or three) won’t ruin your kids’ lives.
🔹 Screens won’t destroy them—Sometimes, an extra episode of their favorite show is the only way to get through the day.

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about being present, even when that presence looks different than usual.

👉 Let go of the guilt—doing your best, even if it doesn’t feel like enough, is enough.

2. Create Small Moments of Connection

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to feel disconnected from your kids. But a meaningful connection doesn’t have to be elaborate.

Here are simple ways to bond with your children, even on hard days:

Five-minute cuddles before bed or while watching TV.
Let them help with small tasks—stirring pancake batter or folding socks counts!
Laugh together—silly faces, dance parties, or an impromptu tickle fight can turn a hard day around.
Give them your full attention, even briefly—put the phone down for a few minutes and be in their world.

👉 Little moments matter. Your kids won’t remember a spotless house or how much money you make, but they will remember how you made them feel. Trust me. That will still stick with them long after you’re gone.

3. Ask for Help—And Accept It

If you’re struggling, you don’t have to do it alone. But asking for help can feel impossible, especially if you’ve convinced yourself you should be able to handle everything on your own. Unless you were bitten by a radioactive spider or rocketed here from Krypton, you’re not superhuman. Even Spider-Man had Mary Jane, and Superman had Lois Lane to lean on when things got tough!

Sorry for nerding out—but hey, even superheroes need a support system. So do you. ❤️

👥 Who can you lean on?

Your partner—Be honest about what you need.
Friends & family—Let them bring a meal or watch the kids for a break.
Other parents—Find a community where you can share openly.
Therapists or support groups—Talking to someone outside your circle can be life-changing.

I know—it’s hard. But asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do for yourself and your family. I’ve done this so many times in my 11 years of being a mom. It’s simply a lifeline, a get-out-jail-free card, if you will, when you just need to be reminded, ‘I AM NOT ALONE!’.

4. Continue Parenting… But Take Care of Yourself—Even in Small Ways

Self-care often feels impossible when you’re struggling. But taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your kids.

Here’s how to sneak in self-care, even on your hardest days:
🛁 A five-minute shower with the door locked.
🎶 A playlist of songs that make you feel good.
☕ A hot cup of coffee (or tea) before everyone wakes up.
📖 Reading a few pages (or chapters) of a book after bedtime.
🚶 A short walk or a few deep breaths outside.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself helps you take care of them.

5. Be Honest with Your Kids (In an Age-Appropriate Way)

Kids notice when we’re struggling. They pick up on our stress, even when we think we’re hiding it. And while we don’t need to burden them with every detail, being open (at an appropriate level) helps them understand.

Otherwise, you will do things like snap at the next person that interrupts you. “For crying out loud, what could you possibly need!?”

💬 What you can say:

“Mommy’s feeling really tired today, but I love you so much.”
“Daddy had a hard day, so let’s have a quiet movie night together.”
“I’m feeling a little sad, but it’s okay. We all have tough days sometimes.”

Honesty helps kids develop emotional intelligence. It teaches them that feelings are normal and that struggles don’t mean love disappears. It also teaches them that when mommy and daddy do get overwhelmed, it’s not always because of something they did.

6. Remind Yourself: This Is a Season, Not Forever

When you’re in the middle of struggling, it feels never-ending. But every season—even the hard ones—comes to an end.

📌 Remind yourself:

You won’t feel this exhausted forever.
You will come through whatever it is you’re facing right now.
Your kids won’t always be this little (or this demanding).
You are not failing—you are doing your best.

Hold on. Keep going. You are stronger than you feel right now.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

Parenting is hard, but parenting while struggling can feel impossible. I say this from the other side of one of the most stressful, heartbreaking, “I’m done with people and done with life” moments my husband and I have ever faced. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this—this too shall pass.

You are not alone. Whether you’re battling exhaustion, stress, anxiety, or just feeling overwhelmed, you are still a good parent.

Take a deep breath. Lower your expectations. Ask for help. And most importantly, give yourself the same grace you’d give a friend in your shoes.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you navigate parenting when you’re struggling? Follow us on Facebook, TikTok, and/or Instagram!

Family Journey

Parenting Podcast Episode 1 Recap: Parenting Without a Playbook

January 7, 2025

Parenting is unpredictable, messy, and full of surprises—but it’s also deeply rewarding. In the first episode of Our Family Experiment, Matt and I dove into the reality of raising kids without a manual. If you’ve ever felt like you’re figuring things out on the fly, this parenting podcast episode is for you.

What We Talked About on our Parenting Podcast

Our debut episode highlights the lessons, challenges, and joys of parenting. Here are some key takeaways:

1. Parenting is a Journey of Learning
From diaper disasters to navigating big feelings, every parent has their “winging it” moments. Matt and I shared our own stories about figuring things out along the way, sometimes with hilarious results.

2. Faith as a Foundation
For us, faith is the cornerstone of our parenting journey. We shared how leaning on prayer and trusting in God’s plan has brought strength and clarity during life’s challenges. And let’s just say we’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—that making major decisions for your family’s future should never, I repeat never, involve flipping a coin!

