For years, our family lived a life filled with change. We packed up our lives and started over in new places more times than I can count. Each move brought hope for something better, a fresh start, and a chance to follow what we felt was our calling. But after years of moving, we finally decided to settle down and create a permanent home.
This wasn’t an easy choice. It came with its fair share of challenges and heartache. While we’re still in the early stages of working toward our goals, we believe this decision is a step in the right direction for our family. In this post, I’ll share why we chose to stop moving and how we’re starting to build a foundation for our future.
The Challenges of Constant Moving
If you’ve ever uprooted your family, you know how hard it can be. Moving isn’t just about packing boxes and renting a truck. It’s about leaving behind familiar faces, routines, and the sense of security that comes with having a place to call home.
For us, moving often meant starting from scratch—finding a new community, adjusting to different schools or churches, and figuring out how to make ends meet in unfamiliar circumstances. Each new chapter came with its own set of challenges, and while we embraced these changes with faith and hope, the emotional toll began to add up. This transient lifestyle was even more impactful for me, as it compounded the one I grew up with; my father was a pastor for most of my life, and moving frequently was simply part of our family dynamic.
Our kids, though resilient and adaptable, began to feel the strain as well. Each move brought the challenge of making new friends, adjusting to new routines, and saying goodbye to the familiar. As parents, it became increasingly clear that stability was essential for our family to truly thrive. We couldn’t ignore the pattern we had fallen into—a seemingly never-ending loop of starting over and feeling like we were failing to build something lasting. We realized we didn’t want to pass that same cycle onto our kids, repeating the struggles we endured during our own childhoods.
Why We Moved So Often
Our moves weren’t always driven by a clear calling. In fact, the greater part of the last 12 years of moving was fueled by financial challenges or mental struggles. Sometimes, we simply needed a change to survive—to find stability or escape difficult circumstances. (And yes, there was even that one time we made the decision to move on the flip of a coin. It’s funny now, but at the time, it was a reflection of how lost we felt.)
While some moves were intentional and rooted in what we believed was a calling from God, those moments were fewer than we’d like to admit. When we did feel led by Him, we stepped out in faith, following doors we believed He opened for us. These moves often took us to unexpected places and taught us invaluable lessons. But even when the path seemed clear, the reality was that no move came without its challenges.
The Move to Montana: A Turning Point
One of the most significant moves we made was to Montana, where my husband, Matt, took on the role of pastoring a small church. It was a leap of faith, and we truly believed it was where we were meant to be. The opportunities and experiences there were unlike anything we’d ever had before, and we poured our hearts into that chapter of our lives.
But life doesn’t always go as planned. After two and a half years in Montana, we found ourselves at a crossroads. A mistake Matt made ultimately cost him his minister’s license, and the weight of that, combined with mounting financial struggles, made it impossible for us to stay. We couldn’t afford to live in Montana anymore, and we recognized that staying there wasn’t going to help us grow as a family.
The decision to leave wasn’t easy—it was humbling and painful—but it was necessary. Returning to Oklahoma became the reset we desperately needed to rebuild our lives and refocus on all aspects of our family’s future.
Why We Decided to Settle Down
After years of moving, we realized it was time to hit the pause button. Our family needed a reset—a chance to refocus, rebuild, and create a stable foundation for our future. Moving back to Oklahoma gave us that opportunity.
We’ve chosen to make Oklahoma our permanent home for several reasons:
- Financial Stability:
Moving is expensive. The costs of relocating, finding new housing, and adjusting to a different cost of living had taken a toll. By settling down, we can focus on building financial freedom and working toward owning a place of our own. - Family Support:
Living with my parents has given us the chance to regroup and lean on the support of family. It’s allowed us to create long-term goals while giving our kids a sense of consistency and belonging. - A Fresh Start:
Staying in one place gives us the chance to work through past mistakes, learn from them, and build a future filled with purpose and growth. - Our Kids’ Futures:
We want to give our children a strong foundation—a place to call home and the stability to pursue their dreams without the constant upheaval of moving.
How We’re Building a Stable Future
Settling down doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes easy, but it does mean we can focus on what truly matters. We’ve set clear goals for our family over the next five years:
- Financial Freedom:
We’re working toward paying off debt, saving for a home, and creating a budget that aligns with our long-term goals. - Prioritizing Family Growth:
By staying in one place, we can invest in activities and routines that strengthen our family bond—like homeschooling, family dinners, and local involvement. - Creating a Permanent Home:
While we’re currently living with my parents, we’re saving and planning for a home of our own in Oklahoma. This is more than a house; it’s the foundation for the life we want to build. - Planning for the Kids’ Futures:
From educational opportunities to instilling values that will guide them through life, we’re working to prepare our kids for success in every sense of the word.
The Lessons We’ve Learned from Moving
Looking back, I don’t regret the years of moving. Each chapter taught us something valuable about faith, resilience, and what truly matters. Moving gave us experiences we’ll cherish forever, but it also taught us the importance of creating roots.
Here are a few lessons we’ve learned:
- God’s Plan Is Bigger Than Ours:
Every move had a purpose, even if we didn’t see it at the time. Trusting His plan, even in the hard moments, has been a constant theme in our journey. - Stability Matters:
While adventure is exciting, stability provides the space for growth, healing, and thriving as a family. - Mistakes Don’t Define Us:
Moving back to Oklahoma was humbling, but it also gave us the opportunity to reset, refocus, and ensure we never repeat the mistakes of the past.
Conclusion: Finding Peace in Settling Down
After years of moving, we’ve finally found peace in settling down. While it wasn’t the easiest journey, it is shaping us in countless ways. Choosing to stay in Oklahoma is about more than geography—it’s about creating a stable, loving environment where our family can heal, grow, and thrive.
If you’re a parent navigating the challenges of moving or wondering if it’s time to settle down, know that you’re not alone. Every family’s journey is different, but what matters most is finding what works for you and your loved ones.
And if you’re curious to hear more about our family’s story and the lessons we’ve learned, check out our podcast, Our Family Experiment. You can find all our episodes here.