tips for parents - Our Family Experiement

Creating Peace at Home: Turning Your House into a Sanctuary for Your Family

December 21, 2024

Introduction

Home should be more than just the place where we sleep, eat, and juggle the chaos of daily life—it should feel like a sanctuary. As parents, Matt and I know how challenging it can be to create peace at home, especially with kids, work, and an endless to-do list. But we’ve also learned that with a few intentional changes, it’s possible to build a space that feels calming, welcoming, and restorative for the whole family.

In this post, we’re sharing practical tips and insights from our own journey to make our home a place of peace. From managing the noise and clutter to creating moments of connection, these small changes can have a big impact on the way your family feels at home.

1. Start with Decluttering the Physical Space

It’s hard to feel peaceful when you’re surrounded by piles of stuff. One of the biggest things Matt and I have learned is that clutter isn’t just visual—it creates mental and emotional stress too.

We don’t have a Pinterest-perfect house by any means, but we’ve worked on minimizing the chaos by regularly decluttering. A great place to start is with the common areas: the kitchen, living room, and entryway. Once those spaces feel more open and organized, it’s amazing how much lighter the whole house feels.

💡 Practical Tip: Involve the kids in decluttering by turning it into a fun challenge. Who can fill a box of items to donate the fastest?

2. Prioritize Moments of Connection

Peace at home isn’t just about how a house looks—it’s about how it feels. And nothing creates a sense of calm like meaningful family connections. For us, this means carving out intentional time to connect with our kids, even if it’s just over dinner or playing video games with the kids after their schoolwork is completed.

Sometimes it’s as simple as turning off the TV and really listening to what the kids are saying. Other times, it’s planning a family movie night or taking a walk together. These small moments create a sense of belonging and stability that helps everyone feel more grounded.

3. Create Personal Spaces for Everyone

While we value togetherness, we’ve also learned that everyone needs a little personal space to recharge. For Matt, it’s his desk; for me, it’s a cozy corner with a comfy chair where I can game or work. The kids also have their own spaces where they can read, play, or unwind after a long day.

Having a designated spot for each family member to retreat to can work wonders for creating peace at home. It helps everyone recharge and prevents the whole family from getting overwhelmed by constant togetherness.

4. Add Calming Elements to Your Home

Sometimes, creating peace at home is as simple as changing the atmosphere. Adding soft lighting, calming scents, and cozy textures can completely transform the feel of a space.

We recently added a wax warmer to Matt’s desk that looks like a tiny fireplace, and it’s been such a simple but effective way to create a relaxing vibe. Whether it’s lighting a candle, playing soft background music, or investing in a fluffy throw blanket for the couch, these small touches make a big difference.

5. Establish a Routine That Works for Your Family

Chaos often sneaks into our home when there’s a lack of structure. While we’re not sticklers for a rigid schedule, having a flexible routine helps keep the day-to-day manageable and creates a sense of predictability for everyone.

For example, we’ve established simple morning and evening routines that help set the tone for the day and wind everyone down at night. Knowing what to expect takes the guesswork out of daily life and creates a foundation of peace.

💡 Practical Tip: Start small. Even a 5-minute family check-in at the end of the day can help everyone feel more connected and calm.

6. Model Peaceful Behavior

We’ve learned the hard way that our kids mirror what they see. If Matt and I are constantly stressed, snapping at each other, or rushing from one task to the next, that energy trickles down to the kids, fast.

Instead, we’ve been trying to model calm behavior (as much as possible). This means taking a breath before responding, using kind tones even when we’re frustrated, and showing the kids how we handle stress in healthy ways.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

Creating peace at home is a process, not an overnight transformation. Celebrate the little victories along the way, whether it’s a decluttered corner, a smooth bedtime routine, or a day when everyone manages to stay calm and connected.

We’ve found that celebrating these small wins helps us stay motivated and reminds us why we’re making these changes in the first place—to create a home where everyone feels loved, supported, and at peace.

Conclusion: Building Peace at Home Takes Intention

Creating a home that feels like a sanctuary doesn’t mean having a perfectly decorated house or a stress-free life. It’s about making intentional choices that bring calm, connection, and joy into your space.

By decluttering, prioritizing family time, and adding little touches of calm, you can transform your house into a place where your family can recharge and grow together. Remember, peace at home isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating an environment where everyone feels safe, loved, and at ease.

What’s one step you can take today to create more peace at home? Let us know! And if you’re looking for more tips and insights, subscribe below to Our Family Experiment for updates and exclusive content.

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Family Foundations

What I Wish I Knew About Parenthood Before Becoming a Parent

December 19, 2024

Parenthood 101

Parenthood is a wild, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey. Before becoming a parent, I had plenty of expectations about what raising children would look like. Some of those expectations were accurate, but most were, well, completely off. Nothing fully prepares you for the emotional rollercoaster, the sleepless nights, or the indescribable joy that comes with the journey.