3. Wins and Fails: A Peek Into Real Life
Parenting isn’t always pretty, but it’s full of relatable moments. In this episode, we shared a parenting win that gave us hope and a fail that had us laughing in hindsight.

4. What the Kids Think
Our favorite part of the episode was hearing from Ethan and Addison. They offered their candid (and often hilarious) take on having parents who don’t always have it together. Spoiler: the kids were uncharacteristically shy in this episode!

Why You’ll Love This Parenting Podcast

The goal of Our Family Experiment is to remind parents that nobody has all the answers. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, love, and showing up for your kids every day.

Listen to our Parenting Podcast

Missed Episode 1? No worries! Tune in now:

Let’s Hear from You

What did you think of Episode 1 of our parenting podcast? Share your thoughts by emailing us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com or connect with us on social media. Let’s navigate the ups and downs of parenting together!

Faith and Family

How Encouraging Kids Can Shape Their Future and Build Their Confidence

January 4, 2025

Parenting is filled with questions, but one of the most important is this: How can we help our kids become the best versions of themselves? Encouraging kids to follow their passions is a powerful way to support their growth, confidence, and happiness. But it’s not always easy. As parents, we walk the fine line between guiding them and allowing them to explore their interests.

In this post, I’m sharing practical, heartfelt advice on how to encourage your kids to pursue their passions and embrace who they’re meant to be.

Why Encouraging Kids to Pursue Their Passions Matters

Encouraging kids to follow their passions isn’t just about helping them find a hobby or career; it’s about nurturing their confidence and teaching them that their interests have value. When kids feel supported, they’re more likely to:

Take risks and try new things.
Develop resilience when faced with challenges.
Build a strong sense of self and identity.
Learn the importance of dedication and hard work.

Passions spark creativity and joy, and as parents, we have the privilege of fanning that flame.

Redefining Success: Preparing Our Kids for a Future Beyond the 9-to-5

For Matt and me, we’ve recently come to a profound realization about the future we’re setting up for our kids. We’re not just guiding them toward independence but also encouraging them to think beyond the traditional “career” path. In today’s world, where opportunities extend far beyond the typical 9-to-5 job, we want to prepare them to embrace flexibility, creativity, and self-reliance in how they approach work and life.

Matt and I are both content creators who work from home, and our careers are anything but conventional. Matt is an SEO writer, crafting articles that help businesses thrive online, and he’s also channeling his passion for storytelling into publishing several fictional books. On top of that, he joins me every week on our parenting podcast, where we share the ups, downs, and lessons of raising a family.

As for me, I’ve poured my heart into building and operating our family blog, a space where I connect with other parents to offer advice, share stories, and create resources. Together, our work reflects the kind of future we envision for our kids—one where they can pursue their passions, embrace creativity, and design a life that brings them joy and fulfillment.

By modeling this lifestyle, we hope to inspire our children to explore their interests and develop the skills they need to carve out their own unique paths. After all, the world is evolving, and so should the way we think about careers and success.

Signs Your Child Has Found a Passion

It can be exciting to watch your kids light up about something, but how do you know when they’ve truly found a passion? Look for these signs:

They talk about it constantly.
Whether it’s art, sports, or science, kids who are passionate will find every opportunity to bring it up. Currently, for our kids, it’s video games, their desire to create custom mods, and how the games can be improved.
They dedicate free time to it.
If your child willingly spends hours practicing, creating, or diving deeper into their interests, it’s a strong sign they’ve discovered something truly special. Our daughter Addison has recently been honing her drawing skills with the guidance of her cousins and grandfather. Creativity seems to run in my family—several relatives are talented artists, including one who achieved remarkable success as a portrait and sculptor artist. One of my uncle’s proudest moments and missed opportunities was being featured alongside Michael Jackson at his studio in Arizona. It’s inspiring to see Addison carry on this artistic legacy and make it her own.
They show pride in their progress.
Seeing them beam with pride over a new skill or achievement is a clear indicator that they’ve found something meaningful.

5 Ways to Encourage Your Kids to Follow Their Passions

1. Pay Attention to What Lights Them Up

The first step to encouraging kids is to observe. What excites them? What topics do they keep coming back to? Take note of the activities that spark their interest and ask open-ended questions like:

“What do you love about this?”
“How does it make you feel?”

Even if their current passion seems fleeting, showing interest tells them their feelings and experiences are valid.

2. Provide Opportunities to Explore

Sometimes, kids need hands-on experiences to truly discover their passions. Look for local classes, workshops, or clubs that align with their interests. For example:

If they love animals, consider a junior zookeeper program.
If they enjoy building, try a LEGO robotics camp.

These opportunities not only refine their skills but also show them that their passions are worth investing in.

3. Offer Support Without Taking Over

It’s easy to want to jump in and “help” when we see our kids exploring their passions. But there’s a fine line between supporting and taking over. Let your kids take the lead, and remember:

Encourage them to set their own goals.
Celebrate progress, not just achievements.
Be their cheerleader, not their manager.

For instance, if your child is passionate about drawing, provide the supplies and a dedicated space but let them decide what they want to create.

Kids need to understand that pursuing passions isn’t always easy. Share stories of people (including yourself!) who overcame obstacles to follow their dreams. Highlight lessons like:

Failure is a stepping stone to success.
Growth happens outside of your comfort zone.
Hard work often leads to the most rewarding results.
The things worth having in life take work and consistency.

These lessons help kids see challenges as opportunities rather than roadblocks.

5. Be Flexible and Open-Minded

Passions can evolve over time, and that’s okay! What your child loves today might not be their dream tomorrow. Encourage exploration and remind them it’s all part of the journey.

“It’s great that you’re curious about so many things.”
“Trying new interests helps you learn what you truly love.”

Early on Ethan was insistent that he wanted to grow up to be an engineer and design robots for a living. However, that has recently evolved into wanting to design wooden toys for children to play with. Only 11 years old and completely addicted to video gaming, I’m confident that his passion will only continue to evolve. One thing is for sure, he has a creative mind like his mama.

Addressing Parental Doubts

Sometimes, it’s hard not to question our kids’ interests, especially if they don’t align with our own. Maybe you’re unsure how a passion will translate into a career or worry they’re wasting time. Here’s the thing: passions are about joy and growth, not practicality. Trust that the skills they gain—like discipline, creativity, and resilience—will serve them no matter what.

What doesn’t always make sense to us as parents might make perfect sense to our kids. And honestly, that’s okay. They’re growing up in a world that’s constantly changing, one that looks vastly different from the one we knew even a decade ago.

How Things Used to Be

Take my husband, for example. Ten years ago, he made the bold decision to leave a traditional 9-to-5 job and pursue a career in writing while working from home—long before remote work became a mainstream concept. It wasn’t an easy decision, and it came with its fair share of criticism. His mom, bless her, had a hard time wrapping her head around it. She was raised in a generation where success was measured by climbing the corporate ladder and staying in a stable job for decades. To her, his choice seemed risky, even irresponsible.

What she couldn’t see at the time was the potential he saw in a new and evolving career path. Her concerns came from a place of love and a desire for him to succeed, but they were rooted in the mindset of her upbringing, not the changing opportunities of today. It wasn’t about doubting his abilities—it was about the fear of the unknown.

Fast forward to now, and that once unconventional decision has paid off in ways we couldn’t have imagined. It taught us an important lesson: just because something doesn’t align with the way we were raised or the rules we lived by doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sometimes, it’s about trusting our kids to see possibilities we might miss and giving them the freedom to explore their own paths. After all, the world they’re navigating is theirs to shape, and it’s not always going to look like what we expect—or understand. And that’s okay.

How Faith Plays a Role in Encouraging Kids

For our family, faith is the foundation of everything we do, including how we parent. Encouraging kids to follow their passions includes reminding them that they are uniquely designed by God with talents and gifts meant to be nurtured. We often share Jeremiah 29:11 with our kids:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This verse reassures them (and us) that their passions have a purpose, even if we don’t fully understand it yet.

Our Personal Experience with Encouraging Passions

Let me share a story about Ethan and Addison. Ethan discovered his love for building when he was just five years old, using blocks to construct anything from castles to robots. We provided him with opportunities to explore, from LEGO kits to STEM classes. Today, he’s still passionate about creating, and it’s been incredible to watch him grow.

Addison, on the other hand, has a creative soul and loves crafting. While it’s not my forte, I’ve learned to embrace her glitter-covered projects because they bring her so much joy. Seeing her confidence grow has been worth every vacuuming session!

The Benefits of Encouraging Kids to Follow Their Passions

When you encourage your kids, you’re not just supporting their hobbies—you’re building their confidence, strengthening your bond, and helping them discover who they are. Here are some lasting benefits:

Emotional well-being: Kids who feel supported are happier and more secure.
Stronger relationships: Shared passions create opportunities for connection.
Life skills: From discipline to problem-solving, they’ll gain tools for future success.

Final Thoughts

Encouraging kids to follow their passions is one of the greatest gifts we can give as parents. It’s about showing them that their interests matter and helping them grow into confident, capable individuals. So whether it’s art, sports, science, or something else entirely, take the time to cheer them on—you won’t regret it.

Want more tips on supporting your kids’ growth and happiness? Check out our post on 10 Tips for Strengthening Family Bonds and subscribe to our newsletter for weekly parenting inspiration.

Faith and Family

Why Consistency Is Key in Parenting

December 31, 2024

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart, is it? From sleepless nights to the whirlwind of emotions that come with raising kids, every day can feel like an experiment. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mom, it’s that consistency in parenting is a game-changer. It’s so important it’s included in our very first podcast releasing January 6, 2025!

It’s not always easy, and I’ll be the first to admit that my husband Matt and I still struggle with it from time to time. But when we’ve leaned into consistency—whether it’s with routines, rules, or expectations—the results have been undeniable. It brings stability to our family life and, more importantly, helps our kids feel secure.