If I could go back in time and have a conversation with my pre-parent self, there’s so much I’d want to share—lessons learned through mistakes, unexpected triumphs, and the beautiful messiness of parenthood. While it’s true that no one gets it perfect, having some insights beforehand could have made the transition a little smoother.

Before writing this post, I sat down with Matt and asked him what he wished he had known before becoming a dad. Together, we reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way. In this post, I’m sharing what both Matt and I wish we had known about parenthood before becoming parents—from the sleepless nights to the everyday joys—and how this journey has shaped our lives in ways we never imagined.

1. Parenthood Redefines Exhaustion (and Joy)

When I asked Matt about the biggest adjustment to sleepless nights and long days, his answer was straightforward: “Having to provide for a kid who couldn’t do anything for himself.” For me, it was the constant worry that I was doing everything wrong or making all the wrong decisions. I quickly learned to trust my instincts when Ethan developed pyloric stenosis at just six weeks old—a moment that taught me the importance of listening to my gut as a parent.

The responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. Knowing that someone is entirely dependent on you is both humbling and exhausting. But alongside the hard work comes moments of joy that make it all worthwhile. Watching your child grow, smile, and eventually give you a hug are the priceless moments that redefine what joy means in parenthood.

2. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

Matt thought he’d naturally be great at giving advice to his kids. Instead, he’s discovered that it’s something he’s still learning. “Kids don’t always want answers,” he admitted, “and sometimes, I’m not sure what the right advice is.”

We often tell our kids, “We’ve never been the parents of an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old before. Have patience with us as we figure it all out.” And that’s exactly how we came up with the name for our blog and podcast. Parenthood really is one big experiment—trial, and error, and everything in between. Sorry, kids!

Parenthood has shown us that it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being present, listening, and showing your kids that you’re willing to learn and grow alongside them. And when we make mistakes… we have gotten pretty good at letting them know and when necessary, apologizing for making said mistakes.

We explore this topic in much greater detail in our eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection. And the best part? We’re giving it away for free to our subscribers! Just enter your email below, hit subscribe, and we’ll send the PDF straight to your inbox shortly after.

3. The Little Things Matter the Most

When I asked Matt about moments that make him feel like he’s doing something right as a dad, his answer was simple: “When they come up and hug me, or I see Ethan open a door for somebody.” I’d have to agree with this one 100%! I love it when the kids come to sit next to me for cuddles or just to ask me how my day is going or how I’m feeling.

Those small acts of kindness and love are a testament to the values we’re instilling in our kids. Watching them demonstrate empathy and respect in their everyday lives is one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood. It’s a reminder that the little things—like modeling kindness and giving hugs—really do make a difference.

4. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Like many parents, Matt admitted that he still compares himself to other dads. “I still do,” he said. And honestly, what parent doesn’t?

It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when social media often highlights picture-perfect parenting moments. But parenthood isn’t a competition. It’s about doing what works best for your family and focusing on the values you want to instill in your kids. Letting go of comparison is an ongoing process, but it’s worth the effort for your peace of mind and your family’s happiness.

5. Your Identity Will Shift—and That’s Okay

When I asked Matt how becoming a dad changed him, his answer was straightforward and to the point: “More responsibilities.”

Parenthood shifts your identity in profound ways. For Matt, taking on the role of provider, protector, and mentor has brought a new level of accountability and purpose. While the added responsibilities can feel heavy at times, they’ve also given him a deeper sense of fulfillment and pride in being a dad.

For me, becoming a mom was something I had dreamed about since my early teenage years. I absolutely adored my sister’s girls and couldn’t wait for the day I’d have children of my own. I was the teenage girl who always wanted to help young moms with their babies and toddlers. Whether it was volunteering to teach or watching the kids during events, I jumped at the opportunity—not out of obligation, but because I genuinely loved spending time with them.

I laugh at that now, of course, because nothing fully prepares you for having kids of your own. Parenting is a whole different ballgame when you’re on call 24/7, managing the chaos, the mess, and the endless energy. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids with all my heart, but I’ve also learned to love and appreciate the breaks. Those quiet moments when you can finally breathe and recharge are just as vital to being a good parent as the time spent pouring into your kids.

Parenthood is beautiful and challenging in equal measure. It changes you in ways you don’t expect, and while it’s everything I dreamed of, I’ve also learned the importance of finding balance and giving myself grace along the way.

6. Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

One of Matt’s most honest—and funniest—reflections came when I asked if there was ever a time he realized he needed help as a parent. Without missing a beat, he took me back to the early days of parenthood and made me laugh: “We’re pregnant. What do we do now?”

Classic Matt. That single question perfectly summed up the mix of excitement and sheer panic we both felt in those early days. Asking for help during those uncertain times took humility (and a bit of bravery), but it also brought much-needed guidance and reassurance.