In this post, I’ll share why consistency matters, how it benefits your kids (and your sanity), and practical ways to stay consistent, even when life gets hectic.

What Does Consistency in Parenting Look Like?

Consistency doesn’t mean you have to become a drill sergeant or run your household like a boot camp. It’s about setting clear expectations and following through on them—whether that’s with discipline, daily routines, or how you react to your kids’ behavior.

Here’s a simple example from our home: Bedtime. If we let bedtime slide by even 30 minutes, it throws off the entire night and, honestly, the next morning too. Consistency in our bedtime routine—wind down time, brushing teeth, hugs & kisses, bed—gives our kids the structure they need to wind down and sleep peacefully.

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being predictable.

Why Consistency in Parenting Matters

1. Kids Thrive on Routine

Have you ever noticed how much smoother the day goes when your kids know what to expect? Routines provide a sense of security and help kids navigate their world with confidence.

For example, when our daughter Addison knows that Sundays mean family dinner and time with her older girl cousins, she has something to look forward to. It’s a small thing, but it makes her feel grounded and safe.

Consistency has been a challenge for us over the years, but it’s something we’re striving to improve on every single day. The reason it’s been such a struggle is a long story, but in short, we’ve moved houses so often throughout our kids’ lives that it’s felt like hitting the reset button every time. Each move has meant establishing new routines, adjusting to a new environment, and trying to blend our family dynamic with the dynamics of living with extended family. It’s been tough, but we’re learning and growing together.

2. Consistency Builds Trust

When you’re consistent, your kids know they can rely on you. Whether it’s sticking to a rule or keeping your promise, consistency builds trust and strengthens your relationship.

There have been times when I’ve had to remind myself that “no” has to mean “no,” even when it’s easier to give in. It’s hard in the moment, but it’s worth it when your kids learn that your words have weight.

Just this past week, while we had family visiting for the holidays, Addison and Ethan couldn’t stop bickering. Tensions were high, and with so many people around, it was hard to intervene effectively. Finally, I had enough and told them both that if they didn’t start treating each other with kindness and stop yelling, there would be consequences. In our house, that usually means a spanking—though it’s not a common occurrence, it has been necessary on rare occasions.

They both responded with their “Yes, ma’am’s,” but not much later, chaos erupted again. It felt like I was watching it unfold in slow motion, powerless to stop it in time. I was right in the middle of preparing the last dish for Christmas dinner when I put the knife down, turned around, and without hesitation, said to Addison, “I told you there would be consequences for screaming at your brother. I promised.”

As much as I hated it, I stopped everything, took her to her room, and gave her a small spanking. And you know what? It worked. They stopped screaming at each other after that.

It wasn’t a moment I enjoyed, but it was a reminder that when we set boundaries and follow through, it helps create a sense of structure and accountability.

3. It Reduces Anxiety

Uncertainty can be overwhelming for kids, especially when they’re little. Clear expectations and consistent reactions help reduce their anxiety. They don’t have to guess how you’ll respond or whether the rules will change.

Matt and I have seen this firsthand with our son Ethan. When we’re consistent with screen time rules, he’s less likely to push boundaries because he knows exactly what’s allowed and what isn’t.

How to Be Consistent Without Feeling Overwhelmed

1. Start Small

Don’t try to overhaul your entire parenting style overnight. Focus on one area where consistency could make the biggest impact, like bedtime routines or screen time limits.

Matt was sharing with me just the other day about a book he’s been listening to called The Slight Edge. The concept of the book is simple yet powerful: it emphasizes how successful people don’t necessarily make giant, life-altering changes all at once. Instead, they focus on being consistent in the small, seemingly insignificant things. Over time, these small, consistent actions create a ripple effect, ultimately building a strong foundation for a better future.

It’s not about perfection or big wins—it’s about the daily habits that may feel mundane or even trivial in the moment. Brushing your teeth, exercising for just 15 minutes a day, choosing water over soda—all of these small decisions compound over time, leading to big results. And the same principle applies to parenting.

For example, consistently setting aside 10 minutes each day to talk with your child or sticking to a bedtime routine might not feel groundbreaking in the moment. But over time, these consistent actions build trust, security, and stronger family bonds. The Slight Edge teaches us that success—whether in parenting, career, or personal goals—isn’t about the big leaps; it’s about the small steps we take every single day.

Hearing Matt talk about the book was a reminder for me to look at my own parenting through that lens. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to fix everything all at once, especially when chaos seems to take over. But the truth is, real change comes from those small, intentional actions we take consistently. It’s a humbling realization, but also a hopeful one. Because when you focus on the little things, you’re not just getting through the day—you’re planting seeds for a brighter future for yourself and your family.

2. Communicate Clearly

Make sure your kids know what the rules and expectations are. Use age-appropriate language and explain the “why” behind your decisions.

For example, we’ve told our kids that limiting screen time isn’t about punishment—it’s about making sure they have time for other activities, like playing outside or doing crafts.

Don’t get me wrong—there are times when we give instructions and the kids, not liking what they hear, ask, “Why?” And let’s be honest, in those moments when we’re in the middle of our own thoughts or feeling overstimulated, we might default to the age-old response: “Because I said so.” And you know what? That’s okay… sometimes.

But most of the time, kids need to understand why we’re asking them to do—or not do—something. Why is that important? Well, because they’re still learning about life, how things work, and how to navigate the world. Curious minds are strong minds. And when we take the time to explain, we’re encouraging that curiosity, which is a critical part of their development.

Teaching them to question and seek understanding helps them grow into independent thinkers. It also sets the stage for a future where they don’t just accept everything at face value. Without that curiosity, they may grow up believing everything they hear simply because “someone said so.” So yes, sometimes “because I said so” is enough, but most times, it’s worth pausing to give them the why they’re searching for.

3. Involve Your Partner

Consistency works best when both parents are on the same page. Sit down with your partner and agree on the rules, consequences, and routines you want to prioritize.

Matt and I didn’t always do this well. In the early days of parenting, we’d accidentally send mixed messages to the kids because we hadn’t communicated with each other first. Now, we make it a point to have regular “parent meetings” to stay aligned.

Tell me your kids haven’t learned to work the system of going to mom, but if she says no, go to dad? Yeah… name me a kid who hasn’t tried that at least once. Be on the SAME PAGE!

4. Be Flexible When Needed

Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity. Life happens—there will be days when routines go out the window, and that’s okay. The key is to get back on track as soon as possible.

One summer, we took a last-minute road trip that completely derailed our usual schedules. Instead of stressing, we embraced the chaos and returned to our normal routines once we got home.

Common Challenges (and How to Overcome Them)

1. Feeling Like the Bad Guy

It’s tough to enforce rules when your kids are upset about them. But remember, consistency is an act of love. You’re teaching your kids important life skills, even if they don’t appreciate it in the moment.

2. Burnout

Parenting is exhausting, and staying consistent can feel like just one more thing on your plate. Give yourself grace, and don’t be afraid to lean on your partner, friends, or even a parenting group for support.

3. Pushback from Kids

Kids will test limits—it’s part of their job description. Stay calm, stand your ground, and remind yourself that consistency now will pay off in the long run.

Practical Tips for Creating Rules and Routines

Use Visual Aids: A simple chart or calendar can help younger kids remember their daily routines.
Set Clear Consequences: Be specific about what will happen if rules aren’t followed, and STICK TO IT!
Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge when your kids follow the rules or stick to a routine. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

The Long-Term Benefits of Consistency in Parenting

When you’re consistent, you’re not just making life easier today—you’re setting your kids up for success in the future. They’ll grow up with a strong sense of responsibility, self-discipline, and respect for others.

Parenting is hard work, in fact, the hardest job on the planet! But the effort you put into being consistent will pay off in the form of confident, well-adjusted kids.

Moving Forward Together

Consistency in parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, day after day, with love and intention. It’s about teaching your kids that they can trust you and that they are safe in the structure you provide.

So, parents, let’s commit to being consistent, not just for our kids but for ourselves. The journey might be challenging, but the rewards are worth it.

Need more parenting tips? Check out our post on 10 Tips for Strengthening Family Bonds.

Family Bonding

How to Foster Open Communication with Your Kids: Parent-to-Parent Guide

December 25, 2024

Open communication is the foundation of a strong family bond, but as every parent knows, it’s far from easy. Navigating tough conversations and creating a safe space for kids to express themselves is a challenge we all face. That’s why we’re here to share practical, parent-to-parent tips for fostering honest dialogue within your family.

At Our Family Experiment, we pride ourselves on being open, raw, and honest with our readers and listeners. So, let me be real with you—communicating with kids doesn’t always go smoothly. Just last night, I tried to talk to Addison about something she needed help with, and it did not go well. She wouldn’t listen, got an attitude, and I ended up losing my cool and yelling at her.

Later, after stepping away from the situation, I realized I had failed—miserably. Swallowing my pride, I sat down with her to explain why I got upset and how we could avoid this in the future. It wasn’t easy, especially because my parents didn’t do that kind of thing when I was growing up. This wasn’t an action based on experience—it was based on what I wish had been done for me as a child.

I’ve heard baby boomers say over and over how anxiety attacks, panic attacks, or neurodivergence “weren’t an issue back in their day.” My goodness, just because something wasn’t named or talked about doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Now, generations since that era are trying to navigate and name the challenges they’ve faced as adults and parents.

That said, as a Millennial with iGen kids, I’ve noticed some people take it to the other extreme. They over-excuse bad behavior, slap a diagnosis on it, and use it as a justification: “This is just how I am because I have this medical issue.” Don’t get me wrong—many people truly need understanding and medical support. But not everything requires a pill or a diagnosis. Sometimes, kids just need good old-fashioned discipline. On that one point, I can agree with the baby boomers.

Finding the balance between understanding, discipline, and open communication isn’t easy, but it’s worth striving for. Let’s figure it out together.

Why Open Communication Matters

As parents, we often wish we could read our kids’ minds. But the reality is, trust and open communication take time to build. Creating a safe space for your kids to share their thoughts and feelings helps them feel valued and understood. This foundation of trust not only strengthens your relationship but also equips them to face life’s challenges with confidence.