Parenthood is a team effort, and seeking support—whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals—doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you’re willing to put your family’s well-being first, even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers. And let’s be honest—none of us do! Sometimes, all you can do is ask the question, take a deep breath, and figure it out one step at a time.

7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of Matt’s proudest moments as a dad is watching Ethan open doors for strangers. “We’ve often been complimented on it by people,” he shared.

Parenthood isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about celebrating the small wins. Seeing our kids display kindness and respect, even in seemingly minor ways, is a reminder that we’re making progress as parents. Those moments, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be celebrated.

Conclusion: What We’ve Learned About Parenthood

Parenthood has taught Matt and me more about patience, grace, and the art of not losing our minds than we ever thought possible. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s packed with moments that make the chaos and hard days worth it—like when the kids hug you for no reason… or finally remember to flush the toilet.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that parenthood is less about having it all figured out and more about figuring it out as you go. It’s messy, unpredictable, and humbling—like stepping on Legos at midnight—but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. And hey, if the kids end up in therapy one day, at least we can say we tried our best!

If you enjoyed reading about Matt’s perspective on parenthood, subscribe to Our Family Experiment for more real-life parenting stories and tips. Don’t forget to grab your FREE eBook, Parenting Without a Playbook: Grace, Not Perfection, when you sign up!

Faith and Family

5 Ways to Stay Grounded During Parenting Challenges

December 10, 2024

Parenting is one of life’s greatest joys, but it’s also one of its toughest challenges. There are days when nothing seems to go as planned—tantrums erupt, schedules fall apart, and patience is tested to its limits. Staying grounded during parenting challenges is crucial for your peace of mind and your family’s well-being. Here are five tips we try to follow to help navigate the tough times with grace and resilience.

1. Start with Self-Care to Stay Grounded in Parenting

It’s easy to put yourself last when juggling the demands of family life. However, neglecting self-care can leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed. Even small steps like walking, journaling, or spending five quiet minutes can make a big difference. And let’s be honest—we’ve all escaped to the bathroom behind a locked door at least once! We parents do what we gotta do to stay grounded in parenting. Am I right?

The truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If your cup is empty, no one is going to be happy.

Tip for parents: Schedule self-care moments like an appointment you can’t miss. When you care for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to tackle parenting challenges.

2. Lean on Your Support System

Parenting isn’t meant to be done alone. A spouse, family member, friend, or fellow parent can be invaluable when you need advice or simply a listening ear.

I’ll admit, as a wife and mother, it’s not always easy to be on the listening end when my spouse vents. I’ve failed countless times by taking his words too personally. But I’ve learned that he needs the same things I do—grace, understanding, and a safe space to say, “I’m overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overworked.”

Stay grounded: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s delegating tasks or venting to someone who understands, leaning on others can lighten the load.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

Parenting throws curveballs—unexpected meltdowns missed appointments, or sudden changes in plans. Instead of stressing over what’s out of your control, focus on what you can manage.

For example, you might not be able to stop your child’s tantrum immediately, but you can control your response—calm and empathetic instead of reactive.

I often remind myself that kids are still learning how to handle their emotions and anxieties. I’m almost 35 years old, and I’m still learning how to cope with my anxieties. Our kids deserve the same respect we demand from them.

Just today, my kids were arguing over something trivial because neither was truly listening to the other. I finally said, “Guys, slow down and listen to each other. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s called respect—try it.”

Parenting challenges become less overwhelming when you focus on your actions rather than the external chaos.

4. Practice Gratitude in the Chaos

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to lose sight of the good. Taking a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for can shift your perspective. Gratitude doesn’t erase challenges, but it helps you focus on the bigger picture.

I often watch my kids and reflect on growing up with my brothers. After losing my older brother when I was nine, I tell my kids often, “What I’d give for just one more minute with him. Don’t waste time arguing over things that won’t matter tomorrow.”

At the end of the day, family is what matters most. Challenges are just a part of life, but we have so much to be thankful for.

Tip for parents: Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down three things each day that brought you joy, no matter how small. For example:

I had an amazing sandwich at lunch.
The kids and I shared a hilarious moment of uncontrollable laughter.
I spent a peaceful moment admiring the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree.

5. Turn to Faith and Reflection to Stay Grounded in Parenting

For many parents, faith provides strength during hard times. Prayer, meditation, or reading scripture can bring peace amidst the chaos and help keep you grounded in parenting. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Even on the hardest days, your efforts are building a foundation for your child’s future.

If you’re unsure how to lean on faith or want to learn more about having a relationship with God, we’d love to help. Reach out to us—we’d be honored to walk with you on this journey.

Stay grounded: Reflect on the values you want to instill in your children. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

Remember, Challenges Are Temporary

No matter how tough parenting feels right now, it won’t last forever. By staying grounded, you’ll help yourself and model resilience for your kids. Parenting challenges test us, but they also provide opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

What’s Your Go-To Tip?
How do you stay grounded during parenting challenges? We’d love to hear your insights—share them with us at [email protected]!