Matt and I have had countless conversations with our kids, trying to draw out their feelings—sometimes even about us. Hearing their honest thoughts about how we’ve handled a situation or made them feel is never easy. It’s a tough conversation for everyone involved. The kids may feel scared to share something harsh, worried about being ridiculed or punished for their feelings. Meanwhile, we parents have to sit there, biting our tongues, doing everything we can not to react defensively to the information we’re hearing.

For someone like me, who learns best by seeing something done, this makes parenting an even bigger challenge. There’s no example to follow, no perfect guide to refer to. And that’s why it truly feels like an experiment—an ever-evolving, humbling, and rewarding one.

5 Parent-to-Parent Tips for Encouraging Open Communication

1. Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversations

Children are more likely to open up when they feel safe and free from judgment.

Set aside regular one-on-one time to talk with each child.
Avoid interrupting or dismissing their feelings.
Use phrases like, “I’m here to listen, not judge.”

Parent to parent, we know that fostering open communication takes practice, but the effort is absolutely worth it when your kids feel safe sharing their thoughts with you. Our children should feel secure coming to us with their feelings, questions, or concerns. If they don’t, they may eventually turn to other sources for comfort or develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage their emotions. Creating that sense of safety now lays the foundation for trust and resilience as they grow.

Am I a licensed professional? Nope. I’m just a mom speaking from experience—someone who was once a child herself and is now navigating the adventure of raising her own.

2. Model the Behavior You Want to See

Kids learn by example, so show them what open communication looks like:

Share your own thoughts and feelings in age-appropriate ways.
Admit when you’re wrong and apologize sincerely.
Discuss family decisions openly to show respect for everyone’s input.

From one parent to another, modeling vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, but it shows your kids that it’s okay to be human. We may never receive apologies for the things that still sting when we think about them. But if our childhoods have taught us anything, it’s this: there are lessons in what we didn’t appreciate, and those lessons drive us to do better for our own children.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of questions that prompt yes-or-no answers, try these:

“What was the best part of your day?”
“How do you feel about what happened at school today?”
“What’s something you’re excited or worried about?”

Open-ended questions invite deeper conversations and create opportunities for your kids to express themselves freely, without fear of giving the “wrong” answer. Instead of shutting down dialogue with simple yes-or-no responses, these questions encourage them to explore their thoughts and feelings. It’s not just about getting them to talk; it’s about showing them that their opinions, fears, and dreams matter.

Questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “How do you feel about what happened at school today?” signal to your kids that you’re genuinely interested in their experiences and willing to listen without judgment. This approach fosters a sense of safety and trust, allowing them to open up more readily over time.

It also strengthens your connection as a family. When kids know they’ll be heard, they’re more likely to share not just the good but also the challenges they’re facing. This can lead to meaningful problem-solving discussions and teach them the value of open communication in all areas of life.

When it comes to our kids, Ethan is the tough nut to crack. Getting him to open up feels like solving a puzzle with missing pieces. Addison, on the other hand, is the complete opposite—she’ll happily share every thought and feeling, whether you asked for them or not!

4. Make Time for Family Meetings

Set up regular family meetings to discuss feelings, plans, or challenges as a group.

Keep the tone light and supportive, not punitive.
Encourage everyone, including you, to share their thoughts.
End on a positive note, such as celebrating small wins or planning a fun family activity.

Family meetings show your kids that their voices matter, creating a space where everyone feels valued and strengthening the parent-to-child connection.

We don’t have family meetings as often as we should, but when we do, they’re incredibly helpful! That said, I have to admit—hearing the words “Family Meeting” instantly takes me back to my childhood. For me, those words usually meant mom and dad had reached their limit, and it was time for everyone to sit down and hear about how bad we’d been and how we needed to do better. It wasn’t an open conversation; it was a lecture. Our thoughts and feelings weren’t always welcomed, and if they were, it often felt like our thoughts and feelings were invalid. To be honest, this is probably why I (Denise) have such a hard time communicating with Matt in intense situations.

I want to be clear—I’m not trying to paint a picture of a terrible childhood. My parents did their best, as all parents do. I simply want to point out that all parents, including Matt and me, make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are small, and we learn from them quickly. Other times, we don’t realize they were mistakes until it’s too late.

To be fair, there’s a time and place for that kind of family meeting. Matt and I have had to hold those tough conversations ourselves, and they serve an important purpose. But the memory of those “family meetings” from my own childhood comes with a lot of negative connotations. That’s why we aim to create a different kind of family meeting for our kids—one that invites open dialogue, mutual respect, and understanding, rather than fear or frustration. It’s not perfect, but it’s a step toward fostering the kind of connection we want to have as a family.

Matt also dealt with similar situations with his parents growing up. I can’t speak for him because I wasn’t there. But I was there to witness some of the ways his younger sister was parented. And it wasn’t always pretty. I’ve even been on the receiving end of correction from Matts mom early on in our marriage. Just constant reminders of how I don’t want to act toward my kids. But again, as I admitted early on, I too fail at times.

5. Be Patient and Consistent

Building open communication takes time. Some days your kids may talk nonstop, and other days they may give one-word answers.

Stay consistent in your efforts to communicate.
Celebrate the small moments when they open up.
Let them know you’re always there, no matter what.

Patience and consistency are the secret ingredients to fostering trust and strengthening family bonds. I know how cliché that sounds—trust me, I rolled my eyes at myself as I wrote that. Because, let’s be real, some days it’s easy to be patient and consistent, and other days it’s like calmly explaining algebra to a tween who’s dramatically proclaiming they’ll never use math in real life.

The Benefits of Open Communication

When open communication becomes part of your family dynamic, you’ll notice positive changes:

Your kids will feel more confident sharing their thoughts and emotions.
Family conflicts will be easier to resolve.
You’ll build a deeper understanding of each other, creating a stronger family bond.
You’re kids will actually want to spend time with you. Without force!

Conclusion: Building Stronger Bonds

From our chaotic parenting woes to yours, fostering open communication with your kids is a journey, not a destination. By creating a safe space, modeling openness, asking meaningful questions, and staying consistent, you’re building a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. If you’ve ever watched a foundation being laid, it something that takes time, patience, knowledge, skills, and at times trial and error. It isn’t something that happens over night. So as you put these thoughts into practice, don’t get dissapointed if you don’t see immediate results!

If you’re ready to strengthen your family bond further, Check out our other posts on parenting tips and subscribe to our blog for more parenting advice from real life parents! Let’s navigate this journey together.

Message us on Facebook and/or TikTok for more relatable parenting advice and ideas to help foster communication in your family.

Family Bonding

10 Tips for Strengthening Family Bonds

December 8, 2024

Family bonds are the glue that holds us together through life’s highs and lows. A close, connected family doesn’t happen by accident—it’s built through intentional actions, shared moments, and consistent love. In a world full of distractions, making time for each other and prioritizing these connections is more important than ever.

Here are 10 simple but powerful tips for strengthening family bonds and fostering a deeper connection with your loved ones.

1. Prioritize Family Time

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to let family time take a backseat. Make it a point to schedule regular moments together, whether it’s a family game night, Sunday dinner, or a quick walk around the neighborhood. These moments create shared memories and strengthen relationships.

At my (Denise’s) mother’s house, she has weekly family dinners for the entire family. We come, eat, and hang out! It’s usually very loud and by the time it’s all over Matt and I in our introvertedness are ready for peace in our bedroom, (since we are living here with my parents), but are thankful for the time we got to spend with everyone.

Scheduling regular family activities creates shared memories and strengthens relationships. Here are some of our family’s favorite board games and video games:

2. Practice Open Communication

Encourage open, honest, and respectful conversations with your family. Create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “What’s something you’re excited about right now?” If you are like me and have trouble with small talk or just starting the conversation, I’ve found that TableTopics has a Family edition of their conversation starter cards and they are SO helpful!

This is easy with our daughter because she has the gift of gab. You best be prepared for a long drawn-out answer from her. Not to mention half a dozen rabbit trails. However, these types of questions are overwhelming to Ethan. He’s like his momma. The spoken word terrifies me. I’d rather be writing. Otherwise, I better have a script or an idea of what I need to say before I say it. He will answer these types of questions, it just takes him a bit longer. So patience is key!

3. Unplug and Be Present

Technology is a wonderful tool, but it can also be a major distraction. Set aside time to unplug from devices and focus solely on each other. Whether it’s during meals or designated family hours, being present helps deepen your connection.

This is easier said than done. Can you imagine the look my husband and I give each other when one of us grounds the kids from their devices!? Like… “What have you done? Now they will be all over us and constantly seeking our attention because they are bored!” All jokes aside though, it is important to unplug. We will often take short drives just to get out of the house. Go to the park. Get our favorite drinks from Sonic. When it’s warm, take the drone and RC cars out in the cul-de-sac and play!

It really doesn’t matter how glamorous the activity… what matters is just being in the moment. Don’t let your kids remember you by how much time your face was glued to your phone or computer. Not only are you an example, but you are THE main example impacting the very core of their being. And your children will be affected by what you do or do not do. Be there in every way. Mentally and physically.

4. Create Family Traditions

Traditions, big or small, give your family something special to look forward to. It could be baking cookies every Christmas, having pizza on Friday nights, or taking a yearly camping trip. These rituals create lasting memories and give your family a sense of identity.

For us, especially around the holidays, it’s shooting the BB gun on Thanksgiving at whatever target we can grab. Mostly sheets of paper on a box, but occasionally momma’s rotten pumpkin decor. Or how we go out every year and let the kids pick out a new Christmas ornament to put on the tree.

Traditions might seem small and insignificant, but over time, they add up. And years from now your children will be sitting around with their children reminiscing about their childhood. What do you want them to remember or carry on with them when you are gone?

Establishing rituals fosters a sense of identity. Ideas include:

Personalized Ornaments: Allowing each family member to choose or create an ornament annually adds personal significance to holiday traditions.

Holiday Craft Kits: Creating decorations together can become a cherished tradition.

5. Show Gratitude and Appreciation

Take time to recognize and celebrate each other. A simple “Thank you” or “I’m proud of you” goes a long way in strengthening family bonds. Encourage your kids to do the same with their siblings and other family members.

Our daughter is constantly drawing something new. And over the last year, she has amazed me as she learns and develops new ways to draw and color things. Just recently she asked for new crayons because she wanted to be able to add texture to her drawings. Texture!? Okay!

It’s really easy to passively say, “Oh that looks good.” and then go about my day. But it’s really important to stop for the whole 1 to 2 minutes it might take to really look at what your child has done and actually commend them for a job well done. And being the artsy mom I am, even give her a couple of tips here and there.

This shows two things. 1. I see you, I hear you, I love you, and I’m proud of you. And 2. I want you to feel seen, heard, loved, and proud of yourself!

Expressing thanks strengthens bonds. Tools to facilitate this:

Recognition Boards: A family bulletin board to post achievements and positive notes to celebrate individual contributions.

Gratitude Journals: Encourage family members to document daily appreciation, fostering a culture of gratitude.

6. Pray Together

Prayer is a powerful way to bring your family closer, not just to each other but also to God. Whether it’s a daily family prayer, grace before meals, or coming together during tough times, prayer helps create a foundation of faith and unity. For our family, we pray every night before bedtime. If the kids sleep over anywhere or we are ever away, they expect our bedtime routine to continue regardless.

7. Serve Each Other and Others

Acts of service within your family build mutual respect and love. Helping a sibling with their homework or surprising your spouse with a chore they dislike shows care. Additionally, serving others as a family—through volunteering or donating—teaches compassion and reinforces your shared values.

This year Addison has learned about Angel Trees and really has the heart and desire to be a blessing to a little girl her age this year for Christmas. So we are planning on adopting a child to buy a Christmas gift for through the Tulsa Salvation Army.

It’s a small thing to us, and the least we could do, but it’s also something we are trying to teach our children. Jesus wants us to care for the homeless, the orphans, the widows, etc. So we are teaching them to be like Jesus.

8. Learn and Grow Together

Make learning a family affair. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe, taking a class, or working on a DIY project, shared experiences help your family grow closer. Plus, it’s a fun way to create memories and discover new talents together.

Back in June of 2024 and then again in November, I (Denise) had surgeries on both of my elbows. Which meant I needed help in places like the kitchen and making dinners. Don’t get me wrong… takeout was our friend. Ha! But when we just wanted a home-cooked meal instead, the kids, and even Matt got to be my hands and listen to instructions as I taught them how to make something. Whether by scratch or from a box. It led to some pretty funny moments, and even a few… ugh just let me do it moments as well!

9. Practice Forgiveness

No family is perfect, and disagreements are inevitable. What matters is how you handle them. Practice forgiveness, both giving and receiving, and teach your children the importance of apologizing when they’re wrong. Forgiveness fosters peace and keeps relationships strong.

I’m (Denise) terrible at accepting responsibility for my mistakes. I can only assume this is due to how I was raised. Perhaps I just didn’t pick up this life skill early on. Who knows? I avoid confrontation at all costs. I beat myself up when I mess up more than anybody I upset possibly could.

But as I continue to grow up and life presents more and more opportunities to get it right, I’m maturing and learning that how you respond to situations matters. As I listen to the way my children respond to each other and other people sometimes, I’m constantly reminded of the example I’m being. Which pushes me to beat myself up as a parent, but then try my hardest to be better tomorrow.

10. Celebrate Each Other’s Strengths

Each family member brings something unique to the table. Take time to recognize and celebrate individual talents, achievements, and qualities. This not only boosts self-esteem but also reminds your family how much they’re loved and valued.

Matt is so good and explaining things. He remembers everything and I’m often jealous of the way his mind operates. This allows him to be the amazing writer he is, and what will allow him to achieve his goal of publishing his first fiction book in the coming months!

I’m artsy. I could design things all day long and be completely content. I might have gotten my kids hooked on Minecraft for the simple joy of being able to create something while also spending time with the kids. 😉

Ethan is in that stage where he’s trying to figure out what to do with himself. He’s good at a lot of things. But his favorite thing to date is gaming. And he can tell you everything you need to know about Minecraft, Ark, and Fallout.

Addison is so smart. I’m convinced she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up. My dad has been teaching her Spanish and she’s picking it up so quickly. She loves gaming too, but she’s especially fond of crafting and drawing!

Building a Legacy of Love

Family bonds don’t strengthen overnight—they’re built one moment, one choice, and one intentional act at a time. By prioritizing love, respect, and faith, you’re not just creating a happier home—you’re building a legacy of connection and trust that will last for generations.

Which of these tips do you want to try in your family? We’d love to hear how you strengthen family bonds! Share your thoughts and stories by emailing us at contact@ourfamilyexperiment.com. Together, we can inspire each other to create closer, more connected families.